The Mischievous Turnabout
by Peoplepersonsof DooM
Summary: A companion fic to The Fated Turnabout. "So, about Rhoda..." she started with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "...How did you guys get together? Did you actually do it on iFly?" Miles without hesitation swatted Lyn over the head with his hand lightly in response. In times of worry, there's nothing better than causing a bit of trouble...whether it's intentional or not.
1. Temptation

AN: Hello! Welcome to a companion piece to The Fated Turnabout.

 **TURN BACK IF YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF OC/CANNON ROMANCES!** **For the best reading experience for the first 2 chapters of this story, you should have read up to at least chapter 46 of FT for the full story. Note that the rating may move to M.**

This is mainly for my peeps who like the idea of the Milyn ship and simply because FT isn't meant to be a romance story at the end of the day. And well, you guys know me...expect a comedy of errors here! And some attempts at bringing some more characters in that we haven't seen yet or haven't seen in a while.

It's a bit of a deviation from how I usually write, considering FT is written in 1st person point of view. Because I wanted to give a fuller look into what characters are thinking and feeling it's been switched to a 3rd person viewpoint. I like to think of these as filling the blanks to the main story, that aren't really important, but happen to add more depth.

In any case, I hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

"Can I stay with you tonight?" Lyn asked Miles.

Her heart was pounding.

She didn't want to dance around the topic- it was getting late. And besides, not like he could say no, could he? Not after the other night, she mused. But somehow, her body was acting on its own accord as she held her breath. Damn nerves. It couldn't be a no. They both wanted the same thing from her understanding.

Yet, the suddenness of her question caught Miles off guard. He froze in his place as though he were zapped by a freeze ray. Her words seemed to reverberate in his head.

"I'm scared. I don't want to be alone tonight," she spoke again with a softness to her voice, as she tried to smooth over the somewhat blunt move on her part. "When I wake up tomorrow, everything will be different for better or worse and I don't want to face it alone."

Her demeanor was far gentler in this moment than it had ever been in recent memory. She wasn't lying when she said was scared. With all the dangers she had experienced, there was no way she was fearless. However... she was a sneaky little thing.

There was an obvious ulterior motive.

Lyn usually did this. She would often ask for one thing, while wanting another, just never saying it aloud. But she didn't have to, especially not this time.

The prosecutor could feel himself melting.

It was difficult for him to put a finger on why exactly. At most, Miles determined Lyn was a beguiling mixture of audacious and mousy.

On one hand, she knew what she wanted, knew what buttons to press when it came to getting his attention. On the other hand, this approach was indirect and shy even for someone going after what they wanted.

Sometimes, he'd feel like killing her if she didn't end up doing it herself with all the messes she got in. Other times, he felt it necessary to be her protector and to save her from harm.

She was a definite contradiction. One he'd sort out soon enough...

"Very well," Miles said simply without pressing the matter. He already knew what she wanted him to do. And what _he_ wanted to do.

"Thank you," Lyn said squeezing his hand with a slight smiling appearing on the corner of her mouth.

She felt relieved. It would work out, at least for this evening. In the long run, who knew what would happen? She would go home once the Kristoph situation was resolved. But until that day came...she would take Miles for herself.

They walked the rest of the way to Miles' car in silence and the car ride to his home was more or less the same.

He was rather surprised as Lyn was usually chatty, but then again the air between them had changed. It was not the usual light hearted camaraderie they usually shared, but instead replaced by this stifling hunger, a need that would be best satisfied privately in the comfort of his home. For a moment, and only a moment, he had the thought of the car...but he determined he must remain classy for her sake.

How much longer must this facade last? The false image of calm killed him on the inside as his impatient fingers drummed on the steering wheel.

The girl would look at him for a moment when she believed him not to be looking, but would then quickly withdraw, turning her focus to look at the passing scenery through the window.

What does a person say in a situation like this, Lyn wondered. Had she ever really been a situation like this? She couldn't recall, so probably not. To be honest, she hadn't felt this type of intensity between her and man before. Not like she didn't have _any_ experience, but all of what Lyn had experienced in her past life had been for the most part the awkward, immature bumblings between people who weren't totally sure of themselves and who were just learning how to walk in the minefield of man/woman interactions. If anything they were passing infatuations that led nowhere. Nothing, not even her one serious relationship, had this energy that was so powerful that it rendered her silent and fidgety. The tension between her and Miles right now could probably suffocate a crowded room. Because of that, she figured for the time being it was just better to wait things out quietly than to make things more intense.

Perhaps it wouldn't be for long, she thought. Lyn had noticed the car was accelerating far quicker than it had been before. Miles had _looked_ normal on her last glances at him, but she could feel an underlying current of a feral nature...the type of energy a wild animal has before it pounces on its prey. The blink and you'll miss it type of deal.

She had gotten a glimpse of it before, that night at the Gatewater. The usually level headed and composed prosecutor had been ready to take her, if not for the presence of a third party. She wondered if the real Miles was some type of beast... And then she wondered if she would really be tempting it.

Once more, she looked over her shoulder at an attempt to spot the animal within. Because they had stopped at a red light, he returned the glance.

"Is there something I can help you with?" he asked lightly with a smirk.

Lyn felt the blood rush to her face. She hastily shook her head. "N-no, nothing."

"Are you sure? You've been looking at me quite a few times," Miles pointed out, his words seeming to dance around the matter yet to be resolved.

God. She hated when he started teasing her like this. She found herself at a loss for words, only able to respond with shaking her head once more. If there was anything she had learned over the course of the last year being around him, it was that he could be a bit of a sadist. But she supposed she must be a masochist to go along with torment by his hand. To Lyn, a true companionship involved teasing, taunting, and ripping each other regularly. Anything less than playfulness and she'd grow disinterested rather fast.

Miles loved it. Shutting her up was always satisfying, especially when she was acting like a brat. For all the times the girl had messed with him, it was only fair the favor was returned in kind...and maybe by two fold depending on his mood. Lyn was the type of girl who could push one around if one allowed it, so he never did. When she started to provoke him he'd never let anything go until he waged his revenge. Sometimes, Miles would be guilty of starting trouble in his own right curious to the girl's reaction to particular actions since there were moments he couldn't entirely read her. To increase the pressure Miles figured he could torture her some more before the ride was over.

Gently, he placed his right hand on her thigh. It caught her off guard, as Lyn twitched slightly at the action. If he could, he would have left it there the whole time.

"If you won't tell me, I'll just assume you were thinking about how amazing I am," he said slowly stroking her thigh up and down.

"N-no w-way," she stammered out, unable to focus on much besides the warm hand caressing her thigh on top of the rayon material of her pants. It felt nice and made her wonder what the sensation would feel like on exposed skin. "You're j-just a dork…"

He chuckled as he lifted his hand off to return to the wheel, paying attention to the roads. "You couldn't make yourself think that if you tried. You're glancing at me, thinking how incredibly handsome I am, aren't you? And you're also thinking how much you'd want to…"

Lyn was burning up with embarrassment and annoyance. "How I'd want to do what?"

"Oh, it's nothing. Forget it."

He continued driving as if what he said hadn't held any significance whatsoever.

"Don't be like that. Tell me," she pleaded.

"Why don't you tell me?" he teased.

"Miles...come on."

As part of his torture scheme he didn't respond. It was clever of him. He knew how much she hated losing to him and how much she hated saying things like that, even if they both knew it was true.

Lyn chewed the inside of her cheek. She could ignore it, but it would eat her up on the inside. But if she submitted and told him, she'd feel stupid and more silly than before. How much she'd want to...do what exactly? There were a few things. She wanted to hug, to kiss, to…

Why was he being so mean about it? She folded her arms. When he poised it certainly like that, she'd refuse to say it outright. Her pride wouldn't allow her to fall to her enemy so easily.

In stubbornness, she said no more. Miles chuckled to himself. If she was irritated now, just wait until later, he thought. The words, the exact words that he wanted to hear would flow from her mouth like a waterfall by the time he was done with her.

In the next ten minutes, they had arrived. Miles had parked in the driveway on the right side of his home.

Miles had already stepped out of the car. He didn't want to wait on her for much longer, thus marking his appearance on the passenger side, opening the door for her.

"Here you are, madam. As your personal chauffeur, I must insist you exit the vehicle before you catch cold sitting here any longer than necessary," he remarked sarcastically.

Lyn rolled her eyes at him as she hopped out. "Thank you, sir for your care, but I must insist that take a moment to collect my bearings before entering what could very well be my final hour."

He shut the door behind her, locking it with the key. "Final hour? You don't think me a madman, do you?"

"Oh, heavens no. Perhaps, you're worse than a madman," she said, playing along. "You're a wild animal who's escaped the zoo, I'd say."

Miles stepped closer, causing her to back into the car. His gray eyes she'd once mistaken for wholly dispassionate, were staring her down in a way that made her feel totally defenseless.

It was admittedly strange to her to be in this position. The man whom she'd come to rely upon in times of trouble, the one who was her calm in the storm, the one who she normally felt was her hero, though she'd never outright say it to his face, was ready to attack her…

...In the best way possible, of course.

Yet, it didn't remove with dissonance, or rather the duality of the whole thing. Miles Edgeworth was normally an uptight British gentleman, one who preferred a cool headed rational approach as a means of sophistication. _This_ Miles Edgeworth, the one standing before her right now, felt akin to an aggressive brute, acting almost thoughtlessly on sheer instinct alone.

They were only inches apart.

She took in his masculine scent, mixed with what she assumed was his perfumed soap or body wash. She wondered how it would smell, mixed with her own scent...

Like the fool she was, she wanted- longed to get closer. But at the same time, she wished to flee, away from the heavy scrutinizing stare. The tension between those two options led to the ultimate paralysis, just standing in place...waiting.

"And what would _you_ know about that?" his voice lost the playful tone it had only a mere moments ago, replaced with a deeper and gruffer attitude, as the prosecutor reached behind her, quickly sliding his hand up her back until he found what he wanted in her ponytail, giving it a teasing yank.

Lyn's head jerked backwards slightly as she gasped. To answer his question, next to nothing, she thought. But she certainly felt _it._ That primal feeling. She was drowning in it feeling like she was cornered. The situation was totally in his control now.

Not like she wanted it any other way.

He was so close. But as he promised to himself, he wouldn't do anything outside in respect to Lyn. He released her ponytail and took a step away to reign control of himself.

He acknowledged that she hadn't been _totally_ wrong. Miles liked to think of himself as a... trained animal. When it came to these affairs, he liked to let loose. He never held back. Much like his work, he pursued it ardently, until the very end.

"Well, don't stand there all day, follow me," he said shrugging off that moment of intensity as though it didn't happen. Miles motioned for the woman to follow him as he walked up the steps to the porch and inside. Lyn took a second to breathe before following him. She used to always think of Miles as a stick in the mud, but the more she saw, the more convinced he was far more passionate than he let on.

The inside of the two story home wasn't what Lyn would call inviting necessarily, but it was simple and had this calming effect on her mind. Unlike many homes she'd visited, Miles didn't like to clutter up his space with junk. It made sense, for he was the type of guy to cut straight to heart of the matter.

As she was briefly surveying her new surroundings, she'd barely noticed when she'd been led into the kitchen for a seat. The prosecutor told her, he'd be back briefly as he had to check on his dog since it'd been some time since he'd been home. In about 5 minutes he reentered the kitchen. And like any respectable host should, he offered her some tea (as he started to prepare himself a cup) or anything else she'd like.

"I'm good with a glass of water...unless you have hot chocolate," she grinned.

He shook his head with that dumb smug expression he held when he was about to make fun of her. "You're such a child."

"Oh come on. You can't tell me you don't like sweet things? I'm not all fancy to have tea 24/7 like you, you snob."

"I'm afraid I don't have such a voracious appetite for sugary sweet things like you do, so unfortunately I can only fetch you water."

"Go figure," she started waving a hand dismissively. "Can't expect much from a stick in the mud like you."

"Mhm," he said as he grabbed a shiny glass from one of the cabinets. In a few seconds he had filled it with bottled water from the fridge, and passed it to her.

"Thanks," she said taking a sip.

Once he'd finished making tea and sat down next to her with it.

After a few moments, Lyn started a conversation, asking him what he'd thought of all that had just transpired in the past few days. He'd admitted it was quite bizarre, but for him at this point the crazy aspect had been jaded for all the strange situations he caught himself in. For a while he entertained conversation for a variety of related topics, as he should, for he figured he needed to calm down. He needed to be in complete control of himself first before he could reign over her after all.

"So you're saying I have my own game?" the man queried, wondering just what exactly it would look like. He finished off the last of his tea, setting gently on its saucer.

Lyn nodded as she fiddled with the empty glass in front of her on the table. "Two, actually. It's called Ace Attorney Investigations. Yours was unique in the series in general because it was the first time we weren't limited to a first person point of view. The games were in third person and it was interesting because you could move and walk around to investigate...it also introduced 'Logic'."

Miles raised a brow, looking one part confused and one part amused.

The girl giggled. She already understood his point of contention. "So, Mr. Wright has the magatama and his protege Apollo, which you haven't met and probably won't for some time, has a bracelet. The magatama as you already know basically detects secrets. Apollo's bracelet enhances his ability to spot tells people have when they're hiding secrets. And...well they just gave you logic as your magical lawyer super power."

"...So in other words, common sense," the man said wryly.

"Ya, pretty much," Lyn smiled, partially showing her teeth. "Believe me, us players thought it was hysterical. First we get magical truth detecting objects and then our next super power is...logic. Something you'd think everyone would have. But some people speculated that because the Ace Attorney universe is so bizarre and has its own sense of crazy logic, that perhaps being rational here is a superpower in itself. Best part is how everyone is amazed at how you use 'logic' in Investigations."

It was rare he fully laughed, but on this occasion he did. It sounded absurd, but at the same time made total sense for all the asinine people and experiences he had encounter during his career thus far. "I do have plenty of moments when I feel I'm the only sane man in the room, perhaps that explanation isn't too far off."

"Haha, that's why I liked you best. I always felt like I was surrounded by idiots who were missing the point when I was in high school. I could sympathize with the frustration of not having anyone else around me make sense."

"Then which is worse? Being here or at home?"

Lyn thoughtfully pursed her lips and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "...I think here, simply because the people here are just flat out more bizarre, which is saying a lot. But then again lots of things are weird here."

"I'm not surprised in the slightest," Miles said dryly. "Actually, what exactly did these two games cover in my life?"

"The Investigation games originally happen after the Hazakura Temple case. So in the first one, you deal with the murder on the plane being initially accused of the murder by Rhoda, the murder in your office by that weirdo Portsman, the kidnapping deal with the Armanos, a flashback case with how you met Gumshoe and Kay with the double murder in the courthouse, andddd well the other was the really annoying and drawn out battle between you guys and treeman, Quercus Alba. God, I hated him and that case..."

He snorted at her nickname for Alba, remembering the withered husk of the man as they were _finally_ able to bring him to justice. Being there, he felt like he'd been trying to kill a cockroach for hours as the man refused to give up.

But Miles took pause for a moment, his mind noticing something amiss.

"Odd," he said tapping a finger on his arm. "These events all happened, though it happened after I left the courts for a year."

"Maybe things are different across universes. I dunno." The girl shrugged. "In any case, I have to admit you were pretty badass, at least when the gunman was in your office. I would have freaked if I were you...but I guess Miles Edgeworth is a total alpha."

Miles smirked, tapping a finger on his temple. "I'm true to my word. No one gets away with murdering in my office...as well as other mischief."

"Though, what was not cool was you during the kidnapping situation. But not like I'll tell you to not get involved in dangerous stuff, since the hero in you does it regardless...Just the badger coming to strike you from behind was creepy as fuck and still haunts me to this day."

She received a noncommittal grunt in response. It was Gumshoe's fault for losing sight him he concluded.

"In any case, the other game happens a little bit after the first. My memory on this is a bit hazy, but in this one, pretty much everyone is against you. You investigate the assassination attempt on the president of Zheng Fa, the culprit of that case dies in jail so you investigate that...uhh then the PIC starts making your life annoying. Then Ray starts making your life annoying...the case with the baking competition happens, well the current case, tied to your Dad's case, Kay ends up with amnesia and you have to defend her at the cost of your badge, a crapton of people are kidnapped, and the last case reveals the conspiracy that Simon Keyes plotted everything and that Blaise Debeste is the biggest asshole I've ever seen."

While it was missing some details, overall it did sum up what happened shortly after Quercus Alba's arrest. He silently nodded at the retelling.

He did understand, but he asked again in order to wrap his head around everything better. "And this is how you knew all about Kristoph was planning? Through these games?"

She nodded solemnly. "Yeah. The first 3 games in the main series cover Phoenix's first and well last 3 years as a lawyer before the events of Apollo Justice, game 4. As I've said already, Phoenix gets his badge taken away from him due to the incident with the forged evidence in the Gramarye trial, thanks to Kristoph wanting revenge on Zak and Phoenix. Since in his eyes, it looks like he was fired as the normal attorney for Zak because he lost a poker game. And then to be dropped in favor of Phoenix Wright, a guy who he thought was inferior to him...he couldn't stand it. So he made it look like Phoenix ordered the forgery that he was going to use. He was already planning to kill the Mishams in advance...So you could imagine my anxiety for the past few days."

That was madness. She'd said it was him along, but for such a petty reason...it was remarkable to go to such lengths. And with the attacks and tampering of Lyn's car and apartment Miles felt he was irredeemable scum.

"What originally happens if Wright loses his badge?"

"...Well simply put he becomes a bum working at a restaurant playing piano as a front to being a poker master that people come to play. But he was researching and creating a new method for courts, the jurist system so he could get his revenge on Kristoph as he figured out it was him who framed him. Kristoph was arrogant enough to stick around Phoenix posing as a friend for 7 years so he could spy on him as he was connected to the Gramarye case... Zak returns to pass over the rights of magic to Trucy and to challenge Phoenix to a game of poker...which he throws a hissy fit about since he loses. Oh and mind you, he wanted to get Phoenix fired. The guy taking care of his daughter which he abandoned...Kristoph murdering him, well can't blame him on that one, honestly."

"He kills Gramarye?"

"Ya. Zak was pretending to be a traveller, but Kristoph must have seen through the disguise and killed him. It looked like Phoenix was guilty of it and he hired Kristoph...rather his protege Apollo to take the case. They uncover it was Kristoph who murdered Zak in court and he was sent to jail... and well 7 years prior he had sent poisoned nail polish and a poisoned stamp to the Mishams. It didn't kill them immediately...it took 7 years for Misham because he unknowingly licked the poison stamp, which Vera had been keeping. She gets accused of murder, but finally they nab Kristoph with use of the jurist system. I mean, Phoenix had to create a new system in court to stop him. What does that say?"

Miles furrowed his brow. Kristoph had already proven himself difficult to pin down based on the TL-5 case alone. That timeline sounded rather bleak. For Lyn to have the opportunity to alter it was a miracle. However, the setback now was that because nothing was happening as planned, there wasn't an easy to predict what would transpire next. Before he had felt she was harboring a grudge as the regular Lyn with that trial that had gone wrong. But this had far reaching consequences.

The girl sighed. "I wished I could have told you sooner, and maybe I should have. But I figured seeing it almost play out would be better so there'd be more proof that I wasn't going after his head on a stick for vengeance...that and I didn't want to lose you."

Lyn hadn't known what to do for so long, but she was glad that she could say everything she'd been keeping to herself. It was a huge weight off of her shoulders even if they hadn't accepted her being from another universe.

"But enough about that," Lyn sat up, looking directly at him. "I nearly forgot to ask."

"What is it?"

"So, about Rhoda..." she started with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "...How did you guys get together? Did you actually do it on iFly?"

Miles without hesitation swatted Lyn over the head with his hand lightly in response.

"H-hey," she snorted out between laughs. "It was just an innocent question..."

"Actually, I have a better method," he mused to himself as rose from the kitchen table and out of the room. Lyn looked curiously as she was still amused by her own foolish and perverted question. Miles returned quickly with a newspaper which was now rolled up in his hand.

"Now, what was that question again, Lyn?" he asked almost menacingly.

Lyn froze for a moment, but she refused to be a coward. She boldly asked once more, this time going as far to stand up from her seat and mimic a thrusting movement with a grin. "I'm asking you if you got it on!"

Miles didn't take his time with hitting her over the head with paper, until she was forced to sit back down in her seat eyes filled with tears of laughter as she tried to cover her head from the hits.

The man sighed. "Bad dog."

"Hey," she snorted. "I'm no dog."

"Well, you can certainly act like one...you crass scoundrel."

She grinned proudly at the term. "You didn't answer the question."

He didn't understand why she wanted to know, but he obliged. "We met a few more times while I travelled on occasion. At one point, she bluntly confessed that she had been interested in me for some time. I'm certain she wanted a relationship, but I wasn't in favor of one. I've never had a problem with being single; it's just been easier that way. So long as I have decent company of friends and Pess, I'm fine. And realistically, with the nature of both of our jobs, it wouldn't work out time wise and I simply can't compromise on my career goals."

"So...?"

Miles tapped a finger on one of his folded arms closing his eyes. "...So there was an arrangement of sorts made. I believe it is called 'friends with benefits' if I'm not mistaken. We tried this for a bit, until Rhoda met someone who could commit."

"Were you jealous?" Lyn asked leaning forward.

The man snorted. "Why would I be? As I've said, I'm fine with being single. And as much as I liked Rhoda as a kind and beautiful person, I didn't have any strong feelings for her. It was a pleasure while it lasted, but ultimately I'm glad she found someone who could give her what I could not."

"And?"

"What? I believe I covered everything, Ms. Investigator."

"No, you didn't," she shook her head plainly. "Did you guys ever bang on the plane, or what?"

At the phrasing of her words, so coarse, Miles turned a shade of pink. He took the moment to hit her once more with the rolled up newspaper. For as much as he enjoyed having sexual relations, he did not care much for the crassness in her vocabulary. "For your information, NO, you pervert. That never happened, even if your dirty imagination likes the idea."

Lyn frowned slightly. It totally killed her fantasy, but she supposed it would make for a good story later...

"So what was it like?" she quickly rebounded.

Miles looked at her, seeing a peculiar of mixture of eagerness and bashfulness wrapped in one. She continued to press for details in sheer curiosity, yet unable to fully meet his gaze.

"Was what like?"

"...You know. The sex."

Just why did she want to know so much? He was fairly certain this was a thing most people would get jealous about. "Why are you so curious?"

"Sorry. Just wondering...since I've never done it myself to be honest with you."

Lyn shifted in her seat uncomfortably. She figured it would be best to mention that important detail now rather than later. She hoped that the prosecutor would be okay with her inexperience.

"Not once?" Miles asked eyes wide.

The girl shook her head.

He admitted he was a bit shocked. For all of her pervertedness he thought she'd done it at least once. She was a bright bulb with a fantastic sense of humor. While she might not have been sweet or anything, he could tell she had a kind heart. Why else would she even be here if that wasn't the case? Additionally, she wasn't a bad looking woman, perhaps on the more slender side, but still.

"May I ask why?"

She took a moment to pause. She licked her lips. "I think...I'm just not very relaxed. Most men I've met just rush into things and it makes me feel skittish. And if I don't feel calm, I freeze up. The best partner I had was one I wasn't even dating. It was, I guess a hookup, but he treated me the best compared to anyone I was seeing officially. The others just think they know best what I need...when they don't. I know what I need, which is not based on some...idealized fantasy based off of movies and pornos. But it's not like I haven't had _some_ fun in my life, if ya catch my drift."

"...Mm. What happened to that hookup? You said he treated you well. You didn't go through with it?"

It was at that question, the girl's brown skin showed hints of a deep red. Lyn wasn't a stranger to awkward moments, but decided she needed to be drunk to recount those tales to Miles. It was ironic that she had been proud of those times back then, but in hindsight now felt mortified of the mere idea of recalling those moments before Miles.

"Haha...Give me a drink and I'll tell you what happened if you really want to know."

He assumed it had to be quite the story. Knowing the trouble Lyn got into here, it would be nothing short of amazing, bizarre, horrific, or humiliating. He determined he'd ask again at a later date just to hear about how ridiculous it was.

"So... is that alright with you?" Lyn asked averting his gaze as she tapped her fingers on the table softly.

Miles understood without needing to ask. "It will be my pleasure."

Surprised, she looked up to be greeted with a small, but genuine smile that helped to assuage her nerves.

The girl seemed to relax at his response, shoulders dropping from their tense upright position. There it was again...that vulnerability he hadn't been used to seeing because of her usual upbeat attitude. How could she be so blunt to ask for this and still remain so shy about it? It tickled and fascinated him all at once. Regardless, her fear was a silly one in his eyes. If the other men failed in their duty to satisfy her, he'd gladly pick up the slack. While he'd normally bed women with a little more experience, he had no issue teaching her what she needed to know...He just needed to exercise a good control over himself tonight. Looking at her now, he knew he'd have to get her to relax. A strange notion, since it was usually her of all people telling _him_ to loosen up. He chuckled at the irony of the situation. At this thought, he was glad he'd taken the time to converse before taking any lustful action.

"Oh, jeez. Sorry, I talked a lot," Lyn said checking the time on her phone. It was about 1:30 in the morning at this point.

Miles shrugged. "I don't mind. If I hated it, I would have told you to stop speaking some time ago."

"You're sooo encouraging," Lyn laughed.

"Just honest," he spoke with a wry smile.

A silence passed.

She felt it coming. The tide was reaching out and the current was gonna suck her in maybe in a few minutes? Within the next hour? As Lyn waited she never once took her eyes off the man's handsome face. In her mind, she determined she liked his eyes best out of all his facial features. To her, eyes were the windows into a person's soul. If there was something special about person, it would be reflected in their eyes...coming from experience.

Miles was no exception.

She remembered the first time she saw him and how his eyes made her nervous. He had held a cold inscrutable look that made it impossible to determine exactly what he was thinking let alone feeling. Yes, for some time the hawk like glance that threatened to nestle a hold into her buried secrets, made her more than anxious. But over time, the gray didn't seem all that gray. With the ice melting she could make out more and more of what he was saying to her nonverbally. Beyond that, she did admit that physically his eyes were beautiful. Not in the same way Phoenix's were- eyes as blue as the sea, the shimmered with the hopefulness of surviving a shipwreck, for maybe they were lost at sea, but there was a chance as small as it was for help to arrive. Full of hopeful determination. No, Miles' eyes were full of a cold determinism...logical pragmatism at its finest. Far harsher and more assured than the other, looking like a strong fog, where anyone looking outside would have trouble seeing the inner workings easily. She thought maybe that's part of why she came to rely upon his support and guidance, as Miles appeared to her to be a seemingly impenetrable force of nature in his own way.

After a while, the man decided it was time. As much as Miles liked to observe and analyze her, he was certain it'd be more fulfilling to do so in bed. He'd collected his bearings and figured they'd have plenty of more time to speak later. Miles wouldn't say it aloud, but he _was_ excited. It had been some time since he'd engaged in any type or relations of that manner. And Lyn was someone he felt safe to show this side of himself to. After all, Miles Edgeworth was no concubine. He was quite selective when it came to partners for a number of reasons, though the ultimate reason was trust.

"...Well, it's late. I suppose we should be going to bed."

The girl nodded and slowly rose from her chair. Miles removed her glass and his tea cup and placed them in the sink. Once he was done, he flicked the light switch out and led the way out of the kitchen to the upstairs hallway.


	2. Giving In

**_AN: WARNING! THIS IS A LEMON. IF YOU'RE NOT INTO THAT TYPE OF THING, WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER DROPS BECAUSE THAT IS FAR MORE FLUFFY! Anyway, it's my first real crack at writing a lemon so let's see how it pans out! Also, shout out to the homie, JordanPhoenix who viewed my initial draft of the scene. She writes amazingly funny and sexy scenes, and I hope to one day learn to write intimate scenes that well. If you're not already, you guys should check out her stories!_**

 _DJJ680: Lol, of course. That's pretty gutsy. I think I'd be too nervous around Kristoph to work for him, even if I didn't know about the dirty dealings he had going. I'd be too busy thinking how perfect and flawless he seemed, and most likely trying not to screw up in front of him. For me, Grossberg is a safer option, since he's well established and you know you'll get paid unlike Phoenix's firm lol._

 _JordanPhoenix: Haha I'm glad you like it! Hehe hope it doesn't disappoint..._

 _Jack54311: No breaks! Of course, it's not everyone's cup of tea. Feel free to skip this chapter and return to the 3rd chapter, since this one is more explicit. The rest of the story is probably what you'd call fluff._

* * *

Miles flipped on the lights and entered his bedroom with Lyn following quietly.

When he turned around after closing the thick beige curtains to his windows on the far side of the room, the prosecutor saw that the girl was standing in the door frame.

The room was painted a light gray offset by the white bed and night stands. Dark gray chairs were set in the lower corners. Nothing was out of place, not even a stray hair on the plushy beige carpet. Lyn found his space to be precisely like his person, tidy, practical, and formal. She was no interior decorator, but found the room had a neutralizing effect that helped to calm her nerves somewhat.

"Have you forgotten how to walk?" Miles teased, returning to her.

She blushed faintly. "Shut up. I can walk fine."

Yet, she remained where she was, now watching the man.

He chuckled as he closed the distance between them, bending over to look down at her. She never took her brown almond shaped eyes off of him.

"Are you alright?" he asked so close that their noses were almost touching.

Lyn could feel the beat of her heart increase in speed. She knew he was doing this all on purpose, the jerk. "I-I'm fine."

"Then there's no need to be so tense," Miles said lowly as he grabbed her shoulders and stroked her arms, allowing her to feel the warmth of his hands through her rayon blouse.

Before she could fully enjoy that, Miles stopped caressing her arms. He flashed a mischievous glance, before completely pulling her against his body with an arm around her waist. She gasped into his mouth as the man gave her a forceful kiss.

Taking advantage of her state, he slid his tongue into her mouth. She could do nothing to prevent the exploration, but it was soon done as they twirled their tongues around each others in a circulation motion that seemed like a dance.

Miles pulled away leaving a tiny trail of spit on the corner of her mouth. Lyn took a breath, still bent over backward.

"You're crazy," she muttered as she tried to wrap her arms around his neck.

He kissed her again and slid his hands past her waist down to her bottom. "What's crazy is _this_."

The blood rushed to her face as he continued to grab her ass. If it hadn't felt good she'd have half a mind to slug him.

It was necessary not to let him totally dominate- it'd be a bit more fun to put up a bit of a fight, Lyn mused. She kissed him lightly before roughly biting his lower lip. In response, he gripped her bottom firmly. She giggled before standing slightly on her tippy toes. She didn't know his weak spots, but it wouldn't hurt to try various spots. She kissed his earlobe a couple of times, which caused him to squirm. Then she cranked the pressure by biting it like a piranha.

This elicited an audible moan from him. Little minx, he mused as the girl happily kept nibbling and sucking his earlobe. It was the sensation of biting and her warm breath getting to him. But only for so long did he allow it to go on.

Miles pulled back, standing straight up, releasing her from his hold. Then he swiftly scooped her up into his arms.

"What are you doing?"

He just walked to the middle of the room, and he dropped her onto the bed.

"I'm about to teach you a lesson," he said throwing off his suit jacket. He quickly undid his cravat and vest, dropping those to the floor. Kicking off his shoes, he crawled onto the bed hovering over her.

She blew him a raspberry. Lyn started doing the same with her bow tie and vest, tossing those and throwing off her shoes.

"You don't have to manhandle me like that," she whined.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

In response, Lyn sat up and swung an arm around his neck, trying to capture him in a headlock. But she was too slow. The man managed to duck his head under the hold and grab her from behind. She tried to flail her arms to escape, but Miles forced them behind her and pressed her directly face down into the bed.

"Mphhh. Let me go," she said into the cotton sheets.

Miles sat on top of her, prevent her from easily escaping his grasp. "Oh, please. You really think I'd let you go so easily?"

He leaned down, chest pressed into her back. He pulled her ponytail forcing her head and neck up.

"I told you," he said huskily into her ear. "I was teaching you a lesson."

"Y-yeah right," Lyn said in a feeble attempt to resist him. A shiver ran down her spine.

Her head was yanked back even further. "Excuse me? Would you care to repeat yourself?"

His voice was mocking, yet completely in control. She found herself caving quickly.

"N-nothing. I didn't say anything."

"You're quite the lucky young lady. If this wasn't your first time, you'd be severely punished," he said lowly as he gave her yet another yank.

Miles kissed and bit all over her ear and then licked from her ear down to her neck. It brought shivers down her spine. Then he forced her up on to all fours.

He stroked her back gently, before roughly slapping her bottom a few times, causing Lyn to yelp. He grabbed her hair once more, and then grinded into her from behind with a few thrusts.

"You see?" he growled. "I'll be gentle today. But if this happens again, you'll be in serious trouble."

She gulped feeling the strangely satisfying sting from her ass.

Well, if she wasn't in for the ass whooping of the century now, there was still a chance to put up another assault, she figured. It couldn't be... _that_ bad.

"So, I'm good to act up today?" she asked with a cheeky smile. She reached behind her, removing the hair tie allowing her long hair to be seen in its volume and length.

"Not like you can do much," he snorted. "I'll give you free reign...for a short amount of time, that is."

"Then let's even the field," Lyn unbuttoned her shirt to reveal a padded black bra.

Miles cocked a brow at her as he watched her strip down to nothing but her lingerie, revealing the thin body once more. This time he didn't have to feel guilty for looking.

"Well, come on. I'm not gonna be the only one. I'll give you a fighting chance," she winked.

The man shook his head, with a smirk. He doubted what she could do as he'd already beat her at her own game already. But he was glad she was clearly enjoying herself now.

He did likewise, undoing his dress shirt and pants tossing them aside. Miles waited for her first move. He tapped a finger on his arm as he always did. "I'm waiting…"

"H-hey. You can't rush genius," she said looking at him with a heated face. It was a pity he had to wear so many layers of clothes normally. She'd kill to see his toned chest more often.

But she wouldn't let his attractive body distract her! No, she had to attack, while she had the chance.

From the middle of the bed, she nearly pounced on him, actually managing to lay him flat on his back.

Before she gave him a chance to react, Lyn began the assault, tickling the man's sides and stomach.

Miles couldn't stop himself from laughing aloud, as he squirmed in an attempt to hide his weak spots. The girl enjoyed it far too much, since the prosecutor was always the serious one. Hearing such resonate laughter without restraint was satisfying.

However, it didn't last that long. Miles turned the tables, managing to grab both of her small wrists and hold them in one hand.

"You...think you're so funny…" he said recovering from laughing so much. But there was a dangerous edge to his voice.

With little warning the demon prosecutor flipped her off of him and switched their positions so that he was hovering over the smaller girl menacingly.

Lyn would have raised her hands in defense if it were possible, but she couldn't slip free of his hold. "Wait! Wait, let's talk about this-"

Miles was savage.

He poked, prodded and tickled Lyn's sides aggressively. In fact, he tickled everywhere. Her stomach, under her arm, her neck, her legs and even her feet.

She begged and pleaded with him to stop between tearful laughs, her position a feeble attempt at the fetal position to hide her most vulnerable spots.

"How does it feel to be on the other receiving end?" he asked with a smirk.

When she didn't immediately respond, he ran a finger slowly across the bottom of her exposed feet.

The girl jerked with a laugh in response. "Stop!"

"You're in luck because I'd like to do something else now."

She heard the creak of the bedsprings, as he made her turn over on her back.

"And... what's... that?" she asked wiping the tears away from laughing so hard.

It took him some time to answer as he was enjoying the view of her body from this angle.

"Something that involves removing obstructions," he said as he playfully pulled a bra strap and let it go.

"Of justice?"

"...Well, it would be an injustice to not remove all of your clothes. And probably more criminal not to continue with the proceedings...of course, if you're comfortable with it."

"Yes!" she blurted out, much to his surprise. And even to her own surprise as she blinked. "Er. I mean...I want to do this."

He shook his head with a chuckle. She was a quivering mess. "...Alright. But tell me if it's too much for you."

Lyn nodded in silence. She was happy he was concerned, but she wanted everything. She wouldn't deny her greediness, and how her thoughts sometimes led down the path they were venturing on. It'd be a disappointment to stop now.

She reached behind her back, undoing her bra. Lyn could feel his eyes upon her. Somehow she squirmed even more knowing she was being observed so closely. In fact, she was usually being monitored by him under that steely gaze, but it was burning her up inside at the moment. And he simply couldn't help it.

He smirked all the while at the awkward fidgety display. People, when they got intimate in his eyes, displayed who they really were. And for all her bravado, Lyn was timid and vulnerable. Her big talk and teasing was clearly her only defense against potential predators. The understanding of the situation amused and excited him in the best way possible. Now, he most definitely would work his hardest tonight.

After slipping his boxers, which were a tiny bit wet, he reached into the nightstand, with new understanding.

The woman's eyes widened at the display. Lyn of course, had gotten a glance at _that_ before. It was under a totally different and more awkward circumstance, but it would be a bold face lie to say that she had noted it's sizable length back then at the hospital. With mounting difficulty she forced herself to perish the thought. But she didn't have to hide it anymore. And how could she anyway with this hunk of a guy about to hover over her in bed? She swallowed hard, watching him put on the rubber. She had taken everything off. There was no defense left.

The pace of her heart beat quickened. She held her breath, wondering just what he would do next.

"Lyn," he said softly, although it was clear he was tickled by her rabbit like instincts which made it appear she'd run off in a second, "just relax. It might hurt a little, but it won't be so bad if you calm yourself, okay?"

The girl had no words, but responded by taking a deep breath, not once taking her eyes off of him, her own eyes watering. He stroked her head lightly, running his hand down all the way down to her stomach. She was soft, despite all the scars she'd accumulated. Soft, despite the playful personality. He gently caressed her a number of times, finding how it relaxed her. And when he was certain of the calm, he advanced.

When he pulled back for a moment, their eyes met. Lyn understood the shift in action coming. She'd spent too much time admiring his eyes not to. Though, when he cupped her face and planted a light kiss on her forehead, she did admit she was a bit surprised. He was far from what she'd consider to be a soft person. But she couldn't deny the sense of care he was giving her now. She reached up and traced her long fingers upon his face. Words were lost to her now, but in her mind she could conjure the word: beautiful.

It wasn't just in physicality- but so much more. She adored all that he was and that was putting it simply, for her feelings seemed to intense to articulate even if she could speak right now. She trusted him, trusted that he would never hurt her and would always be there if she needed it.

He smiled down at her, before he pressed his lips against her own. What began as light pecks, turned to deep kisses. Distance between them disappeared. She ran her hands through his hair as he kissed her neck down to her breasts. Miles enjoyed listening to her tiny moans as he played with her body. He only hoped she'd be more audible when the main event began.

Taking a breather, the demon prosecutor tested the waters with a couple of fingers plunging them inside. Lyn's body jerked involuntarily. "H-hey..."

Miles chuckled as he licked a finger. "You're quite wet for me already...sweet as well."

She flushed in response. "So what?" she squeaked out.

"It means that's time to start the real festivities," he said pulling off her glasses and setting them on the stand.

"Huh? What are you doing? I can't see very well without those..."

It was exactly the point. He wanted her at her most vulnerable and obviously out of his own selfishness he wanted to fully see her expressions. "You will be focusing on what you're feeling now, mostly. Or weren't you before?" he teased.

"Stoopppppp," she whined. "I was focusing on it..."

"Good girl," the man continued to tease. "Now...I'll stop anytime, if you need to me to. Alright?"

She gulped hard. She didn't really know what to expect. "...Alright."

He kissed her one more time on the lips before adjusting himself and slowly, he began to enter.

Lyn whimpered in discomfort as she felt a strong stinging pain.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. He grabbed hold of her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers. He hated the idea that he was causing her any sort of pain. "Should I stop?"

She blinked back a couple of tears and shook her head. It was pain, but a pain of the happy sort. "It's okay," she managed to smile.

"Just a bit more," he promised. He was doing his best to be gentle, but he wanted this portion over as quickly as possible. Luckily, he didn't have to gripe about it for long as he finally managed to push in deep enough. The girl, cried out again, but the worst was over.

"It's okay, it's okay now," he kissed her forehead. "I'm going to move slowly, alright?"

Lyn nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss. He placed a hand on the side of her head, holding on to her thick long hair.

To her it was crazy how close they were, at this point they had merged together as one. Even though it hurt a bit, she didn't think she'd trade this for the world. It was this type of closeness she'd always wanted to experience, but never had until now. She'd never let anyone get that close, so this was a first in more ways than one.

He broke the kiss, looking down on her, large lips slightly parted with eyes that could hypnotize anyone with a slight glance. How he wished he could go all out, but knew it'd be too much for her right now. All the same he was ready.

Carefully, he took his time starting to move. Although, slow, he noted how good it felt, her core wrapping around him. Initially, Lyn continued to wince in pain, but over time, the grimacing stopped. Boldly, she wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Please..."

"Please what?" he said like a petulant child.

Lyn pouted. It was just like him to taunt her when it came to the obvious desire. "...keep going. I want to feel more."

That set a fire in the prosecutor. For all the attacks she made upon his character, she should have to admit every once in awhile that he was desired. "This is music to my ears," he smirked.

He could see the dark skin merge with a shade of red. She wouldn't look at him, but her embarrassment was clear. "In fact, so much so, I want you to say it more plainly."

"W-what?"

"Say exactly what you want."

It was at this moment it felt like the cat had her tongue, chopped it out and grounded it into dust. It shouldn't have been so hard, to admit something so nice. But she was stubborn, and as much as she liked him, saying it to his face seemed like losing on some level. Yet, at the same time, she was on the cusp of something good.

It was back to her initial line of defense. "You're a jerk."

Miles wasn't dissuaded easily. "Incorrect, you have one more chance. Oh, and be sure to look directly at me this time."

Lyn took a breath, before deciding to kill her warrior spirit. She knew Miles wanted this too but he wouldn't hesitate to fuck with her, instead of fuck her in this moment. With that thought in mind as well as blurry vision, she looked directly into the usually steely gray eyes. "You're mean for doing this but..."

"Mhmm," he said as he happily anticipated her words.

"I want..." she paused, struggling to string together words. "I...I want you, alright? I want you, Miles. I've wanted this for so long. So long, I think I'm gonna die right now if you keep teasing me like this. So, please... _please_ me. "

In a rare moment, the man revealed a toothy smile. Lyn was cute. Even as she was bending to his will, she still attempted leverage what little control she had. What they had was mutual, but it didn't hurt for to express it aloud a bit more. For someone so mouthy, she could be so tightlipped about her feelings. But to Miles it mattered little because in the end he'd always drag them from her in one way or another.

He had to hear it from her own mouth, after all this little nuisance had somehow managed to steal his focus away from something that wasn't work.

"That makes me happy to hear," he said lowly. "I will do more than please you, I'm going to enrapture you..."

He was still careful, but he picked of the pace of his movements. It was clear Lyn was feeling more pleasure than discomfort at this point. Their hips rocked together like the ebb and flow of tides at the shoreline. It had surprised her at how intuitive it all was, spending so long thinking that the act was so complicated. At the end of the day, it was really like creating a sweet harmony with someone.

With time, her moans of pleasure became louder. Miles held out control of himself getting closer to climax- he enjoyed her whimpers, when she cried his name, and when claimed her sharp nails into his back.

She found herself warm, mind fuzzier than it was before, with this growing knot in her stomach, that continued to grow with each thrust. Before she realized what was happening, her climax took hold of her body like a balloon that had been blown up until it eventually popped. She called his name and dug her nails deeper into his back than before. Miles kept on until he came soon after.

Catching his breath, he wiped a thin sheen of sweat off his forehead. That felt incredible, but more importantly, it was evident that Lyn enjoyed it. He looked at her, flushed face and trembling body in all.

"Are you alright?" he asked he kissed her cheek.

Lyn nodded with her eyes closed, in a feeble attempt to hide the tears that were streaming down her face. "I-I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

Miles sighed, while he got up to dispose of the condom. She was always a handful no matter the circumstance it seemed. He laid down beside her, wiping away the tear currently rolling down her face. "You don't have to lie. Was that too much for you?"

"Shut up," she snapped still red in the face. "...Sorry. I'm fine...I'm just...really happy, ok?"

Miles was relieved. He worried he pushed her too far. He quietly laughed.

"Hey, don't laugh at me...ugh. This is so embarrassing," Lyn said as she wiped her eyes with her small hands.

"I'm not, I promise," the man said caressing her cheek. "I'm happy too."

At that notion, her body relaxed slightly, though the tremble remained. Lyn inched closer, burying her face into his chest. She wanted to stay there for a while before she was too overcome by her emotions...and the climax as well. It was pointless to Miles, though. He'd long seen through her mask, though he said nothing to show so. He determined it best to acknowledge this facet quietly to himself than saying anything. She was already vulnerable and sensitive enough as it was.

Miles held her close and ran a hand down her small back, contently stroking her as though she were some pet. His lips turned upward at the silly thought. Lyn was far more complex than a pet, yet he knew that she placed her faith in him as one would. They asked to be cherished, taken care of, and they trusted you not to hurt them. It was a pure affection animals held towards their owners.

As foolish as it sounded even in his own mind he relished the idea, that it was him who she felt this fondness for. Him who she trusted. Him who she wanted. As annoying as it had been proven to be at times, he wanted to be there for her. He wanted to protect her.

Happily basking in each other's arms, it was some time before either of them spoke.

"Hey, Miles...?" she asked in a meek sounding voice, almost unsure of herself.

"Hm?"

"That, um, was good," Lyn said.

"It was," he agreed.

"Can...can we do it again?"

Miles blinked. Did he hear that correctly? She wanted to go again? "Lyn, I don't know, your body wouldn't stop shaking earlier."

Lyn pulled her head back to look at him, pouting. "That's an excuse, you just don't have anymore stamina, you grandpa. I should have known s-since you have all that gray hair..."

The audacity of this woman! Of course, he knew that once again she was talking a big and trying to egg him on. Yet, he wouldn't deny that he'd love to go again and ...again.

"My hair color is umber, as I'll have you know," he said in response. "And your body, will not be able to handle what else I have in store."

"Then prove it," she smirked. "Show that you're not just saying it cause you're tired..."

The man turned her over on to her back and whispered into her ear. "I don't know why you taunt me like this. But I'm letting you know, that I won't hold back this time. You'll receive no mercy from me."

The girl felt his warm breath tickle her neck. She already felt turned on when he spoke like that to her. "...Then show me what you got."

And so he did.

Miles wasn't kidding. They made love until the early morning, in a much rougher fashion than before. At this point, both of them lied in bed in total exhaustion facing each other.

"Miles," Lyn whined. "You're mean."

"I warned you a number of times," he yawned. "about what I could do to you."

"Well, I bet you can't do it again..."

"Lyn, you're not even awake enough to taunt me. Go to sleep."

"Aww...okay. I'll taunt you first thing in the morning," she muttered.

He was sure that she would, though the question would be if he would even be awake to accept such teasing. On a work day at that. It was nigh unlikely he'd show up tomorrow now. But in scheme of things it didn't matter. What did matter was that he had kept his promise- he hadn't allowed Lyn to be alone for the night.

And it was certainly one promise he didn't mind keeping.


	3. Sweet Talk

_AN: This one is light fluff. But it leads up to the next comedy of errors so I'm pretty excited for it. As always, thanks for taking the time to check out my work._

 _JordanPhoenix: Of course! And I'm glad you enjoyed! xD absolutely agree. I really do not see him as a bottom bitch lol. I'm certain our headcannons are one in the same xD. Whore mode activated for Lyn hahaha._

 _DJJ680: Hahaha xD. Now, I just hear the loop of the saxophone solo in my head over and over. Hopefully, Kay's mix has Lionel Richie's Hello too xD._

* * *

Pulling the curtains back, Lyn looked out of the window of her bedroom...one she was gradually coming to believe was her own. She laughed to herself, amused at how quickly she was becoming attached to the idea of living with Miles.

It was pitch black outside, minus the twinkle of a couple of stars that one could see only if they squinted hard enough. Impatient, she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth.

It was past 7. Miles sometimes had a habit of staying super late at the office. Her not being as dedicated, would leave around 5. To be in that damn office was suffocating.

The more time went on, the better she understood the nuances and details of the work she had been assigned. And the more she understood, the more she hated. It made her brain hurt just to reach that level of understanding. And because of that, the faster she wanted to get out of there when it was time.

Lyn closed the curtains back and frowned. She wondered if it was needy of her to call Miles now. But to be fair, she hadn't seen him since this morning. Swallowing her insecurity, she grabbed her phone and decided to ring him up. It rang a few times before he picked up.

"Miles Edgeworth, speaking," answered the deep voice on the other line. She had always liked the sound of his voice from the first time she heard it, but somehow he sounded...cooler over the phone for some reason. Not like she'd ever admit that. She made a mental note to make more excuses to call later.

"Hey buddy," she said. "How are you doing tonight?"

"I'm here. I suppose that counts for something," Miles said derisively.

"And here I thought you loved your job," the woman said poking fun.

"You do know that every job has some aspect you don't like about it, right?" he asked almost exasperated.

Someone was grumpy. "Haha, I know, I know. I'm not that silly, Miles. Just pulling your leg."

"Mhm."

"How much more do you need to do?"

"Quite a bit."

"Awwwww…" Lyn said. She supposed she ought to leave him be. "Then I guess I'll leave you alone."

"You don't have to go so soon. We barely spoke today."

"Yeah, but I don't want to distract you," she said not wanting to be a hindrance to his work.

"Lyn, you distract me daily," Miles remarked matter of fact. "I'm pretty sure it's impossible for you to not be anything but a distraction."

"Hey," she caught herself grinning from ear to ear. "Is that a good thing or bad thing?"

"...The jury's out," he said lightly.

Lyn sighed, though out of amusement more than disappointment. She shouldn't have expected him to be forthcoming with that answer.

Miles changed the topic. "How was your day today?"

"I mean, it's probably no different from yours. It just involved Detective Gumshoe talking to me for longer than I would have liked about…" It was then she remembered what Gumshoe had mentioned earlier.

"About what?"

Oops. She forgot that she hadn't told him about the...double date proposal.

She coughed. "Miles, darling...dear..."

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. "...What asinine thing have you done now?"

"Uhm. So, we were invited to go on double date of sorts...with Gumshoe and Maggey."

There was a long pause.

"...Tell me you said no," the demon prosecutor demanded.

"If I said I said no, would it make you happy?" she asked with an awkward laugh.

"...You're kidding me," Miles groaned.

"It's Saturday."

"God," he muttered. "What on earth would I do with Gumshoe…?"

"I don't know. He said it'd be exciting, whatever it was we did."

"Joy."

"I don't think it'll be _that_ bad."

"I'm glad you're acknowledging that much, at least."

He liked Gumshoe, despite the screw ups. He got the job when it needed to be done. And truthfully, he was one of the few people he knew who could trust and count on as a loyal friend. Though, he felt like they had little in common…

Lyn smirked. She was glad Miles was at the office. He probably would have tormented her in person if she had brought out that news before him. Then again, he might brutalize her feet later.

But for now, she laughed in her mind at how funny it would be imagining how this date would play out.

After all, Miles and Gumshoe were worlds apart… Dick Gumshoe was a guy you'd want to kick a few beers back with at a pub with the boys. Miles Edgeworth was a man you'd see with a glass of wine exchanging business cards with professionals at a networking event.

Talk about an odd couple.

Lyn couldn't say she was that much better, though. She was middle class. When it came to taste...she could have quite expensive tastes in clothes, furniture and outings… but if anyone ever saw her diet they'd think she were a plebeian. She hated beer, knew nothing about the outdoors, and never learned how to swim.

She could at least say, she had marginally better luck than Maggey though.

"Well, it'll be a new learning experience, eh?"

"Learning in how awkward things can get?"

She laughed in response. "Don't be such a stick in the mud."

"You owe me."

"I know...but if you saw his face, you wouldn't say no either." Lyn remembered that overly eager puppy dog face Gumshoe had put on, so excited and hyped up for the idea, that she couldn't bring herself to deflate him.

"You owe me something _very_ nice," he said.

She took the bait. She knew Miles wouldn't let it go since he was stubborn. "Okay, what do I owe you?"

"Your body. For a whole day."

"H-huh?" she flushed at the wording.

"If go on this double date, you will do everything I ask of you for a whole day. No matter how absurd, stupid, or otherwise embarrassing it may be." Lyn could practically envision the smirk he had on the other end.

"Nrg..." She didn't like the sound of it. It actually made her worried. She was the troll here, and she had no idea what ridiculous meant to Miles. What dumb things would he have her do?

"Is it a deal?"

"I don't know..."

"Take it or I won't go." His words were firm and resolute, like those of a strict parent.

Goddamit Gumshoe. "...Oh, fine."

"A wise decision."

"For you."

"Oh and you too. I think it'd be a good exercise in obedience," he remarked dryly. "I look forward to have you as my personal assistant _all_ day. I'll have to prepare a schedule in advance."

"Oh, shut up."

"I can already imagine it. You can make breakfast, do the dishes, do the laundry, make the bed-"

"Nooooo! This sounds so lame already..."

"Really?" he teased. "I thought being the equivalent of a maid would be nice. How could I make it make it more appealing...?"

"Nevermind," she said quickly. "I take it back. I'm fine."

"Oh, no, no, no. If you're _my personal_ assistant, I have to make this a good, no rather, one of the best experiences you'll ever have," Miles said mockingly. "Would you rather act as in home health aid?"

"What?"

"You could help me shower-"

She coughed, choking on her own spit. "I'm sorry, but WHAT?"

"If being a maid is dissatisfactory to you it's another option that should be less strenuous."

"You're a pervert."

Miles outright laughed. It felt like he was laughing in her face. If he were here she would have punched him.

"Hm, I believe this is what they call a case of the pot calling the kettle black."

"That's not-"

"I'm just asking for a back scrub. Have you _never_ experienced hard to reach locations? How's that perverted? That's your perverted mind seeing things that aren't there. But...not like you have to do it. You can just opt to be my maid instead."

Lyn wanted to protest, but she laughed instead. Miles was an evil human being. And when he teased her, it was often done so strategically well that she was impressed.

"I don't think I'd be a very good health aid...Guess I'll be a maid."

"Perfect," he said. "We'll pick a good outfit for you after that travesty that Saturday is passes."

"Outfit?" she squeaked. "What outfit?"

"Don't be silly. Obviously, attire befitting of a marvelous maid," he continued never once breaking character. "I wouldn't want your regular clothes to be damaged from all of the hard work you'll be doing for me."

"...You're so mean."

"Don't worry, I'll net you the best outfit money can buy. In fact, it'll fit... above the knees, so it can make the physical manual labor an easier process."

Lyn ran a hand over her face. She was going to look ridiculous in one of those maid's outfit.

"If only I could be a maid for someone with less of an ego…" she sighed.

"Nonsense, you wouldn't even be here to begin with if I didn't have it."

"Nu uh."

"...Then tell me, what kinds of men are you normally attracted to?"

She paused. It took her a second to recall the patterns. "Uhm. I like wise guys. People that can be competitive with me. And are confident."

"And men you didn't like?"

"Boring...insecure...were always too nice to me."

"You'd be bored otherwise. You need someone with an ego because it keeps yours in check."

"I don't have one."

"Ms. Delusional has checked in."

"Where is mine?"

"Oh come, now. You're always begging for my attention in the most interesting ways. In fact, I'd wager this phone call was made simply because you wanted my attention. Was it not?"

Her face was burning up. She couldn't bring herself to even make a bad lie. "Well, it's like..."

"Like what?"

"Like..." she wouldn't admit that, yes, she indeed want his attention. However, she did missed his presence. That was a little more difficult to spit out, though.

"I knew it."

"You think you know everything, Miles. What's new?" she riffed. "That's _your_ ego speaking."

He chuckled. "I, at least, won't deny it."

"Hrn..." now she was annoyed. "There's nothing to deny, other than how I just missed your stupid presence. That's the only why I made the call. Not just because I like to be showered with attention."

"Oh? Really?" he asked with amusement. "Nice of you to confess the obvious for a change."

"You-"

"Don't think I didn't guess why, Lyn," he said. "I just pushed a few buttons per se...and let you do the rest."

He baited her, hook, line, and sinker. He was way too good at it.

Mildly embarrassed, she said nothing.

"...I never mind when you call. Don't hesitate to do so if you wish to speak with me," he admitted in earnest. "It's a welcome distraction."

"I'm glad."

She was relieved to know it wasn't annoying to him.

"But I'm afraid I must go now. I have to finish up, so I won't be here as late tomorrow."

"Okay," she said. "What time are you coming back?"

"I should be home by 8:30."

"Yay! Wait, I mean...oh no. It means I can't practice cooking," she teased.

"Please don't. Not without me there. I like my house to remain free of ash."

"Heh. Heh. Heh. Well you'd better hurry up," she said turning on her super villain voice. "It might be a barren wasteland by the time you return muhahaha."

"In other words, please come back soon because I'm bored, in Lyn language."

"Hmph. Way to take the drama out of it..." she pouted. "But I'll stop holding you up. Later, alligator!"

"Bye-"

"Excuse me? What do you mean bye? Do the rest!" Lyn demanded.

Miles sighed before giving in. "Hrn...In a while... crocodile."

There was always a feeling of pride that swelled whenever she could get him to say something so cheesy. She giggled before she hung up. "Bye!"

The girl placed the phone back in her pocket.

She felt pretty grateful that he wasn't around right now to see her being all giddy about their talk. Content, Lyn hopped onto the bed. Lyn didn't consider herself a sappy person, but she couldn't deny to herself how much she liked Miles. Of course, she usually downplayed it around him and chose to harass him with jokes and pranks instead.

It's just that she found it too much at times to divulge how much she cared because it was a whole lot. It was probably too much. It definitely scared her though. Perhaps, she'd get it straight before she left. Or maybe it was just something better not expressed as the inevitable parting would happen.

But in the end, it didn't matter too much since he could see through her and coax out what she tried to hold back regardless.

Lyn sighed.

She'd have to get back at Gumshoe for being to affable to say no to. It was his fault she was opting to become a "maid" for a day. A little practical joke wouldn't hurt, she thought. Lyn figured there was at least an hour before Miles arrived so she'd spend some time brainstorming some new pranks to try out on her next target...


	4. Carpool Karaoke?

_AN: Today starts the double date ;)! We listen to some oldies but goodies in my humble opinion. Thanks for reading!_

 _Jack54311: Glad you enjoyed it! It's fun examining how they express themselves to each other. And what she'll do to Gumshoe will be revealed down the line!_

* * *

"Lyn, get up. You take a year to prepare yourself and I would rather we wouldn't be late to whatever spectacle awaits us, so we don't accidentally prolong it."

"Just five more minutes…" the woman said as she buried herself under the comforter.

Miles wasted no time ripping the sheets off, eliminating any warmth she clung to.

"Noooooooooooo…"

"Perhaps we could have stayed there longer, but you made this choice," his words were a mix of disdainful and mocking.

Miles wouldn't openly admit it, as he usually liked to get up early on weekends, but faced with a choice between staying in bed and going out early with Gumshoe for some type of unanticipated adventure...the choice was obvious.

Lazily, Lyn sat up in bed and reached for her glasses on the stand. As usual Miles was mean about waking her up, but she was lucky it wasn't worse today considering the circumstances.

At Gumshoe's request, (for what he declared a day of major fun, which Miles scoffed at) Lyn and Miles were asked to be ready by 11 AM sharp. He would pick the two of them up and they'd be off to...wherever it was they were going.

The detective refused to disclose where they were even going for it would spoil the surprise. He only suggested that they wear loose and casual clothes.

With her glasses on, she went to whine at Miles for his rudeness, but paused. Her eyebrows raised at the outfit the prosecutor was wearing. Oddly enough, she had never seen him wearing a pair of jeans like a commoner, but she supposed the day was the day.

She was stunned as to how he could still look so good wearing nothing but sneakers, loose fitting jeans, and a reddish-pink tshirt. In a way, it also felt like the universe was breaking. His "casual" was usually business.

"What are you looking at?"

"A loser."

He rolled his eyes in response. "Well, I suppose this loser is going to shave. I suggest you grab something to eat and get dressed."

"Okay, mommy dearest," she said sticking her tongue out. The woman hopped out of bed after some drowsiness dissipated.

"It's a wonder how your mother managed to raise you at all," he muttered as he left for the bathroom.

Lyn chuckled. His guess was as good as hers. She couldn't remember a time when she wasn't an outright clown or a deadpan snarker. Her family had told her stories of how she trolled other starting from age 2.

And speaking of trolling, she remembered her prank for Gumshoe. It wasn't anything big like a porno or speed dating set up, but it would be amusing all the same. It was hitting the detective where it hurt...

The woman slipped downstairs and into the kitchen. Pess greeted her with a bark. It was a kind gesture considering the dog was eating. Giddy, Lyn opened the fridge and took out her bag holding a McDonald's box and Pepsi.

Eyeing her prank with glee, she didn't feel like making anything that would take effort. Thus, Lyn grabbed a quick bowl of cereal, washed it out so Miles wouldn't nag her, and ran back upstairs to get dressed.

By the time she was finished getting ready it was 10:45. The two of them sat hanging around on the couch in the living room.

"So what do you think we're doing?" Lyn asked head in Miles' lap. "Maybe like...laser tag?"

"If Gumshoe woke me up to go play laser tag, I'll be livid," Miles said. "Knowing him...whatever it is it will truly be 'special'."

"Hm, guess a picnic is out of the question...ah well, I guess we'll see soon."

"Indeed."

"Thanks for doing it," Lyn said sitting up and turning to hug him.

"You remember our trade off, it'll happen tomorrow."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," she brushed off. "But thanks anyway, you big grump."

He had had half a mind to torture her for the whole day even before tomorrow, but hearing a genuine sounding thanks made him reconsider...

Ding, chimed the bell.

...but not for too long.

Lyn hopped to her feet, grabbing her bag of food. "It begins!"

It certainly did, he thought sarcastically.

Lyn rushed over to the door and opened it. "Hi, detective!"

"Hey, Ms. Doom! Ready for a day of adventure?" he asked her. It was funny seeing him in anything other than his signature green trench coat. Today he was wearing jeans, sneakers, a Blue Badger t-shirt and a dark green bomber jacket.

She nodded. "Definitely!"

Miles stood up, and dragged his feet to the door. He figured it was best to get this day over with as soon as possible.

"Good morning, Detective Gumshoe."

"Morning, sir! Get ready! I'm gonna knock your socks off with today's itinerary!" Gumshoe huffed excitedly.

"Oh, I bet you are," Miles replied deadpan.

Lyn repressed a giggle, while she nudged Miles in the arm with her elbow. She knew he wasn't excited to go, but he should at least try to be a little less sarcastic since he was going to torment her the following day.

"By the way, detective," Lyn said extending her bag of food towards Gumshoe. "I got this just for you. It's a fun meal. I think you'll _really_ like it."

Miles observed how happy she was to pass over the food to Gumshoe, noticing the glint of mischief in her eyes, that sadly the detective didn't notice as he happily accepted the food without so much as an afterthought. Unfortunately, for him, Miles didn't feel like letting him in on the secret that whatever was in that bag probably wasn't any good for him. He was still upset to be up this early going to some undisclosed location. He was honestly, just hoping that Gumshoe wasn't taking them to a corn maze or something.

"Maggey's in the car, so how bout we get to it!" he said walking off the porch and down to where he parked. Miles looked at Lyn, with an expression that asked, 'what have you gotten me into now?' She responded by laughing.

He shut and locked the door behind him. "So, what's in the bag you gave him?"

"Oh? You caught on, huh?" she asked playfully.

"I've spent enough time with you to know that you've planned something. That wasn't a charity, I know."

"Haha, well that's a secret," she grinned. "Don't spoil it."

"Believe me, if I felt like it, I would have told Gumshoe a few seconds ago."

She gasped. "Ah, so you want to see it, huh?"

"I won't deny it," he said. "How horrific is it?"

"Mm. Well, I think he'll be more disappointed than anything else when he sees what's inside," she mused. "But let's get going. You'll see it happen later."

Lyn walked off to the dark green colored sedan parked in front of my house with the engine running. With a sigh, he followed behind her into the back seat once she'd opened the door and climbed in.

Inside, he slammed the door shut. "Hi, Mr. Edgeworth!" said Maggey just as chipper.

"Hello, Maggey," he replied as he tried to adjust to Gumshoe's car. Miles wasn't all that used to driving with other people, as he liked driving and adored his car. To him, he found the car was much like Gumshoe. A bit slovenly, but it served its purpose. For lack of a better word, the car was in mint condition and the inside reeked of fast food and those car air fresheners. The back had been hastily cleaned, with all sorts of junk including food crumbs, newspapers, water bottles, a homemade metal detector, and boots mostly pushed to the side Lyn was on.

On occasion, he would accuse Lyn of being a slob, but now he thought better of it. Far better. If anything, she was a little messy. This was horrendous.

"Alright, buckle up! It's gonna be a bit of a ride," said Gumshoe, all too excitedly strumming the steering wheel.

Cringing, Lyn buckled in her seat belt. Not that she didn't usually do so, but the part where the belt connected with covered in some strange unidentifiable brown goop. Miles had lucked out, being nothing on his as he buckled up. Perhaps, it was karma.

Once everyone was situated, Gumshoe took off down the road a little faster than Miles would have liked.

"So, guys how's that couples life treating you, huh?" teased Maggey.

"Oh, peachy. It's such nice quality bonding moments like this, that make the experience so very worth it," the prosecutor remarked dryly folding his arms.

Lyn was starting to getting annoyed with him. Miles by far getting the better end of the deal at least being on the cleaner side of the car and he was still bitching about it? "Ya, it's super cool, Mags. I get to torment Miles every single day of the week and there's little he can do to stop it."

"Torment?" questioned Maggey. "Oh!...Are you guys into kinky stuff?"

Miles flushed a thousand shades of red glaring at Lyn. As usual, Lyn bust out laughing, though she had to admit she was a little embarrassed by the frankness of Maggey's question. "Oh, no it's nothing like that," she said. "I just like to tease him. It's a sign of my affection. Whereas other couples are probably normal and nice to each other, we thrive on annoying each other."

"I think you're just talking about you," Miles said.

"Don't lie," she smirked. "It's hypocritical."

"Hm, so what do you do?" asked Gumshoe. "Maggey's not usually happy when I bother her."

"Oh, let's see...the last thing I purposely did was take Miles' credit card and order a limited collector's edition of the Jammin' Ninja memorabilia DVD set."

"You did WHAT?! How much did that cost?! How dare you spend my credit card funds on such trash!"

"...Just kidding," Lyn grinned. "Ah, but it's not trash when you spend money on the Steel Samurai? Hypocriteeeeeee."

" _That_ is very different," he protested. Miles determined he'd better check is credit card statement when he returned home. Right now, he couldn't tell if she was being serious or not.

"But don't worry, the only thing I actually did was leave your socks in the freezer," she said.

"...Why would you do that?"

"Because, I wanted you to have literal cold feet."

"Woman..." he glared. Tomorrow he would be vicious. Tomorrow she would suffer...all in character, much like the polite facade he was putting on now. "...That's an act of war."

"Yup. I'll be waiting for your next move."

"Oh, I think I get it!" beamed Gumshoe, as he continued to drive down the intersection. "You amuse yourselves by provoking each other. It's a competition to see who can one up the other!"

Lyn's jaw dropped. Had she found a kindred soul in Gumshoe? "Yes! Exactly! To me, romance and war is the same thing!"

Miles covered his face with his hands. This wasn't happening. How could Gumshoe understand this weird dynamic they had going? He didn't want him to because he was certain that he was going to encourage Lyn to keep it up. They were only 10 minutes into ride. What more could possibly come?

"Maybe you guys could try it!" Lyn suggested, all to happy to drag someone else into her madness.

"Oh, I wish, but I have such bad luck, I'm sure that anything I did would go horrifically wrong," Maggey said. "Besides, I think I'm better off being nice to Gummy."

"Aw, thanks Maggey."

"Why can't you be nice like she is?"

"Because you're an arrogant man. You need someone to knock you down a peg!"

"Ah, my old man was a proponent of tough love. Good stuff that molded me into the man I am today," mused Gumshoe.

"Don't encourage her!" snapped Miles.

Lyn giggled quietly in the back, whilst looking at Miles. Today she was pushing all the right buttons.

Annoyed, Miles looked out the window to his right side. They were passing a few cars and entering on to the freeway. Wherever they were going, it was definitely not too close by, he determined.

"Detective Gumshoe, where are we going?" asked the demon prosecutor.

"I told you, sir! It's top secret! Prepare to have your mind blown!"

No dice. He wasn't going to reveal the location until they arrived. "Can you at least tell me how long it will take?"

"Yeah, yeah!" chimed in Lyn. "Are we there yet?"

"Hehe, well we won't arrive for another 40 minutes. That's as much of a hint as I'll give you!"

40 minutes?! He would have to suffer in this cramped, smelly, and junky car of Gumshoe's for that long? Wherever they were going had better worth it!

"Hey guys, how bout some tunes?" Gumshoe asked as he turned on the radio.

Oh boy, thought Miles. This was one of the problems with driving with other people. Their preference in music selection reigned supreme. That's why he enjoyed his car. He could listen to whatever he wanted without argument.

The man tinkered around with the stations until he found one that he liked.

"Oh!" Maggey said. "I haven't heard this is in ages!"

In response, Gumshoe cranked up the volume so everyone could hear...

 _Uh huh, life's like this_  
 _Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is_  
 _'Cause life's like this_  
 _Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is_

It was then Gumshoe and Maggey started to belt out the song together.

 _Chill out, what you yelling for?_  
 _Lay back, it's all been done before_  
 _And if, you could only let it be, you will see_  
 _I like, you the way you are_  
 _When we're, driving in your car_  
 _And you're, talking to me one on one but you become_

 _Somebody else_  
 _'Round everyone else_  
 _You're watching your back_  
 _Like you can't relax_  
 _You're trying to be cool_  
 _You look like a fool to me_  
 _Tell me_

 _Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?_  
 _I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated_  
 _Life's like this you_  
 _And you fall, and you crawl, and you break_  
 _And you take, what you get, and you turn it into_  
 _Honesty and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it_  
 _No, no, no..._

Miles and Lyn looked at each other.

Miles looked appalled, due to Gumshoe's scratchy deep voice singing to Avril Lavigne's high pitched range. Whereas Lyn was more confused that this was a song he clearly liked. But Maggey was having fun and she didn't mind Gumshoe's bad singing. It was a pity they couldn't hear her more than the detective.

It was duly noted between the two of them through whispers, that if they were ever invited to karaoke by them, they'd decline with some poor excuse.

 _..._ _Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?_  
 _I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated_  
 _Life's like this you_  
 _And you fall, and you crawl, and you break_  
 _And you take, what you get, and you turn it into_  
 _Honesty and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it_  
 _No, no, no_

Miles leaned his head against the door frame, relieved that the couple's performance had come to an end. He just had to pray that no more songs would come on that they liked to prevent anymore musical numbers.

But he spoke too soon, for once _Complicated_ ended, another more menacing song began with its haunting piano part...

"Omg I love this song! Crank it up, Gumshoe!" said Lyn.

He didn't think it possible, but the radio became even louder than before. The bass was blaring. And everyone except him started dramatically singing:

 _(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit lonely_  
 _And you're never coming 'round_  
 _(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit tired_  
 _Of listening to the sound of my tears_  
 _(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit nervous_  
 _That the best of all the years have gone by_  
 _(Turn around) every now and then I get a little bit terrified_  
 _And then I see the look in your eyes_  
 _(Turn around, bright eyes) every now and then I fall apart_  
 _(Turn around, bright eyes) every now and then I fall apart_

God, he hated this stupid song. It was over the top and brought out how over the top and hammy people could be. Plus those cheesy 80 sounds got on his nerves. And beyond that, the video was creepy.

 _And I need you now tonight_  
 _And I need you more than ever_  
 _And if you only hold me tight_  
 _We'll be holding on forever_  
 _And we'll only be making it right_  
 _'Cause we'll never be wrong_  
 _Together we can take it to the end of the line_  
 _Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time (all of the time)_  
 _I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark_  
 _We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks_  
 _I really need you tonight_  
 _Forever's gonna start tonight_  
 _Forever's gonna start tonight..._

If there was a way for someone to turn their ears off he would have done so. Sadly, all he could was listen in agony to the three out of tune and key singers, belt out notes no way they could ever hit unless they were trained by an opera singer for half of their life. His only defense was covering his ears with his hands to no avail. It was pointless, he knew to try to do ignore it, but Lyn had to make it far more difficult by dramatically gesturing at him and grabbing his arms and touching his legs. If he hadn't been so intent on covering his ears or worried about being in the presence of Gumshoe and Maggey he most likely would have locked her into a wrestling hold at this point.

On the plus side, there were only 33 more minutes of this. But it also meant a half an hour more of songs.

Wherever they were going...it had better be worth it.


	5. The Rhinestone Cowboy

_AN: Back for some more fun!_

 _Jack54311: Poor Miles, indeed! And I'm sure it'll only get worse for him hehe. But it also means his revenge will be sweet..._

 _JordanPhoenix: Thanks as always for reading! Omg that was a great parody lol. Like pretty much all of Weird Al's stuff. I love Total Eclipse, but the video has always been a wtf fest haha. I don't know if you've ever heard of literal videos, but if you haven't you should check them out because they do a good job of making fun of bizarre videos including that one. Well stay tuned to find out what new craziness awaits muahaha..._

 _Annoying Guest: But you read anyway lol. That was the hope when I wrote that first chapter haha._

* * *

The ride continued on. Luckily, and it was a small stroke of luck for Miles, the station decided to play music from time to time that wasn't reminiscent of a bunch of intoxicated morons at a bar.

He was more an easy listener type of a guy and because of that he didn't mind when he was rescued by the onslaught over the top singing when "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch came on.

People could say whatever they wanted about his like of pop music, but it mattered little to him.

It was a polished a production, her voice was light and airy which lended itself well to just about any type of instrumental backing. He even liked it when she did that one song with Santana and he wasn't even into rock music much.

But make no mistake. Miles Edgeworth couldn't stand particular artists under the pop label. Keep anything One Direction, Carly Rae Jepsen, and Shawn Mendes away from him at all costs.

The next song came on and yet again, he was relieved once he heard a gentler sound.

 _I'm hurting, baby, I'm broken down_  
 _I need your loving, loving_  
 _I need it now_  
 _When I'm without you_  
 _I'm something weak_  
 _You got me begging, begging_  
 _I'm on my knees_

 _I don't wanna be needing your love_  
 _I just wanna be deep in your love_  
 _And it's killing me when you're away, ooh, baby,_  
 _'Cause I really don't care where you are_  
 _I just wanna be there where you are_  
 _And I gotta get one little taste_

 _Your sugar_  
 _Yes, please_  
 _Won't you come and put it down on me?_  
 _I'm right here, 'cause I need_  
 _Little love, a little sympathy_  
 _Yeah, you show me good loving_  
 _Make it alright_  
 _Need a little sweetness in my life_  
 _Your sugar_  
 _Yes, please_  
 _Won't you come and put it down on me?_

Ah, Maroon 5. He had mixed feelings about them now, considering so many of their songs were just becoming like everyone else's. But every now and then he didn't mind some of their stuff. Though, he would sometimes, though it was more often than not if we were being realistic, like to think of himself beyond tastes of the masses, he agreed that the music company had sucked their souls out after their first commercial success. That album had a unique sound. Yet over time that special sound was lost the same old garbage that is a part of 40 songs now. It should have been expected, considering what companies do to their artists in order to keep trending.

Regardless, he hummed the parts to himself, tapping a foot in time with the rhythm of the song as it continued.

Lyn noticed how Miles' demeanor had changed slightly whenever certain songs would come on the radio. He seemed to relax more, even in this car he thought to be disgusting, trapped with Gumshoe on some mystery trip on a early Saturday morning. She couldn't help but watch the prosecutor intently as a result.

"What?" He asked with a slight flush, noticing her scrutiny of his person. "It's one of their good songs."

"I didn't say it wasn't," Lyn grinned. "I just didn't know you were such a romantic, Miles."

"I just like the sound, I don't really pay attention to the lyrics."

But Lyn knew that a person's taste in music could reveal a lot of their personality. And as it turned out, mister big and strong was a lot more sensitive than he let on. For all the songs he favored, were of a calmer gentler variety. She was surprised, for that she thought most of the stuff he liked he would have called dribble. She thought that for the von Karma upbringing he would have liked, something like classical being all uptight.

He had feared judgement from her, but she was more curious than anything else.

"Oh, that's too bad," she grinned. "I think it's sweet."

His eyes widened if only for a second before he grumbled something incoherent, turning away from her to stare out of the window instead. Lyn could only shake her head. Because he was so self contained she wouldn't have guessed. But it was part of the fun of being around him in the end, that there were so many thing she didn't know about him and continued to learn regularly.

He continued to muse on about the history of American pop music quietly to himself as some bland songs played in the background against the chatter of Gumshoe, Maggey, and Lyn. For some time he felt like he had found some kind of peace in this trip to destination somewhere...but not for long. He was ripped from his mental cavern into the awful reality of this car ride from hell as soon as he heard:

 _Just a small town girl_  
 _Livin' in a lonely world_  
 _She took the midnight train goin' anywhere_

"Ah!" said Maggey. "Let's hear it!"

Gumshoe complied excitedly as he turned the knob of the radio up loud, so loud one could feel the bass reverberating through the car. Lyn jolted upright in her seat, eyes glistening in jubilation. Together all three of them, went to town...

 _Just a city boy_  
 _Born and raised in South Detroit_  
 _He took the midnight train goin' anywhere_

 _A singer in a smokey room_  
 _The smell of wine and cheap perfume_  
 _For a smile they can share the night_  
 _It goes on and on, and on, and on_

 _Strangers waiting_  
 _Up and down the boulevard_  
 _Their shadows searching in the night..._

It would be too good to be true to only listen to the classic recording without a bunch of idiots screaming along with it out of key, but fate was unkind to Miles. He wanted to like this song. Truly, he did. But- this was the song everyone HAD to decimate. Whether they were drunk, sober, obnoxious usually or well tempered...no matter who it was, this song just turned people into animals. Untamable beasts.

Of course, Gumshoe, Maggey, and Lyn were oblivious to his irritation, or perhaps Lyn wasn't, but was rather basking in glory of having fun AND annoying Miles at the same time.

Damn you, Journey, Miles thought sourly.

They all continued in a mix of wailing, yelling, and screeching in a boorish manner that was like listening to nails on a chalkboard. Miles sunk into his seat and covered his ears, once again in a feeble hope to drown it all out.

 _...Don't stop believin'_  
 _Hold on to that feelin'_  
 _Streetlight people_

With time, they tired out after the last chorus began to fade out. "Don't Stop Believin"? Miles had already stopped believing that this day would be anything remotely enjoyable for him. His ears were already pained and he still had no idea where they were going. He wondered what the Steel Samurai would have done in a moment like this, and determined his hero probably would have endured honorably as much as he liked to believe he would have attacked them with his powerful Samurai spear.

Luckily, the drive only continued on for about 5 more minutes. They had pulled off of the freeway, down a street, and into a massive parking lot swimming with insane amounts of vehicles. However, it didn't take Gumshoe too long to grab a spot as there were many available though, not as close to the entrance, as Miles struggled to make out from his seat in the car.

Wherever this was, this seemed to be what Gumshoe had wanted. While, Miles had a momentary burst of excitement, happy that this trip was finally over, it quickly faded as he spotted the giant sign for the entrance to whatever this place was.

"We're here, folks!" said Gumshoe.

"...Wild West World?" the demon prosecutor asked, staring at the old fashioned looking wooden plank with the lettering etched into it. "What on earth is this?"

"Huh? How could you not know, sir? It's the hottest new theme park around!" exclaimed the detective as he finished parking. "As much as I like Gatewater Land, they're a bit pricy... and its nowhere near as magical as Wild West World!"

"So, it's a western themed amusement park?" Lyn asked.

"That's right!" nodded Maggey. "It looks like a lot of fun! I hear you can ride actual horses and ponies!"

"Oh, uh, I bet it's tons of fun!" lied Lyn through her teeth. She did her best to muster some kind of enthusiasm for this place since it seemed Gumshoe and Maggey were hyped. However, she'd much rather be going to Gatewater Land to be honest. A western themed park didn't make her light up on the inside. Perhaps, if the park were ninja themed or something it would. In fact, she was certain there was a Steel Samurai theme park in the process of being built, but unfortunately it wasn't ready yet. If it was, she'd more willingly attend that, than...this.

Miles felt no different. He felt duped. He gave up his Saturday morning and probably day to attend some theme park. Not a regular theme park, but a western? Lords help him. He wasn't much of a fan of amusement parks in general and was rather annoyed by them after the whole kidnapping and ransom debacle at the Gatewater Land. But what on earth would they do there? Would they shoot each other with guns for entertainment? As far as he knew that's what life back then was, if the television program, "The Rifleman" could be trusted.

Also, hottest new theme park? Miles hadn't heard anything about it or seen anything in the papers or news stories. Looking at the size of the parking lot, half filled, Miles assumed that this wasn't as big and hot as Gumshoe would have him believe. This place just looking at the sign made him feel like Gumshoe had led them all astray into a bootleg, hole in the wall establishment.

"Well, don't just sit around all day like bumps on logs!" barked Gumshoe as he jumped out of the car, grabbing the bag of food Lyn had gave him. Maggey did likewise.

The demon prosecutor shot a glare at Lyn, so piercing she might as well had been skewered with a spear. Lyn was unphased by the looking, rather accepting of it. She was starting to blame herself for falling for Gumshoe's innocent charm...

"Tomorrow."

Lyn knew she was going to be in some deep shit tomorrow. But tomorrow wasn't here yet.

"Let's figure out how we'll survive today, first," Lyn deflected. She frowned as she unbuckled her belt, wiping the mystery substance from the buckle she felt once more on the weathered interior of the car.

Miles followed suit and undid his belt. "I suppose we could decrease the amount of suffering between us."

"Really?" she asked feeling a wave of relief. "Please, let's not make this any worse than need be."

"But again, it's just a temporary truce. We wouldn't be here if not for you anyway," he said as he opened the car door, stepping out.

Someone knows how to hold a grudge, she thought as she slid out of the car and into the bright sunlight.

Gumshoe locked the car, after the deadpan snarker and court jester left the vehicle. Though, anyone would want to steal this car would be criminally insane, thought Miles.

"You two move too slow!" he stomped.

"Well, it's probably because they're only lawyers," Maggey teased.

"Ha!" the detective laughed. "They don't have all the same physical stamina as us cops."

"I'm right here, you know," Miles said tapping a finger on a folded arm. "And I bet, I could beat you in a race."

"Then let's do it, right here and now, Mr. Edgeworth!" Gumshoe beamed. He quickly shoved the food items into Maggey's arms. "Let's race up until the entrance. Whoever, crosses it first wins!"

There was a brief hesitation from the prosecutor, but he felt he had already reached a point of no return. He might as well. "...Hmph, fine by me. It should be easy enough," scoffed Miles.

Oh no. The competitive side of Miles was coming out amidst the irritation. Lyn knew that this might not be a good mix.

"On the count of 3! 1...2...3!"

The two men, or man children, took off, both sprinting away towards the entrance from the decent sized parking lot at full speed. One part of Lyn couldn't believe Miles was racing with Gumshoe, while the other part totally believed it. Either way, she affirmed that it was a ridiculous sight. Maggey looked on, cheering for Gumshoe the whole time.

"Woo! Go Gummy!"

Lyn didn't care who won, and refused to root for Miles because it would amuse her to see him lose.

"Yeah! You can do it, detective!" Lyn laughed, stirring the pot. She knew that Miles hated when she sided with other people opposed to him.

Maggey cocked her head at the woman. "Huh? Is this part of your game?"

"...Nope. I'm actually more annoyed with Miles. So, I hope Gumshoe wins," she said. It would be nice to see Gumshoe beat Edgeworth at something. Like, that would be incredible to see...even if it was as mundane or childish as a sprint to the finish line.

As soon as Lyn began cheering alongside Maggey for Gumshoe, Miles twitched in disbelief and irritation. How could she root for the man who caused their torture over _him_? It was silly, but the prosecutor felt betrayed. The rallying cries for the detective seemed to boost his spirits as he started to gain an edge over the prosecutor. Miles reacted by pushing himself harder so he could meet the detective's pace.

The pair were only a few feet away. They were neck and neck, until they ran under the entrance's sign, which ended in a tie.

"Ha...ha...well, not too bad, sir!" huffed Gumshoe as he doubled over.

Though it ended in a tie, Miles was dissatisfied. He wanted total victory in any competitive circumstance. "Hmph...I would perhaps say the same to you, though I would hope you'd be more in shape since you need to be able to give chase, detective."

Gumshoe awkwardly flushed in response. "Er, well...let's see the park entry fees!"

Before Miles could say a word, the detective trotted over closer to the ticketing booth, where a line of about 30 to 40 people had formed. He smirked, satisfied to have picked on the larger man to some degree.

"So who won?" asked Lyn approaching him with Maggey.

"It was a tie."

"Aw, that stinks. I wanted him to wipe the floor with you," she said in mock disappointment. "Maybe next time..."

"Yeah, there's always a next time!" said Maggey fired up.

He opted to ignore how they both were putting him down. It just meant that he'd have to win everything all day. Keeping the thought to himself, he directed everyone to the ticket line where Gumshoe was waiting. He figured it'd be best to get this...adventure started so it could be over as soon as possible.

They waited for about 15 minutes before they were midway through the line.

"I wish it were faster," complained Lyn folding her arms.

"Me too! I'm starting to get hungry," Gumshoe agreed.

"Oh? Then why don't you have the meal I brought you?" Lyn suggested all too innocently. This would be the perfect moment.

"That's food? Sweet! Thanks so much, Ms. Doom!" he beamed as he asked Maggey to give him the bag. Without any hesitation, Gumshoe tore open the bag and took out the McDonald's box and Pepsi.

Miles watched as Lyn eyed Gumshoe, waiting for the payoff. She looked like an evil mastermind waiting to see the hero get blown to bits from an evil surprise. But the detective was too focused on his hunger to notice.

The man opened the box. His face which had been ecstatic, instantly drooped. "This...this isn't McDonald's," he frowned. "How could you give me..."

Lyn started giggling up a storm. Maggey and Miles quickly looked at the contents of the box. It revealed nothing more than some slightly browning lettuce and squishy looking cherry tomatoes. This looked like something that could have resembled a salad...if it was rotting.

What a cruel mistress, Miles thought, although this was in mild amusement. She really knew how to hit below the belt. If there was anything Gumshoe would get excited about, it was food. Especially food that was free.

"Aw, that's not nice, Lyn!" Maggey chastised. She gave Gumshoe an arm rub. "It's okay, we can get McDonald's later!"

"Really? Alright!" he rebounded just like a kid. "Nice try, Ms. Doom, but you can't hold me back so easily haha!"

"Oh no, seems my master plan has backfired. Whatever shall I do...?" she said blankly, though Miles saw the excitement burning in her eyes. There was something still to come.

"Admit defeat, from Dick Gumshoe," he grinned throwing the box back in the bag hastily. Miles noticed he hadn't disposed of the soda and that's where Lyn's eyes were lingering. "Nothing you do will stop me!"

Foolishly, the detective tempted fate by unscrewing the top to the soda. Brown sticky liquid exploded from the bottle like a volcano, not only splashing Gumshoe directly, but Maggey too.

"Ack!"

"HAHA! Well I got you! Nothing can stop Pepsi and Mentos," the troll laughed.

"I'm soaking wet! AND sticky!" Angrily, Maggey punched Lyn in the arm.

That didn't deter her from laughing, although she winced in pain. Lyn guessed the roller derby stuff Maggey did made her stronger. Or maybe it was just Maggey's rage. It was hard to tell.

"Ah, the looks on your faces were priceless," she said rubbing her probably bruised arm.

"I'm sorry on her behalf," said Miles. "She likes to create messes, but she'll be getting her proper punishment for everything tomorrow," he assured Maggey.

Lyn started to sulk at those words. Way to ruin the mood, she thought. It was just a harmless joke. She'd be splashed with soda before by friends and even tricked into eating cat food once. Surely a little liquid wouldn't be the end of the world.

"I hope so," Maggey said calmed down, but still rather annoyed.

"Well, ya got me in the end, I guess," said Gumshoe scratching the back of his head. "Haven't stained anything this bad since I dropped my Chinese food all over my lap."

Perhaps, Miles thought, he should invest in getting the detective a set of handkerchiefs...or some bibs. "Since these shenanigans are out of the way, the line is moving."

Indeed it was. The line was dwindling down, moving onwards a bit faster than anticipated. The sticky couple moved ahead first, while the mostly unscathed couple walked behind them.

"So what did you think?" the girl asked quietly. "Impressed?"

Miles rolled his eyes. "Yes, quite impressed that you resorted to a childish move on your part."

"Childish?" she pouted, unhappy at that wording. "Mentos in soda is a CLASSIC!"

"...Right."

Though, he wouldn't admit it to her face, he did find it a nice change of pace that someone else was the victim in her prank schemes. It was a nice bonus that it was Gumshoe for in a way, it was payback for this and all of the other stupid situations the detective dragged him into.

"Hmph," Lyn said as she adjusted her glasses. "Fine. I guess I'll find someone who has a real sense of humor instead."

The demon prosecutor would have told her not in a million years, but they found themselves only a few people behind the ticket counter. Not too long after Gumshoe and Maggey got their tickets and waited for the two of them beyond the entry gate.

Inside the booth behind the glass was a pale teen, wearing a cowboy hat, a fake mustache, a long white shirt, and a brown vest. Miles and Lyn stepped up to the booth together. The boy, unenthused he began the procedure. "Welcome to Wild West World. A world of excitement, adventure, shoot em ups, and blow em downs! Tickets for two?"

"Yes," said Miles as he took out his debit card.

The boy typed quickly on the register which read: 1 adult and 1 child pass, priced $62.

"H-huh? Wait a second-"

Miles smirked, doing his best to not openly laugh, as he covered Lyn's mouth. He knew Lyn looked rather young, but he didn't think it was enough to pass for a child. Perhaps it was her height? A lot kids, were already 5'3 at 9 years old. His troublemaker clearly never surpassed that, remaining short into adulthood. But he supposed it didn't matter. She _did_ act like a child, so it was only fitting. And more fitting that he didn't pay the full 80 bucks to enter this sham of a park.

"Hm? There a problem?" he asked lazily.

"No, not at all," Miles said removing his hands. He reached into his pocket for his wallet. "She...just gets over excited at these theme parks. I didn't want her to yell in your ears."

Lyn forcefully stomped on Miles' foot. How could she be mistaken for a kid at this point?! She had boobs now! Swinging hips! ...Or at least she thought she did.

Miles didn't react, though he felt her foot on top of his. The teen in the booth shrugged thinking little of the display. "Ah, okay. That'll be $62."

The prosecutor passed him his card and the transaction went through smoothly. The teen returned his card and handed him a receipt.

"Have a good time at the park, squirt," the teen said looking at Lyn.

Lyn responded with a mock smile, before rolling her eyes as she walked away. Miles once safely out of the range of the ticket booth and past the entry gates started laughing aloud.

"Shut up..." she muttered. "How could you be so mean?!"

"It's okay, 'squirt'," he smirked. "We only used your childish ways to our advantage."

Before she could retort, Gumshoe and Maggey found the pair and asked where they should go first. Looking around, at least from the entrance, it appeared this place was trying it's hardest to look like a western flick. The sun was shining down, the dirt ground as tumbleweeds rolled in the light breeze. There were some cacti planted along with some vulture dolls and skulls nearby. The buildings or rides, looked like a little town. There was one clearly labeled saloon, where Miles assumed was the location people grabbed food.

"Well, if you said you were hungry, why don't we venture into the saloon?" the prosecutor asked.

"Yeehaw!" said Maggey, with a grin. Well, at least someone here was excited, Miles thought. "Let's go!"

Gumshoe, happy at the notion of a real meal, took Maggey by the hand as they walked to their destination. Lyn smiled to herself. They did look really cute together. If anyone could handle a dork like Gumshoe and a bad luck queen like Maggey...yeah. It seemed like they had found their perfect matches.

Miles and Lyn followed behind the pair a few feet away at their own pace. The girl kept looking at Miles' hand, wondering if she should try to grab it. They hadn't really held hands as a couple before. Would it be too soon to try it? It seemed weird to her that she was kinda nervous about it, for Miles was either a yes or no type of guy. He'd either go for it or tell her no, point blank. Gulping, she slowly inched over to him as they walked, closing the distance as her smaller hand reached for his.

"Hm?" he felt the soft and small hand take hold of his own.

She couldn't bring herself to look at him in the eye. "Um, is that okay...?"

Miles honestly wasn't a huge fan of PDA. He would tolerate it in small doses, when he was in open to it. He cared little for what others did, as it was their personal choice, but sometimes the public displays would make him ill. It just reeked of disgusting sugary sweethearts and this...exhibitionist desire to be seen by the entire world. He wasn't comfortable with such pompous behavior. He was very private. And he believed that such things should be done in private without prying eyes. It was more intimate that way, after all.

Honestly, besides a couple of weeks ago when he had to take Lyn by the hand after she so boldly asked to spend the night at his place, he hadn't held anyone's hand in ages. Not since childhood.

Miles had every right to say no, considering how she had gotten them in this to begin with, but seeing how nervous she was at the action, he decided to not be so harsh. He would just save it for later.

The demon prosecutor nodded and held her hand a bit tighter without saying a word. Lyn seemed to relax, grateful that she didn't bother him and make a fool of herself. In a couple of minutes they pushed through the swinging doors of the saloon.

Inside, the saloon was quite spacious. There were many hungry patrons already inside eating on these circular tables with chairs designed to look like barrels or at the bar. The place was almost a hundred percent wooden, minus the light fixtures and sounds of the radio, playing some western tunes. Even though it was bright as the dickens outside, inside the saloon was dimly lit. A person couldn't see really see the numerous amount of pictures they had plastered all over the walls and pillars with ease. However, anyone could see the absurd amount of deer head mantle pieces hanging everywhere...as well as the shotgun over the bar. Miles shook his head at the interior design. The place was tacky and cluttered to boot.

Up by the bar, the menu was up on the board. And what a menu. It only offered a few things: cheeseburger, pizza, elk steak, molasses soda, s'mores in a can, and...baked beans? What in God's name was this, Miles thought to himself. He knew amusement parks offered terrible artery clogging food, but he found it weird that they were trying to...spice up this selection? Yes, it was a western theme, but why not either stick to standard amusement park food or a specialized theme?

Honestly, nothing was appealing to him in the slightest. He looked around the establishment, glancing at what people were eating. The prosecutor winced, looking at the amount of burgers and pizzas on tables that were swimming in a grease sea. If only Gordon Ramsay could be sent to places like this...

Before Miles could further get lost in his own mind, Gumshoe insisted they sit at the barrel chairs at the round tables on the floor. The place wasn't a formal restaurant (thank God), so they could sit wherever they pleased.

"Wahoo!" as he managed to not only fit himself on the chair, but also spin it around. "These chairs are awesome! They're sorta like the ones I designed when I was a kid."

"Yeah? Why don't you start a business inventing things?" Lyn asked, rocking her seat back and forth. But not for long as she kept bumping into Miles, and he gave her the look of a mother who was about to decimate her kids.

"I've told you, you should try it," said Maggey. "You'd never have to worry about your salary being cut again!"

It was ironic to Miles how Gumshoe often had seemed foolish, but could somehow wrack his brains together to create things like that homemade metal detector.

"Naw, it's just a hobby! My real job is being a detective," he grinned.

If there was any further conversation, Miles wasn't listening it as he debated what horrible meal item he was getting. Unlike Lyn and the other people at the table, he was not a huge fan of trash food. Even if he was, the amounts of grease he saw was sickening. It gave him high cholesterol just looking it. Plus, he refused to stain his clothes. Grease was impossible to get out. Which left him with two other abysmal options...

The waitress appeared before them, in an outfit just as cheesy as the decor of the establishment. Her blond hair was tied into two long braids as she wore a brown cowboy hat. The orange tartan shirt showed off her midriff. She reached into the pocket of her jean short shorts, to pull out her notepad and pen.

"Hiya, folks. How ya'll doing today? Name's Max," she said with a fake southern drawl. "What can I get for ya'll today?"

Gumshoe instantly perked up. "We," he started looking at Maggey. "are getting two cheeseburgers."

"I want pizza!" Lyn said excitedly. To her, you could never ever go wrong with pizza. Even the worst pizza, was still pizza. Miles rolled his eyes, typical Lyn.

"And for you, sire?" the waitress turned to him.

Damn. He tapped his finger on his folded arms. His two options were either the elk steak...or the baked beans. He wouldn't dare get something like elk at an amusement park. The prosecutor sighed to himself in defeat. "I guess, I'll be getting the baked beans."

Max nodded, as she jotted his order down. "I'll be back in a jiffy!"

She skipped off, allowing everyone to hear the jingles and clanks of her ugly cowboy boots hitting the floor.

Lyn smirked at Miles. "Dude, why'd you get baked beans?"

"Because there was nothing else off of this... _fascinating_ menu I'd dare taint my palette with."

She shook her head laughing. He was such a prissy snob sometimes. "Alright, just don't fart on me when you're done."

Under the table, Miles pinched the underside of her exposed leg. She was quite lucky he wasn't doing anything worse to her than that.

"Ow!"

"Ha, what are you talking about? Mr. Edgeworth doesn't fart," said Gumshoe grinning. "He doesn't have time for that!"

The prosecutor turned a bright shade of pink in response. He glared at Lyn. "Even if I do, it's not as horrific as the time you cleared an entire room."

Ah, she should have known he'd bring that up. "Oof. I guess that's true..."

"You cleared an entire room?" asked Maggey, her mouth wide open. "What on earth did you eat to do that?"

"Two Taco Bell Chalupas...! I regret nothing minus the fact I couldn't reach the bathroom in time!"

Was the day over yet? Miles couldn't believe he was really here, listening to a conversation about body odors, in a mock saloon with a menu that includes baked beans for crying out loud. He thought of the many different ways he could spending his time, reading, studying, watching TV, even sleeping! And for the record, he'd never had that issue with baked beans despite the phrase. The prosecutor assumed it would be fine. And when he survived this travesty of a date, he'd go home and make himself real food.

When the food arrived, Miles wished he could of said it was a blessing, but it was far from. The only thing at the table that could be considered a God send was the water. The burgers looked like slabs of meat, dripping with grease all over the plates. The pizza was no better, expect for the fact that it had a lot of cheese...which was drowned in grease, falling apart. And his beans? He stared at them for the longest, simply amazed.

They sent him baked beans, in a can. Like, straight in a silver can with a spoon.

What was he? A hobo?!

But the others didn't seem to notice, happily eating their blood pressure rising food no problem. Grudgingly, he dug his spoon into the can of beans before shoving the food into his mouth...It wasn't bad. It tasted, like, well baked beans. As unclassy as it looked, at least it wasn't covering his clothes in greasy stains that would be impossible to remove.

In about 15 minutes everyone finished and paid. At last, Miles was glad to be out of that strange place and into the park. Not that he was enthused or anything, it just meant that the sooner they visited the attractions, the sooner they'd go home.

"Oh, let's go to the maze!" said Maggey.

"Alright," Gumshoe nodded.

Lyn shuffled her feet. She had a poor sense of direction. She would probably get lost in a maze for way longer than whatever the standard time would be. "You guys do that! Me and Miles will do something else in the mean time. I'm pretty bad at stuff like that."

"Yes, she'd be trapped in there for a day, I bet," the demon prosecutor remarked dryly.

"Haha, okay. Let's catch up a little later then," Gumshoe suggested. "This place isn't too big so it should be easy to find each other."

"Sounds like a plan," Lyn agreed.

The two of them headed north up in the direction of the maze, while Lyn and Miles stood around under the heat of the sun.

"Well, what now?" Miles impatiently tapped his finger on his arm.

"Um, I dunno. Wanna...do lassoing?" she shrugged. She looked at the brochures that came with the entry passes earlier and the activities were...mostly not her thing.

Before Miles could reply with a usual snarky comment, he stomach began to cramp. Uh oh. It could be that those beans were actually deadly after all. "Before that, I need a restroom."

He snatched the brochure from Lyn's hands, quickly following the map in the direction of the nearest restroom. Surprised by the suddenness of movement, Lyn followed along behind him as best as her far shorter legs could carry her.

In a few minutes, Miles came to a grinding halt, looking at the nearly vacant spot in front of him. He viewed the map once more. This had to be the place for the bathroom. And yet, all he saw was essentially a wooden stall, just sitting out here in the dirt.

"Looking for a place to do your business, buddy?" asked an attendant dressed in a poofy shirt, chaps, boots and a vest.

"Yes, this is the bathroom?"

"Naw, this is the outhouse, man," the man said as he walked off.

An...outhouse? This "theme park" couldn't be real. They were taking the replication part of the theme way too seriously! This was absurd! And yet, the demon prosecutor's stomach was stirring him to make the ultimate move...in a mixture of shame, disappointment, and feelings of betrayals he ran up to the outhouse and swung the door open.

Lyn watched the display in mild amusement and shock. There was no way in hell she was using the bathroom today. With nothing else to do, she walked up closer to the outhouse and waited around for Miles hoping he wouldn't take too long.

Despite his stomach attacking him from the inside out, Miles hesitated looking at the state of the conditions inside the outhouse. The toilet seats were built into the wooden panels, as though one were stepping onto a stage. There was a trash barrel and a roll of toilet paper that was hanging above. The stench in the heat was sour and rank. And toilet seats looked unsanitary...If they wanted an outhouse, they could have made a modern one? Just who built this place? Did they have a brain?

Feeling yet another part of himself dying, he quickly grabbed toilet paper to place on the unholy toilet seat covers to sit on before he exploded. This was probably worse than any portapotty in the world, and that was saying something.

Jeez, what was taking so long, Lyn thought. Did those beans really do him in? If so, he was in worse shape than she was at the mansion. At least, the mansion was definitely clean. She knew Miles must be freaking out. He was a neat freak to a t.

It wasn't until 25 minutes later, the door to the outhouse swung open. Miles emerged like a man who's been beaten badly in battle and needed to retreat. Lyn felt bad for him, but at the same time, she found the scene hilarious.

"H-hey, are you alright?" she said trying to hide her laughter at his expense.

Miles grumbled something incoherent. She covered her mouth, but the giggles escaped.

The demonic prosecutor, glared at her. The nerve. He wouldn't be in this stupid park to begin with if it wasn't for her accepting this invitation. And she had to nerve to laugh at his suffering? He'd show her a thing or two.

Lyn found herself being dragged along by Miles to behind the outhouse. "What are you doing?"

He grabbed her and placed her in a headlock. "It's all so funny to you, hm?"

Uh oh. That was the tone of voice he used when he was coming to absolutely destroy her. "Funny? N-no! Not at all! Not funny!"

Without the watchful eyes of spectators, he could do what he'd been wanting to do for a while. In his grasp, she couldn't escape. He pinched and flicked her in all directions, watching her try to helplessly get away in amusement. When he grew bored of that, he put her on the ground and sat on her legs.

"Come on! I'm sorry for laughing! Please, don't do this..." Lyn pleaded, trying to push him off of her, for she knew exactly what was coming next.

Miles smirked. "If you find my suffering so humorous, I will take delight in your suffering as well," he said. "Now, keep laughing!"

"Ahhahahahahahahaha - s-stop ahahahaha!" Lyn tried to protest, but it was pointless. She couldn't move her legs, and trying to reach for him with her arms, he would just tickle under her armpits and neck, some of her most vulnerable spots.

Lyn laughed and laughed, still laughing even as she was getting more tired by the second. Tears were streaming down her face, she couldn't tell how long he'd been torturing her, but it had to have been at least over 5 minutes.

"C-come onahaha, I'm so-sorry ahahahahahahaha!"

He wasn't finished yet. "You don't sound all too apologetic."

This bastard! "Ah..sor...ry."

"What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"Wahahahaha! Sa aary! Ju-st stop! Stop ahaha...so I can say s-sorry! S-stop!"

Miles smirked, enjoying inflicting pain on his subject. He'd stop soon enough...when he felt she'd been punished the right amount.

"...Say, what's going on back here, pardner?"

Or perhaps, when he was interrupted.


	6. Locked Up

_DJJ680: Hahaha, the bass line plays as Miles looks nervous... Glad you enjoyed the karaoke lol._

 _Jack54311: His day just gets progressively worse xD. I think she deserved it, definitely. She's a brat haha. Same here! That chapter will be fun to write, since I got a few ideas lol._

 _JordanPhoenix: Omg I read your review and I'm crying lol. Maroon 5 was good and lucky! Wish I could catch Journey live. Haha, I actually don't mind Mendes I just feel Edgy would not be down for it xD. Hahaha God. He must fart in his own office...maybe silent ones lol. But my God, the image you painted in my mind...xD._

* * *

... That voice was vaguely familiar to Miles. Carefully, he turned his head around to view the source of the midrange drawl.

He was faced with a blue uniform, brown poncho, red bandana wrapped around the neck, cowboy hat, long haired...Jake Marshall.

It had been quite some time since the prosecutor had seen him. And while he wanted to say he was surprised to see him here, it might as well be a lie considering Jake Marshall loved cowboy culture more than anything. The only surprise was how he had caught him behind the outhouse with Lyn...

Miles took pause before answering. He knew how this must look. Lyn was under him panting, tears rolling down her cheeks, red in the face, messy hair and her shirt lifted up enough to see some of her pink sports bra.

The demon prosecutor flushed as climbed off of Lyn. He cleared his throat. "It's a long story-"

"Well, I'll be darned! It looks like it'd be a long one, seeing as how you got a young lady under you beggin' and pleadin' ya to stop!" the ex detective glared.

"Wait a moment! Let me explain. We were just playing around-"

"There's nothing to explain here, pardner!" he said taking a swig from his flask. "Even if you were playing around, this is a family friendly park! Beyond that this bambina was tellin' ya to knock it off!"

Lyn hid her smirk, as she tiredly got to her feet. If Miles got in a bit of trouble it would serve him right for tickling her to the point where she nearly peed herself.

Miles couldn't believe this. Was he really being mistaken for a perverted violating individual? Called out for inappropriate behavior by a man drinking out of a flask at that?!

"Lyn, can you please explain to him what is really happe-"

"Don't answer that, bambina. I don't want ya to feel pressured to say anything in his presence," on that note, he placed Lyn behind him in a protective stance. "To think that you of all people would sink so low. You're coming with me, pardner."

Marshall whipped out a pair of handcuffs and approached Miles.

"You can't be serious," Miles said.

"Are you resisting arrest?" Marshall asked him.

Okay. Now, Lyn thought that maybe this was starting to go a little too far.

"Hey, it's fine, really-"

"It's alright, bambina. I'll handle everything to secure your safety," he said placing a hand on his hat.

Miles rubbed his temples. It was clear Jake Marshall wasn't listening to anyone. And it was more clear if he continued to protest this, he'd have charges filed against him for resisting arrest...He sighed. He'd go with him for now and get everything straightened out sooner rather than later. Reluctantly, Miles extended both hands out.

Marshall slapped the cuffs on him without hesitation. "Now, lil missy, you stay here. I'm delivering this disgrace to the holding cell, so he won't bother you anymore. I'll be back faster than you can say cactus."

Lyn opened her mouth to protest, but Jake was already shoving Miles away into ...a holding cell?

There was a holding cell at this place? This was a weird ass amusement park. But beyond that, poor Miles...she actually, legitimately, without an ounce of trollishness felt sorry for her closest companion. If Miles wasn't going to decimate her before, he really was now. And Miles Edgeworth was no joke when he was angry, especially with her. She'd need to come up with an escape plan for tomorrow.

But when Jake came back, she'd definitely tell him that nothing was wrong and how Miles was actually a decent partner. Okay, better than decent. He put up with a lot of her foolishness and she acknowledged it. Yet, it was always a struggle to express it easily without feeling corny.

Miles, managed to shoot a final glance back at the wicked woman who started this whole fiasco to begin with. Why was everything she was involved with a mess? And why did it always impact him negatively? If Gumshoe had asked him personally, he would have found a perfectly valid excuse to politely turn this offer down. Or heck, maybe he would have suggested his own date idea.

But this ? This? He couldn't believe that he had spent his Saturday on this catastrophe.

It didn't take long to get to the location clearly labeled JAIL in large ugly white lettering sloppily painted on wooden board. It was farther down, past all the various attractions like the maze and mechanical bull ride.

Inside, all the demon prosecutor could really focus on were the black metallic bars to the jail cell as soon as he was pushed inside the jail, the size of a shed. Against the right side of the wall, hung numerous pairs of handcuffs, a set if keys, a clock, and plenty of yellowing most wanted posters. In front of the jail cell door, was a tiny wooden desk and chair, he supposed for the warden or whoever handled things in the western jail.

The ex detective wasted no time in unlocking the cell with a key on his person and shoving Miles inside. Just as fast, he locked the cell back. Still struggling to grasp the absurdity of the situation, Miles opted to sit on the bed, the only piece of furniture in the cell.

"Now, will you please listen to me?"

The detective wasn't paying him any mind however, as he frowned, looking at the vacant seat at the desk.

"That damned Oldbag," Marshall muttered to himself. "Away from her post as usual..."

Miles flinched. No. He didn't just hear the cursed name, Oldbag. She could not. Be. Here. Of. All. Places. As if his luck couldn't get any worse today.

"Sit tight, pardner," he huffed as he took out his knife, shaving the scruff on his neck. "I'm ridin' off to question the real star of the show. I'll be back to grill you later."

"Wait, you can't just leave me with-"

"Toodles," Jake said as he turned on his heels and casually strolled off out of the door to the jail.

He was left alone in total silence.

Dammit.

Miles knew he had to get out of here and as soon as possible. If Oldbag saw him behind these bars, who knows what horrors she'd try to subject him to. It was of the utmost, essential importance that he'd escape. But how? His hands were still cuffed and he had the extra bonus of being behind actual bars.

With any luck, if Lyn wasn't a terrible human being, and he was _mostly_ sure of this fact, perhaps she might be able to break through to Marshall somehow. And if not, he'd best pray that someone else besides Oldbag returns. Doing another glance around the room, he did notice some keys dangling from the same spot as some of those handcuffs. He guessed that at least one of those things would be his ticket to freedom. But again, he needed someone to let him out. With a sigh, he resigned himself to sitting on the bed which was as hard as a brick, praying for a miracle.

In about 5 minutes the cowboy cop, returned to Lyn who was anxiously pacing around the outhouse. She jumped up when she noticed him. "You're back!"

"Just like I promised, bambina."

"You gotta listen to me!" Lyn said gesturing with her hands wildly. "This is a mistake!"

"Woah, woah, easy now," he said taking a swig of his drink. "One thing at a time. First off, are ya alright? You're not hurt are ya?"

Lyn sighed. "No, I'm fine."

"I'm glad. I hate to see anyone get hurt, especially young girls."

She frowned internally. She understood that he was concerned for her wellbeing and all, but did she really look that young?

"So, can you tell me what exactly happened? What's your relationship to that prosecutor?"

"We weren't doing much of anything, I promise. I just sorta...made fun of him. And he got his revenge on me. By tickling me really hard for over 5 minutes. That's the _only_ thing that happened behind the outhouse," she said. "And um, I guess he's...my boyfriend now."

She flushed at saying it out loud for some reason. She didn't know why. They had just started dating, they had even surpassed 3rd base so...why was this so odd to say? Perhaps, she still couldn't really believe it.

"You guess?" Marshall pressed, with a grim expression.

"Ahh," she rubbed a hand on the back of her head. "S-sorry. Don't take that the wrong way. We just started dating...so it's kinda weird for me to say out loud to anyone. He's not forcing me to do anything. I was the one to drag here today anyway."

"...Alright," he said, shaving himself with his knife. "If that's what ya say, I'll believe ya."

"Yes! Please! He's not a bad guy. Sometimes he's really grumpy and a stick in the mud, but he wouldn't treat me bad."

Marshall tossed his knife into the air for a moment before putting it away.

"Fair enough. I'm gonna question him to see if this matches up. Otherwise, I'm glad there's nothing wrong. Ya can't help being suspicious of everything and everyone bein' a cop an all. Plus I've had people pretend that things were fine when they really weren't...but as long as there's no trouble between y'all, your pardner will be let out in no time."

Lyn smiled in relief. "Then can we go?"

The taller man nodded. "Ayup. You'll have to wait outside as I question, though."

She shrugged it off. That was fine. So long as he'd let Miles out, that's all that mattered.

Together they were on their way to the jail, but Lyn stopped dead in her tracks, fascinated.

"Woah! That looks awesome," she said staring at the most beautiful display she'd ever seen. It was essentially a western styled arena, with targets that popped up that you had to shoot, with what appeared to be a paint gun. The next half would be splitting people on teams to shoot each other down with paint guns.

"Ah, lookin' at the shootin range, bambina? It's a rowdy time in there."

"Is it? I wanna try! ...Though, I've never held any sorta gun, besides a laser gun anyway."

"It's easy peasy. Let me show you," he said flashing a charming smile, placing a hand on his hat. He gestured for her to follow him into the line of waiting patrons past the jail. Without hesitation, Lyn followed excitedly. She forgot how cool Jake Marshall was in the games. How could she pass up the chance to shoot stuff with him? No way in hell!

Unfortunately for Miles, Lyn and Jake were totally distracted by the notion of shooting things to come to his rescue for quite some time. So when the door the jail cell, opened he was faced with a strong mix of hope and fear, uncertain of who was coming from him.

Yet, it was none of the people whom he expected, that would lend to his freedom or doom. Who other to open the door and waltz in like she owned the place, other than that woman with the multiple boyfriends...Angel Starr.

He sighed a huge sigh of relief, now seeing that Oldbag was not the on entering the room.

She wore the same outfit she had worn in court the last he had seen of her. Black dress, the cleavage, white coat, rice ball hat, the basket full of lunch boxes looked at him with a cold smirk.

"Well, well, well. What do we have here? What's a little old prosecutor like yourself doing in this dingy old cell?"

"That cowboy obsessed cop, threw me in here because he mistakenly took me for some type of low life pervert. Which I am not, by the way."

Angel laughed. "Ah, I don't doubt it, hun. You have a stick wedged so far up your ass, I doubt you know anything about perversions of any kind."

He repressed his very strange urge to argue with her on that statement. Miles Edgeworth considered himself to be a gentleman publicly, but...something else entirely when it came to sex. But, not like this lady had any business knowing, so he kept it to himself.

"I wouldn't worry about it, though," she said flipping her hair revealing a kind smile. "Jake loves putting people behind bars here for all sorts of things. It's like a simulation for the real thing before he's reinstated as a detective in a couple months. I mean those handcuffs you're stuck with? Those are a kids toy."

"Ngh! A-are you serious? I'm just playing a role in his fantasy?"

"Mhhhhm," Angel said in a sing song tone. "Well, it was nice seeing you, but I have to go," she said waving curtly and turning around.

"Wait!" Miles called out without thinking.

"What is it?" she asked. "You want a lunch box?"

"No!" he shook his head furiously. "Listen. I need someone to let me out of here before that monster of a oldbag returns to her security post in here. If she sees me, I'm sure my life will come to an end."

Angel cocked her head back and laughed. She flipped her hair turning to a meaner expression. "Mr. Edgeworth has a thing for older ladies? Isn't that precious."

"Absolutely not," he grumbled. If anything that abomination had a thing for incredibly younger men, at least half a century younger. "Please. I will do anything to get out of this hovel."

The woman pursed her lips. "...Anything?"

Miles was going to regret this, obviously, but what could be worse than sitting here waiting for that...hideous woman to return here?

"Well, if you'll do anything," she flipped her hair, smiling sweetly. "There is one little, teeny, tiny thing you can do for me."

"What is it?"

"Well, even though I have an amazing amount of boyfriends, there's one I don't have, that being Jake."

"...And where do I come into this?" if he could have, he would have tapped his finger on his arm.

"I want you to become boyfriend number 396 to make Jake jealous."

Miles shook his head. "Why would that work? Haven't the other 395 made some sort of impression?"

She glared. "The difference is they are nowhere near as handsome nor accomplished as you."

This was ridiculous.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," he said. "I already have a partner, albeit an annoying one, but she's mine regardless."

"Oh?" she tilted her head in surprise. "I'm shocked. I always thought you were gay for that guy in the blue suit."

Miles wouldn't even respect that stupid idea with a response. The day he went gay for Wright would be the day that Larry gained a fully functioning brain.

"Well, if you want out of this cell, you'll have to oblige. After all, you said you'd do _anything_. Otherwise, I'm leaving."

"...Why do you want Jake in particular? You already have men lining up. What difference does it make?"

"You listen to me, buster. It makes a world of difference! I always had a thing for him, but of course, was dedicated to Lana. Now, that she's out of the picture, I thought I'd have my chance. But he's still hung up on her. And I'm going to fix that! He's going to see exactly what he's been missing out on!"

He sighed. "If I agree to your terms and conditions, just what do you plan to have me do to make him jealous? After all, I do have a girlfriend."

"Don't worry, we won't go too far. Only doing _couple_ activities," she smiled.

Miles didn't like the way that sounded a bit. It would be underhanded of him, but he thought about ditching her as soon she let him out of the cell. Yet, he was a man who kept his word... but only to a certain extent. Then again, he had a feeling this woman would make his life a living hell, if he tried to totally back out of this arrangement. He remembered her infamous nickname as the cough up queen, and wouldn't tempt it. But he had to escape Oldbag. That was a definite.

"...Alright," he sighed. "I'll do it. Now please, let me out of here."

"Aww, I'm so glad you decided to help boyfriend number 396!" Angel said cutely, as she grabbed the key to the cell that had been hanging up on the wall. Effortlessly, she picked the right key and delivered him from evil, probably into the hands of another evil. But beggars can't be choosers can they?

He walked out of the cell, with his hands up. "And these."

Smirking, the woman pulled out a bobby pin from in-between her assets, using it to successfully lock pick him out.

"I didn't know cops could lock pick."

"Oh, it's not from my experience as a cop, but some other extracurricular activities..." she winked.

He wouldn't press any further, for he certainly didn't want to know any details of her sexual escapades.

"Now, let's go, lover boy," she said as she shoved him hard on the back and out of the jail.

"Just where are we going?"

"To find Jake obviously!"

He'd probably find Lyn too. "Check behind the outhouse, he should be there."

With that, she grabbed his arm with the strength of a gorilla. "Let's go shall we?"

It was rare that Miles Edgeworth felt fear, but he certainly felt it now. Though, her demeanor was currently holding a cute smile, the tightening grip on his arm made him worry that the circulation would cut out at any minute.

He hoped this farce wouldn't last long. As soon as they found Jake, he'd excuse himself. But his hopes were trampled when they returned to the back of the outhouse and found nary a soul.

"But, where could they be now?" he had hoped that Lyn managed to clear things up with the cop to let him free, but he wouldn't have a clue as to where they went off to if it wasn't to the jail.

"Well, I suppose, we just have to look, don't we, sugar?"

He wished he could gag at her use of pet names but he had already spent most of his energy release on deadly fumes from that can of beans.

Thus, Angel continued to drag him around like she were showing off her most prized possession.

"God, can't you look a little more enthused?" she snapped.

"You wanted a 'boyfriend'. You never once specified a happy one."

"Well, get it together! I'll find that old witch if you don't make it convincing."

Nrgh...This was truly one of the worst days of his life.

The two of them wandered around pretending to be happy for a good 30 minutes. Until they discovered an interesting sight.

"There! He's over there!" Angel nearly screeched in his ear.

The man was returning from a food stand back over to the mechanical bull ride attraction where Lyn was waiting. The girl was happily watching the poor man on the bull fall off over and over, laughing sadistically at his plight. The man said said something to her that caught her attention as he passed her the popcorn. She looked surprised, as he said whatever it was he said, and then returned to watching the bull rides. The cowboy simply smiled and ruffled her hair.

What the hell? Why was Jake getting friendly with her like that? Miles wasn't a jealous man, or so he liked to tell himself, but the display aggravated him greatly. Who did this guy think he was? Locking him in that cartoon jail cell and then practically going on a date with his girlfriend, which is what Miles was supposed to be doing in the first place. And why was she going along with it? Why was she not trying to help get him out of the jail cell he was wrongly thrown into?

Before he had time to fully comprehend the scene in front of him, Angel yelled across the crowd. "Heeeeeey Jake!"

"What are you doing?" he asked lowly, nervous of what was coming next. Something had to follow such a brash move on her part. She now had the cowboy's attention. As Miles was about to ask again what was her plan, the next thing he knew, Angel pressed her large breasts up against his chest and kissed him roughly against the lips.

"Mmph!"

She pulled away from Miles, turning her attention back to Jake. "I have a new boyfriend, isn't he great?!"

Miles wiped the slimy cherry lipgloss off of his lips. There was only one way to describe that and it was simply foul. But it wasn't the only thing that was foul. Across the way the cowboy cop glaring at him. And what's more was that Lyn looked at him eyes as wide as saucers, slowly moving from shock to anger.

Oh, Jesus...

It was then he knew this day had moved from bad to worse.

Lyn was darting over there, around the stage area, right up to them. Marshall was following along behind her, but not nearly as fast. She pushed her way past other customers, marched directly up to them without breaking a sweat.

"Hey, what the hell did you say? That that's YOUR boyfriend?! He's mine!" Though she was shorter than Starr, it looked like Lyn could somehow tower over her, or perhaps it was just a projection of her anger rising up.

"Hm? That's your partner you mentioned? I'm surprised in your taste, honestly," Angel said looking at Miles. "Why not go for a real woman?"

Before Miles could open his mouth, Lyn snapped back.

"Excuse me? I'm right here, you cheap whore!"

"You little brat...If there's anything I am it's certainly not cheap!"

Without so much as a thought, Lyn reeled up her leg and kicked Angel right in the shin.

"Ack!" she winced. It had to have been a hard kick, considering the woman went right down to the ground.

"Serves you right!" Lyn said as she ran off in the opposite direction, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Lyn, wait!" called Miles.

Dammit. This stupid scheme had created a bigger mess. He was about to chase after her until Marshall appeared in front of him.

"Just what in tarnation is happenin' here?!" he demanded. "Why is Angel kissing you when your supposed to be with that bambina who just ran off?"

"Don't look at me," snapped Miles back. "It was your friend's idea for some kind of asinine ruse to seduce you!"

Marshall turned his attention to Angel, helping her off of the ground. "Is that true, Angel?"

"W-well," she began to sweat. "I want you, Jake!"

He shot an icy glare. "What ya just did was no good! And I already told you I ain't interested!"

"But-"

"Pardner," he said ignoring the cough up queen, who really did look like she was about to cough up something. "go find your lady. She was tellin' me the whole time how much she appreciates how good ya are to her, and I reckon she's hurting mighty bad right after seeing that."

Miles ran off without hesitation, leaving those idiots in the dust.

He wondered if that's what they had been talking about the entire time. Why she looked so happy...not because of Marshall, but because of him. But the prosecutor didn't have time to dwell on it now. He had to figure out where Lyn had gone first.

From the saloon, to the outhouse, the now malfunctioning roller coaster, the bumper cars, tilt a whirl, dunk tank, shooting range...he checked just about everywhere.

Everything except the maze, that is.

This had to be it. She had to be here, unless she had totally left the park somehow. Luckily, for Miles there wasn't a line to enter, so he simply waltzed in. The maze was dark, but had nothing but clear glass, which on occasion became hard to maneuver. But there were only so many ways one could walk through the maze, so Miles did his best to recall all the pathways he had tried moving forward.

Once he figured he was midway through the maze, he heard a faint sobbing. It was coming from the left side...

"Lyn?" he called out as he followed the sound of the voice to eventually reach a crevice in a corner. There she was sitting there with her face buried in her knees.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," he said bending over.

Cautiously, she raised her head up to look at him, but she refused to meet his gaze. "What do you want?"

"I want to explain everything-"

"Please go away," she murmured.

"Lyn..."

Wiping her eyes under her glasses she stood up and tried to walk past him. It was a rather unsuccessful attempt considering she walked right into a mirror wall.

"Grr! Stupid wall! I hate you! All of you," she scowled waving a fist at the glass.

He repressed a laugh. "How long have you been in here?"

"I dunno...A while," she muttered.

He had figured as much. She probably wasn't so much as going through the maze, but being stuck in this corner.

"Would you like to leave?"

The woman nodded.

Miles extended his hand to her, but she only stared at it.

He frowned slightly. "You're not going to stand here all day are you?"

"...I'll find my way out."

"You and I both know you won't," he said. "Please let me explain. If it's not to your liking I'll let you alone. If it is, we'll leave together."

Lyn folded arms. "...Okay."

"I didn't want to have any parts of that..harpy. But she was my only way of the jail cell. I would have most likely endured sitting in there, but a certain stalker of mine worked there, and there was no way I was staying there."

"But why...was she all over you? Why did she say you were _her_ boyfriend? Why did she shove her tongue down your throat?" she frowned.

"It was a part of her foolish idea to win that cowboy over. It was the only way she'd let me out of the cell, unfortunately," he said. "Believe me, I didn't enjoy any of it."

"It's all true...?"

"You know how much I hate lying."

She seemed a little more relieved, but not entirely. But she did trust him. And taking pause from heightened emotions, he knew he wasn't a man whore.

"You believe me, don't you?"

The woman nodded slowly, still wiping her eyes. "It's just...I'm good enough, right?"

He raised a brow. "Good enough for what?"

"To be...your girlfriend," she said nervously. It _was_ something she had legitimate concerns about, as much as she tried to burry it again and again. "That woman didn't believe me. And sometimes I really wonder if I really am g-"

"Lyn," he said gently, pulling her close. "You're not good enough, you're _more_ than enough for me."

At those words, she clung to him tightly, trying to hold back the rest of her tears, but failing miserably.

"There's no need for you to question that ever, especially not over someone like Angel Starr."

They stood like that for some time, her sobs subsiding. He was glad she finally calm. Though, arguably, this whole thing was Lyn's fault to begin with...but out of a kindness he needed to solve this problem first. The day of reckoning would be tomorrow and it was more important right now to ensure her that he wasn't running off with a bimbo who was the town's bicycle.

"Ewwwww," said a boy passing through. "Couples are gross!"

Miles shot the boy a nasty glare that probably would have shattered a mirror if he looked directly at it. The kid scurried out of the way as fast as his little legs could carry him.

Stupid brat, Miles thought.

But he figured it _was_ time to get out of here. He took a step back, giving her one last tender stroke down her arms. "Let's go. The day's not over yet."

Lyn sniffed. "What are we doing now...?" She knew he had every right to be annoyed and want to leave the park after this kind of day.

Oh, Miles hated this stupid park and everything it stood for, but he wasn't going until he did one thing.

"Plotting revenge, what else?"


	7. Taste of Vengeance

_AN: And we're back for the next installment! Hope it's as fun for you to read as it is as fun to write! What does Jake have in store for Miles? Stay tuned! Next chapter will be out soon! I just decided to split it up since it was pretty long..._

 _JordanPhoenix: Right? It's stupid considering Ema is still in use. I've been waiting for a chance to use the two of them so I was excited haha. For once, I don't blame her ;). Jake is a fine specimen haha. Yayyyyy! Glad you like it! I thought of the best comparison and I had to throw a Larry joke in there somewhere xD._

 _DJJ680: You got that right, pal! You never know when ADHD can strike._

 _Jack54311: Well, no matter how you cut it, someone's gonna get cut :D!_

 _MissBlueTip: Hehehe. Almost being key...Glad you're enjoying the ride!_

* * *

Miles was a man on a mission.

Not necessarily a noble mission, but one that would ease the pain of being in this phony amusement park, for amused he was not. With determination, he grabbed Lyn's hand to more quickly navigate their way out of the house of mirrors. There was no time to waste.

Once they were out and back into the burning sunlight that could eliminate any classic vampires and make any new ones sparkle like a glitter bomb, Miles was ruminating on the best course of action.

"Um, so what are you going to do for revenge?"

His arms were folded as he rhythmically tapped a finger on one.

He first and foremost wanted to get back at Jake for putting him in that ludicrous jail to begin with. If not for that, he could have at least tried and really tried to enjoy himself on some level. But instead he was locked in a cell and roped into a concubine's plan to win Marshall over. On top of that, he was not pleased that the man was essentially spending more time with his girlfriend than he did.

Second, was Angel Starr for forcing him to be her fake boyfriend and upset Lyn in the process.

Last, was Gumshoe for suggesting this terrible venue and causing him to miss out on a relaxing Saturday.

"I have one idea," Miles smirked. He looked around, surveying the environment to make sure none of the intended targets were anywhere near. No one but foolish park goers were in sight but just to be safe, he bent down and whispered into Lyn's ear.

Lyn's eyes widened at his words. "Miles...that's..."

He bowed. "You can say it's amazing."

She laughed and shook her head. "It's promising, but it needs extra oomph...how would you even get him over there anyway?"

He tapped a finger on his arm once more. She had a point. The target would need to be in the right spot...

"If you're open to suggestion, I have an idea," she grinned.

"I'm all ears," he smirked. If there was anyone that could come up with a terrible idea to torture others, it would be Lyn.

"How bout we take out Starr first?" Lyn suggested. She stood on her toes as she described her plot.

Miles had been right, Lyn was awful. That was far worse than anything he would have thought of...but he wouldn't stop her. However, he opted to not be a full part of the plan and leave most of it to Lyn...

"...If you think it will work, I have no protests. Though, what should we do for Gumshoe?" he asked arms folded. "I could opt to cut his salary, but it just isn't enough."

"Hmm...well, we can always get him back later. We still have that car ride back," Lyn said adjusting her glasses with an evil gleam in her eyes. "Let's focus on operation: SLUT!"

"Must you call it something so lacking in class?"

"Whatever, you're lucky I'm not calling it Operation: Titty Mcgee Goes To Pound Town!" the woman huffed.

Miles rubbed his temple. Sometimes he truly wondered what foul things happened inside Lyn's head. If ever given the chance to find out, he'd decline choosing to allow Pandora's box to forever remain locked. "...Let's just get the supplies first."

"Yay!"

Lyn was filled with exuberance. Miles had never willingly took part in any pranks with her, so this was going to be good. She was also informed of the extent of how mean he could be. Frankly, she was almost proud.

Hopping along, she bounced in the direction of the gift shop, that could be seen in the distance. Miles followed behind, keeping his eyes open in case they spotted either Jake or Angel.

In Miles' eyes, the inside of the gift shop looked better than the rest of the park. Of course, it was designed to look old fashioned, with the wooden panels and floor boards everywhere, but it was built with modern light fixtures, with neat and tidy displays of souvenirs that would put any supermarket display case to shame. There were T-Shirts, mugs, too many cowboy hats, keychains, toy cows, chickens, horses, puppets, chocolates... just where on earth were the pens?

"Ooo! It's so cute!" Lyn said looking at plushie chick at the other side of the room.

Oh no. He was going to lose her to stuffed animals. She denied it every time, but it was clear she liked small cute toys. Every time they'd go to the store together her eyes would be glued to those wide eyed fluffy little monstrosities. If she somehow think he didn't realize it by now she was more foolish than he once thought.

Amused, he came up behind her. "Do you want me to buy you one?"

"Really?" Lyn stopped on a dime, turning around. But then her face turned a dark shade of red. "Wait...I mean, w-what are you talking about? That's just something I'd give to a kid..."

Ah, the way her face contorted into having a singular hope that he would buy her a toy...it tickled him deeply. It was as bright as day she wanted one. Perhaps, he'd think about it later, though certainly not one from this abysmal establishment.

"In that case, we have work to do. We came in here for stationary."

"Right, right..." she sighed. She'd have to say goodbye to Mr. Chick for now, for the pursuit of...vengeance. Passing the yellow fluff balls, there were some bumper stickers, shot glasses, flasks, some notepad paper, branding sticks with an ink pad, and some crappy plastic pens.

Miles took a notepad and a pen pleased and moved on to the register. Lyn, however, saw an opportunity with the branding stick and picked it up grinning like an idiot. In the selection, they had a whole bunch of symbols and letters for them, so she picked up the ones she saw fit. She also realized she needed tape to stick her message, so she grabbed the cowboy tape dispenser too. Satisfied, she got in line behind Miles.

There was only one old man in front of him, buying a whole bunch of memorabilia. It looked like he was cleaning out the store with the amount of crap on the counter.

Noticing Lyn behind him, Miles turned around. "Why did you get those?"

"You'll see."

Miles shook his head. She seemed all too happy with those branding sticks. It seemed that Starr had it coming big time. But it was her fault for dragging him into some love plot. After 5 minutes of scanning items, the old man in front of Miles finally left with a hefty bag of junk. In the essence of time, Miles took the sticks and ink pads from Lyn and paid for them himself.

"Heyyy, you didn't have to pay," she pouted as they walked out of the shop.

The demon prosecutor shrugged. "It's fine. I'm cutting down time before the sun sets."

"But you rarely let me pay for anything."

"Well this was supposed to be a date. And besides," he said lowly, as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You'll be paying up tomorrow."

She started to sweat bullets. The way he said that sent shivers and goosebumps down her spine. It felt as though a snake with slithering down her body. "Urp..."

Satisfied with how scared she was, Miles changed the subject. "So, what else do we need?"

"Ummm, so we have to get milk, paint guns, handcuffs," Lyn said wiping her lenses on her shirt.

"Are you sure they even have milk here?" he questioned. Nothing was listed on the menu in the subpar saloon.

"Pfft. Dude, milk is always on the menu. Besides. I saw a cow in the petting zoo earlier!"

"If you say so," he said. "In that case, I'm going to locate milk. In the meantime, you can grab the cuffs from the jail. We can meet up at the shooting range to take the paint guns."

"Yes, sir," Lyn saluted sarcastically as she walked off. If there was anything Miles Edgeworth was great at, she thought, it was definitely being bossy. But she didn't expect anything different from Mr. Alpha male. Besides, it was a secret mission to be completed now!

Miles rolled his eyes as she walked away. She just didn't like how he often times had more clarity in planning and organization than she did. Sighing, he figured he'd best get started in finding milk around here.

Since the petting zoo wasn't too far away from him, Miles decided to check there first.

The petting zoo was a decent sized patch of grassy land, with a handful of goats, cows, sheep, chickens, and pigs. He felt like an outsider standing around considering the massive amount of parents with their small children running around petting animals. It made sense considering a 3 year old would be entertained by this for a while...and maybe Lyn.

Since the animals were fenced in, one couldn't get too up close and personal. But not like Miles was going to milk any cows or goats. After waiting around for some time, he managed to spot a staff member dressed up as a cowboy feeding chickens, with a piece of straw hanging out of his mouth.

"Excuse me," Miles called from over the fence.

"Huuu? Whatchu want wit' me?"

Such quality customer service, mused Miles. "I was wondering if by any chance, I could get milk from the cows?"

The man scrunched his face at Miles in confusion. "What is this place called?"

"...The petting zoo."

The man flicked the straw in his mouth. "Yea! It's the petting zoo this ain't the milking zoo! I ain't milking no animals!"

"Fine," Miles should have figured as much. There was no way it'd be easy for him. "Okay, then does the saloon have milk? Milk wasn't anywhere on the menu there."

The olive toned man spat out his piece of straw, and gave Miles a triumphant grin. "We don't have no milk here, bub. But we do have special milk, if that's what you're talkin' about."

Special milk? Did Miles even want to know what this man was referring to ? "...And where can I get this special milk?" he dared to ask.

"Ah, I see. You like the quality stuff. Good choice," the staffer nodded in approval. He inched closer to Miles across the barrier, speaking lowly. "Go back to the Saloon. And you'll see a cute girl there, name's Max. Ask her for the special and you'll get what you need."

"...Thank you?"

"Of course," the man said lowering his cowboy hat. "We men got our particular needs. Always good to help a brotha out."

Miles watched as the man returned to dancing around chucking bird feed at the chickens. That was...bizarre for lack of a better word and slightly concerning. Were they selling drugs here? What really was the special milk?

Against his better judgement, Miles left the petting zoo, and headed towards the saloon to find out what this milk was all about. After a bit of a journey, he entered the flavorless saloon. The crowds had died down from earlier, only with a few people seated at tables.

He wasn't going to have a seat, for he didn't want to be seen getting whatever this milk was about. He waited around until he spotted the blond waitress walking past, and called her over. "Excuse me."

"Hm? What can I do ya for, sire?"

Miles looked around somewhat agitated. He had to make sure no one noticed this request in case it was something terrible. "Do you have...the special?"

The woman's eyes widened for a moment, but quickly moved to an easy going smile. "Sure do! Follow me out back, fella!"

Oh lord. Things out back usually didn't bode well. Hesitantly, Miles shuffled along to wherever this woman was taking him, past the tables, other staff, and the few customers inside, to a backdoor that led outside. If it was drugs she was selling, he'd report it to Gumshoe.

She walked all the way around to make sure she was away from the door as well as any prying eyes from other customers. Against the wall was a little crate. Miles watched as the waitress opened it up, motioning for him to come and look at the stock. With no other choice, he stepped closer to see what the fuss was about. They were packs of liquid in these see-through plastic bags.

"...So this is the special milk?" he asked quietly.

"The one and only!"Max beamed placing her hands on her hips. "Now, what's your picking?"

"...Pardon?"

"Oh, don't be shy!" she laughed. "I have to admit I was surprised when you a fella like you wanted the special milk. What are you lookin' for? DDs? Cs? Bs? As?"

He was about to ask why she was selling milk by varying vitamin types when it dawned on him. "Wait...these are breast milks?!"

"Yeah. You didn't know?" she asked curiously tugging on one of her braids. "That's what makes them special!"

Oh god. He wanted to gag.

"Why...do people buy this? And more importantly, why do people sell it?!" he asked appalled, that this was being sold in an amusement park and that some man thought he was some weirdo looking to buy the same product as him. Certainly, a woman wouldn't buy this when they could just produce their own, right?

She shrugged. "Beats me. Drink it maybe? Do pervy things with it? I don't know. I do know it makes a big profit! ...Though not as good as the feet pictures."

This place had to be the most foul place Miles had ever visited. It could be that this place might be as awful as a seedy nightclub in LA. But this was ...milk. Even if it wasn't the type he necessarily hadn't had in mind...

Grumbling, he forced himself to ask the dreaded question. "...So how much?"

"Well it depends, if you're looking for high quality $40. On the lower spectrum, it's about $20."

Shamefully, Miles pulled out a 20 dollar bill from his wallet. Cringing, he passed it to the waitress.

"Fantabulous," she smirked as she reached into a crate pulling a small plastic bag of milk. "Enjoy!"

"I definitely won't but someone else might," he muttered as he hastily shoved this in his pocket so no one would ever see it.

As Miles snuck away from the saloon in disgust, Lyn had almost achieved the goal of grabbing the handcuffs...except for how Jake had spotted her in the act. He had walked in all of sudden as she was slipping them off the wall. Her only option was to play to her charm of making people uncomfortable and make up some tall tales.

"...So I just wanted to try them out. I always read about doing something like that online," she said, putting on her best puppy dog face imaginable. "I mean...it's not crazy, right? Lots of people do it. Haven't you ever tried something like that?"

Jake Marshall blushed. "Well...to be honest, my girl is into that stuff. It's funny how it's always the ones you never expect..."

"Oo! So have you ever wrassled?! Or used your lasso?!"

The man was turning into a cherry. "Bambina...that's a bit personal..."

Just a little more. If she could push it further, she was sure he'd drop this whole conversation and forget it ever happened, meaning she could keep the cuffs. She bowed her head with a slight frown. "Oh. I'm sorry. I always get...excited when I get to talk to someone about things like that. Our society is just...so oppressive when it comes to those things, you know?"

"Well, have you talked to your boyfriend about it?"

"Oh heavens, no! He...he's not really much of a talker. A man of action if you will...I really just wanted to spring it on him. See how he reacted," Lyn sighed. "But it's a bummer. I won't be able to wear nothing but cuffs in front of him now..."

"Er...you know what, bambina, it's fine. You can take the cuffs," Jake said trying to hide his embarrassment under the hat by pressing it down. "Go have a blast."

"Awww, thanks a bunch Mr. Marshall! You're the best!" Lyn smiled mischievously as she pocketed the cuffs as she headed out. "Next time we meet, I'll tell you how it works out!"

"...You really don't need to, bambina. I'm sure it will, erm, be fine."

After the door shut on the way out and she was a safe distance away, Lyn laughed her ass off. If he really knew what she planned to do with those cuffs, he wouldn't have let her take them at all. But it was his loss. And her win. Angel Starr was going down...

In 5 minutes Lyn arrived at the final destination before that started the revenge scheme, the shooting range.

"Finally," Miles said approaching her. "What took you so long?"

"Jeez, calm down," she said. "I had to talk Jake into letting me have the handcuffs. Did you get the milk?"

"Oh, yes...I certainly did," he said crinkling his nose in disgust. "It's a special brand. Human woman."

Lyn coughed. "W-what?!"

"Yes, no cow milk. Not even goat milk. But, someone is selling...breast milk."

The woman took off her glasses and spun them around. "Well...that's gross, but it makes the prank better so, plus 1?"

"Negative for the human aspect, plus one for the prank...they neutralize each other."

"Fair enough," she said. "But good work tracking...that down?"

"Let's forget it ever happened and figure out how we're going to borrow these paint guns."

With the line getting longer they both stepped in. After discussing it, they determined the best way to retrieve the paint guns was to 'break' them. If they appeared to be ineffective, the staffers wouldn't care if they were taken back to the prep room or not. They had tons of paint guns to begin with, a couple of them missing, especially broken ones wouldn't be a problem. So, after a couple of games, the two of them managed to slip the guns out in the bag they were given from the gift store.

"Well, that was exciting," Lyn said after the two of them trotted off, away from the arena.

"If you enjoy constantly being hit with paintballs," Miles groaned, stretching out. He got hit a few times playing and even with protective armor it still felt sore.

"Don't be such a baby about it," she teased. "You should have been born small like me! It makes avoiding being hit easier."

"I'm fine with my height," he replied dryly. "Besides, why would I want to be your size? Anyone can throw you around like a rag doll."

"Hey!" Lyn protested by elbowing him in the ribs. To her annoyance, Miles barely reacted.

"Regardless, let's get started, shall we?" Miles said. "We have all the materials we need."

Lyn nodded vigorously. "Let's do this!"

In about ten minutes, everything was ready. The only thing that was left to find Angel. Though, they both assumed that she would most likely be close by Jake perhaps still trying to convince him to be with her. And if that was the case, they'd have to find Jake.

They began their search from the shop, various rides, the jail...but it wasn't until they were by the outhouse did they spot something or someone interesting. Quickly, they took cover behind a nearby tree and listened in.

"Would you just get out of my way you old hag? You're causing me to lose sight of Jake!" It was Angel and...Oldbag, wearing some sort of sheriff outfit complete with hat, gun, and badge. Miles involuntarily shuddered at her very sight.

"Hmph, just some advice kid. Jake might be cute, but he's lacking refinement like-"

"Let me take a wild guess," Angel said flicking her bang to the side. "Edgeworth, right?"

"Obviously," Oldbag said with hearts in her eyes.

"Well, he's not all that great," Angel said vindictively. "He's an awful boyfriend."

"What would you know about that? My Edgey poo wouldn't deal with a skank like you."

"And why would he want to deal with a sagging tits granny like you?" smirked Angel. "But if you're still in denial and try your luck, he's somewhere in the park today. It's the least I can offer you, since he ruined my plan."

"R-really? My Edgey poo is here?!"

"Yes, now please get out of my way," Angel said pushing past Oldbag and wandering in the direction of the jail.

Edgeworth paled. This woman was a nightmare. But now Starr was very high on his shit list for alerting that monster of his presence.

"You got all the ladies today," teased Lyn.

"While I'm sure that this is something Larry would enjoy, I for one do not," he remarked. "Dealing with you is enough."

The woman folded her arms. "Hey, what's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said," Miles said dryly. Having one girlfriend would already be enough, but having one as clownish as Lyn was a handful. Days like today were a prime example of how with her he'd always need to be expecting the unexpected. Nothing was ever calm or quiet with her around and if it was, it either wouldn't last or something was seriously wrong.

Ignoring him, Lyn continued thinking about the mission. "We need to get a move on Angel-"

Miles wouldn't budge from his spot, observing the evil hag across the way. "I can't, not with that menace standing over there. If she sees me, it's over."

Lyn stroked her chin. It was a simple solution honestly. "Well, that just means we gotta get rid of her, right?"

"It might be my fantasy to murder her in cold blood, but you know it can't actually happen."

"Woah. Why did you jump straight to murder, Miles?" Lyn asked her mouth slightly opened in surprise. "Is there something you're not telling me?"

Of course, he would never in reality condone murder. But he realized a long time ago that there was no plausible way that wasn't murder to get Oldbag to leave him alone. This woman would follow him to the ends of the earth. He imagined that even if she were to die, she'd probably return as a zombie or some reincarnation just aggravate him like there was no tomorrow.

"...Who knows?"

Lyn took a step back, putting her hands up. "Er, I was going to suggest something a step beneath murder, but with the way you're looking at me..."

"Manslaughter?"

"No!" she shook her head. "Dude, you can be so creepy when you're grinning like that..."

"My apologies. What were you going to suggest?"

"Assault, duh," the woman said with a smirk as she opened the bag, pulling out a paint gun. "I'm sure one good hit to the head would knock her out for a bit."

"...You want to attack her with paint guns."

"Yes."

Usually, Miles would have berated her and said it was probably a bad idea, but it was a bad idea to come to this park with Gumshoe, a worse idea to pretend to be Angel's boyfriend, and an awful idea to purchase breast milk from behind a seedy saloon from some strange woman in a cowboy costume.

And you know what? For all the years of torment Oldbag had brought upon him, it would be therapeutic.

"So, while she's still over there gushing like a moron over you, I'm going to distract her. You come up behind her and fire away."

Before he could verbally agree to the plan, Lyn left the gun with him behind the tree and ran out to where Oldbag was monologuing. As soon as she engaged conversation, Miles grabbed a paint gun and darted from the tree to the other side of the outhouse, taking cover.

"Yeah! I totally saw him by the jail looking all stuffy as usual. But you know what's interesting about today?"

"That he's even in this park?"

"Even better!" Lyn said as she adjusted her glasses with a grin. "No suit or cravat today. T-shirt and jeans!"

What on earth was so exciting about a change of clothes? Miles asked himself as he got closer into position. Women were so peculiar sometimes.

"What?!" the oldbag squawked. "I can get the perfect rare photos for the fan club!"

Fan club? ...Why did he have a fan club? Who was there? Had this wench started it?

"I bet! He still looks good, so you better get a gander before you miss it!" Lyn said as though she were some saleswoman giving a pitch.

"Heheh, thanks for the heads up, whippersnapper," she said beginning to walk off.

Miles waited till she was a safe distance away before taking the shot. He despised this woman, but had no intention of killing her or causing serious harm. He couldn't believe his day had turned into this, but he pulled the trigger, sending a .68 caliber green paintball flying into the back of Oldbag's head.

She crumbled to the ground, face planting right into the dirt. Hesitantly, he jogged to her body. Miles was a bit conflicted about his lack of guilt. He probably should have felt bad about it, but he mainly just felt relief. If anything he was probably more concerned about someone finding out he hit an old lady with a paintball gun.

"Wow, nice job," Lyn said squatting down, to check on the old lady. She had a pulse and was still breathing so she was ok. "No worries, she's all good. She'll have a killer headache and a time washing her hair, but...overall good."

"Well, we can't leave her like this, can we?" Miles asked peering around to make sure no one saw anything.

"Probably not," Lyn agreed. "We should probably put her somewhere."

"People are going to notice us dragging an unconscious body around, so let's just leave her in the outhouse."

The woman nodded as she moved to the front of the outhouse opening up the door. Miles dragged Oldbag's body around as fast as he could.

"Miles," Lyn said sweating. "Why don't you pick her up? Instead of dragging her face in the dirt?" She was going to look a mess whenever she woke up.

He paused, realizing he was grinding Oldbag's face through the dirt and grass stained area. But continued on, justifying that he was already about to shove her into the outhouse anyway. It would simply be a nice mud bath for her face.

Lyn stood to cover, when Miles finally picked up the old woman and sat her on the toilet. Relieved Miles exited the outhouse, shutting the door behind him. Lyn had seen a few people passing by, but they hadn't been looking in this direction much or if it all.

"Good?" she asked him.

Miles nodded. Now that Oldbag was disposed of and by his own hand at that...they could move on to the real show. The two of them hightailed it away from the outhouse and headed towards the jail.

They had lost sight of her and she wasn't in or around the jail. Where they did spot Angel was nearby the petting zoo pacing back and forth. Lyn quickly, grabbed Edgeworth by the arm and took cover behind by a pretzel stand.

"Wh-what is it?" Miles asked caught off guard by the suddenness of her actions.

"This is the perfect spot," Lyn said eyes gleaming with the excitement of a serial movie killer. "I need you to lure her over to that pole."

"Why me?" he asked. He was fairly certain she had more of anger directed at Starr than he did. And was far, far, more craving to see her humiliated.

She reached into the bag passing him the signs they made earlier. "1, you're stronger than me, 2, she's a little more likely to talk to you than me considering I kicked her before."

"And what do I even say to her?"

"I don't know, be your usual snarky self. Do what you do to me when something I do goes horribly wrong."

Well that was easy enough.

"And what about you?"

She smirked. "You'll see. Just put the signs on her and get her by the pole."

Miles sighed. He decided to get it over with if only to see how this particular plot would pan out. Unenthused to have to engage conversation with her once more, he strolled passed some people into Angel's proximity.

"Ugh. What can I do now? What will it take?" she muttered to herself. "Stupid Lana."

"I think in reality what's stupid is chasing after someone who is already accounted for," Miles remarked, inching closer to her.

The cough up queen stopped dead in her tracks, giving him an icy glare that could rival his own piercing looks. "You. What do you want now? You've already ruined my perfect plan."

"On the contrary, it was a stupid plan to begin with," he said, discreetly sticking the sign to her back.

She didn't notice. "Hmph. And what would you know? This is about seduction, mr. prosecutor!"

"Well, it doesn't seem to be working on him, does it?" Miles pointed.

Starr flipped her hair, smiling. "But, it's worked on everyone else."

"A pity that those men couldn't see through it."

"H-huh?" Starr began to sweat. "What do you mean?"

Miles took this as an opportunity to get the last sign on her back. "Perhaps Jake isn't so swayed by your methods and tactics. Maybe he can see through you."

She started to tremble slightly, as though shocked by the very idea. "But it's flawless! ...If that's the case, I don't know what more is left to do."

"I might have an idea of what might work, but you've already disregarded my ideas, so I'll be on my way," Miles said walking away, in hopes that this would lure her over to the nearby pole.

He never once looked back, but stopped at the sound of Angel's voice. "...Alright. If my sultry seduction techniques aren't working, what should I do?"

Miles smirked to himself. "How about we discuss it in more detail over here?" he asked as he walked to the left of the pole.

Sulking over, upset that she had to take advice from Miles, Angel followed.

"I think your best option is-"

"-to stop being such a whore!" Lyn yelled as she slapped the cuffs on one of Angel's hands and then promptly to the metal pole.

"W-what is this?" Angel barked in confusion. She tugged on the cuffs, unable to get away from the pole. "You brat!"

Lyn took the branding sticks, with only two letters. "Miles, can you hold our wonderful friend down as I get to work?"

"What are you two doing?" Angel nearly hissed. "Let me go!"

Miles did what was asked of him and restrained Angel's free hand, as Lyn stamped the letters 'H' and 'O' on each cheek of Angel's face. Once she was done, Miles let go over. Lyn took a step back and admiring the work thus far. The signs on her back read:

FREE RIDE, COME ONE AND COME ALL ;) . YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED IN RIDING THIS CHOO CHOO TRAIN COMING FROM MORNING TILL NIGHT.

Now, there was only one final touch to the project.

Lyn grabbed the pouch of milk from her bag and opened it up.

Angel had went from livid to confused when she saw the packet. "Wh-what is that?"

"It's a flavorful liquid you might enjoy drinking."

"...Ha. Well, if it's a salty surprise, you won't get me! I'm a pro."

Lyn shook her head. "This has nothing to do with men, my friend..."

With that, she dumped the special milk all over Angel's head drenching her in it. "...but all to do with women."

Angel tried shaking off the substance and spitting it out of her mouth as it dripped down all over her face. "What."

"That's breast milk for ya."

"Argh! You're disgusting!" Angel cried, starting to gag, realizing what she was covered in.

"You are a cow, so I thought it was fitting," Lyn smiled.

"Let me out of here! Jake is gonna hear about this!"

"I know he will," Lyn said menacingly. It was exactly what she wanted to happen, but for that to be noticed..."HEY EVERYBODY, COME CHECK OUT THIS NEW RIDE! TAKE A RIDE ON THE ANGEL TRAIN! IT'S FREE! AND OPEN AT ALL TIMES OF DAY AND NIGHT!"

Angel, growling, took a swipe at Lyn with her free hand, but barely grazed her. Miles was shaking his head, taking a step back to distance himself from this...display. Lyn stood there maniacally laughing, while curious on goers especially decrepit old men were starting to flock the area.

"Oo, I'd love to ride your choo choo train, baby."

"Nighttime excursions are my favorite!"

"Let me into your love tunnel!"

"JAKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Angel as she was being drowned out by the desperate men. "GET ME OUT OF HERRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Having seen enough, Miles dragged Lyn away from the scene to hide out. If not she'd be standing there all day amused at the job. They would need to wait for Jake to show up and to have Angel tell him they were the perpetrators. Then they could weed him out and lure him to the next spot fulfilling the day of revenge at the park.

They took cover back at the pretzel stand. "I have to admit, you've out done yourself," Miles remarked. "I don't think I've ever seen such a large group of men swoop down like a group of seagulls before."

"Thank you," Lyn bowed, beaming with pride. The results of this were far better than anticipated and she was happy that Miles actually complimented her on a prank for a change. She felt that he didn't mind her shenanigans, but wouldn't openly admit it, so this made her happy."Me neither, for a second, it seemed like they were actually flying too."

They were unsure of how much time had passed, but eventually Jake did come over shooing off the horny men flocking around Angel with what appeared to be a spray bottle of a mysterious green liquid.

"Git outta here, ya lowlives !" Jake yelled as he pulled the trigger on his spray bottle in a repetitive motion...almost as if he's had to do something like this before. He didn't stop until he emptied it of all its liquid.

"Ack! W-what is that awful stench?"

"My eyes!"

Whatever that scent was it was powerful to break up the crowding of desperate dudes, causing them to disperse in all directions. Jake, satisfied spun his spray bottle around in his hand as if it were a gun. "Feh, those yella bellies don't know what they're missing out on with my cowboy spray."

Angel coughed. "Just what is even in that?"

"Onion, mustard, vinegar, cactus, asparagus...and a little something extra," he smirked lowering his hat. "Anywho, what the hell are you doing down there? You look like a hot mess."

"That little brat and the prosecutor from earlier did this to me!"

He sighed deeply, bending over to unlock her handcuff with a set of keys he kept on his person. "Is that so?"

Miles and Lyn, decided it was a good time to execute the next part of the plan. Nodding to her, Miles started back tracking towards the spot he wanted Jake to head over to.

"Damn straight!" Lyn said hopping from her hiding spot directly in front of Jake and Angel. This time she would be the bait. "She got exactly what she deserved. Sluuuuuuuut!"

"You're just jealous!" Angel snapped, rotating her wrist.

"Jealous of all the diseases you've probably contracted by now? Dude, you're funny!" Lyn pointed laughing.

"...So that's why you wanted those handcuffs," Jake said looking at Lyn seriously. "Bambina, that weren't no good either. Two wrongs don't make a right. You're coming with me-"

"Not if you can't catch me! Good luck! Hehe!" Lyn chortled like an idiot, sprinting as fast as she could from the scene of the crime. Sure enough, as she looked behind her, Jake was following right along. All according to plan... she just hoped she had enough stamina to keep running.

Weaving in between groups of people and crowds while running out of breath, Lyn made it to the agreed upon rendezvous point: The cactus farm.

It had cacti of all shapes and sizes, short and stout, tall and skinny, green and more green? Lyn just knew it was a greenhouse that held a lot of pointy plants. Jake was closing in on her, so she carefully moved through the gate entering the inside of the farm, coming to a stop on the narrow pathway. It seemed the farm wasn't a very popular location, seeing as there were only 2 people besides herself inside. She didn't know exactly where Miles was, but being the perfectionist he was, she was certain he'd be ready.

In a minute or so, Jake came up behind her. "Nice try, bambina, but you can't outrun me."

"Aww. That's too bad..." she mock frowned. "...Since that wasn't really my goal anyway."

"...What?"

Click.

Jake flinched. With caution, he turned around to find the source of the sound. It was Miles pointing the paint gun directly at him.

"Indeed. This was our goal all along," Miles said, finger on the trigger.

"Hey, now what do you think you're doing with that?" the detective asked beginning to sweat.

"What do you think, detective?" Miles asked itching to blast him away. "Do you think I'm holding this for fun? What are guns for?"

"Hehehe Miles is super mean when he's angry."

"What have you got to be angry about?"

If he didn't have restraint, Miles would have fired the paint balls at the cowboy immediately. He jerked the gun in Jake's direction threateningly. "What have I got to be angry about? EVERYTHING. Today was one of the worst days I've ever experienced at this horrible park! And you started it all by arresting for something I didn't do...so prepare to suffer."

Jake put his hands up in the air."Hey, let's be reasonable about this, pardner. I can get you a coupon-"

"Nobody wants a coupon to this hellhole!" snapped Miles, pressing the paint gun into Marshall's back. "Now, walk!"

Hesitantly, Jake took a few steps forward while Miles prodded him in the direction of all the cacti. "Pardner, this is a dirty thing to do-"

But Miles was over his protests, after all he didn't listen to him when he was thrown into that cartoon jail cell. With great relief, the demon prosecutor pulled the trigger to the paint gun...over and over, splattering all over Jake's poncho and uniform underneath. But most importantly, it forced the man up against cacti, from his back, legs, and even his ass.

"Nrgh..." Jake groaned, clearly feeling the sting from the paintball gun as well as the prickly pins of cacti.

"What can I say?" smirked Miles. "You've been quite the pain in the arse."

Lyn could only respond by looking at him cringing.

"What?" he asked, with a flush. "Don't look at me like that. I was just doing what bad puns you would do."

"No, that was like the corny one liner to an 80s action movie," she teased.

He chose to ignore her. At the very least, he found it fitting to this situation. Seeing Jake in pain, was enough for him to declare his day of vengeance complete. He dropped the gun and started walking away, getting ready to leave the park for the day.

"That...was a cheap shot, pardner," Marshall spat, like man nearly beaten to death in battle. "But I bet you're not a real man anyway."

Miles stopped dead in his tracks. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"If you're a real man, you'll go to the Wild West photoshoot with your lady friend. Lots of yella bellied fellows back out."

The demon prosecutor wasn't a punk. "A photoshoot, you say? I'll do it. What is so frightening about that?"

Jake only responded with a smirk. "You'll find out if you actually go through with it, pardner. Let's see how man enough you are. You'll have to prove it since shooting an unarmed fellow is a scummy thing to do."

The demon prosecutor wouldn't back down. Not when a man pointed a gun at him, and certainly not when a man dressed as a cowboy challenged his manhood.

"Challenge accepted."


	8. A Worthy Mistake

_AN: If you thought the last chapter was bad, this is where shit hits the fan!_ _Shout out to the homie JordanPhoenix for giving a brilliant idea for Jake's scheme in this one! This one closes the theme park adventures...leading into Miles' revenge plot against Lyn hehe. Tiny lime towards the end in case you wanna scroll past it, starts inside the car!_

 _Till then, I'll catch y'all on the flip side. Working on FT as we speak so hopefully I'll be able to crank out the next chapter of that soon! Hope you guys enjoy!_

 _DJJ680: Yeah, don't screw with them. Not in your best interests._

 _JordanPhoenix: Lol, it's probably not permanent. Probably. Well, I told you it was foul xD. And I thought how to make things even worse and boob juice was the answer ahaha. Definitely, she's the town bicycle lol. She admits it herself in canon which makes it even better to me haha. Who knew they could be so savage? Damn, they should have given her an atomic wedgie, considering they threw her into the outhouse..._

 _Ohohoho. Cactus butt will have too much fun lol in this one xD._

J _ack54311_ _: Well, you're gonna see, friend. That's...a part of it. But not the whole kitten kaboodle. Hehe, yeah it might not be pretty. Ayup, spite spite. Because regular milk's a bit boring...in my head it was a bit symbolic since I feel she's probably taken some poor women's boyfriends on plenty of occasions. I'm also crazy._

* * *

Wincing, Jake pressed his cowboy hat down. "It's a done deal. Meet me there at the photo booth in...about 20 minutes once I get all these prickly points out."

That said, the cowboy limped out of the cactus greenhouse and vanished from sight.

"So, we're going to this photo booth now?" Lyn asked him. She already knew the answer, of course. Miles couldn't resist competition. He was serious to begin with, but when it came to a challenge, something about them lit a fire inside. He had to win at all costs. If there was anything childish about him, it would be that.

Miles would show Jake Marshall that he wasn't any coward and reign supreme over him in a day of terrors he had helped to create.

"Oh well, at least we can take pictures," Lyn sighed.

If she had asked him to take pictures with her, he probably would have flat out said no. But of course, when something this ridiculous popped up, he would agree. Typical.

Together they ventured towards the end of the park, in the direction of the petting zoo, a bit further down. The little shack of a building read Wild West Photoshoot out front, so they had found the right spot. Inside, it only had 2 other amusement park goers with a photographer taking pictures of the pair in western attire. Before you could get to the photo station set up, there was a front desk they needed to approach first.

"Y'all here for shoot?" the person at the desk asked as they chewed some tobacco and spat in a can.

"Yes."

Reaching into a drawer, the ruddy faced man pulled out a stapled pack of papers and a pen.

"Here buddy, read through the terms and agreements first, then sign off on it. Give back to me when you're done. Then you can go get what's left in the costumes in the back, through the side door on the right if ya walk down. After that pair is sorted, you can take your pictures next."

Miles nodded as he took the papers and started reading through them. For a packet of 6 pages, there was a lot of material to read. And to be frank, he didn't feel like reading more than he had to, especially with the text being so small. So after skimming the pages for a couple of minutes he signed his name and had Lyn sign hers. He passed it back to man with the browning teeth in the front desk.

"Thanks. Well, congratulations. Not many people go through it."

"How hard can this be?"

The man laughed. "A cocky one, eh. Well, it's not for the faint of heart, I suppose. But if you have the guts to make it work...I'm sure it'll turn out great."

Miles didn't particularly care for taking photos but even he didn't think it'd be that challenging. Just what was so scary about these photos? Were they cursed or something?

"Let's go check out the costumes!" Lyn said dragging Miles along by the arm towards the door on the right side, not too far off from the front desk. Inside, it was akin to a closet storage area, but with a giant mirror in the center of the room as well as racks of clothes to choose from.

Lyn locked the door and gravitated towards what was assumed to be the rack of women's clothes, with all sorts of dresses down from cute, elegant, and even sexy. Not being a huge fan of dresses in general, she opted to keep it simple by picking a red and black poofy dress with ribbons and glove set.

Miles was rather unlucky when it came to selection. Not like he was particularly thrilled about dressing up, but the men's clothing was quite plain...the shirts were mostly dark colors and designed to make one look like a pirate, in his opinion. On top of that...it appeared that normal pants were out of the question.

"What's taking you so long?" she asked as she started to strip down and climb into the dress.

Miles flushed as he looked at his abysmal options. "There aren't any normal pants."

"Huh? You're not serious, I see pants right there," she said cocking her back to look at the rack.

The man sighed. This must have been it. This must have been the challenge Marshall meant… Shaking his head, he lifted the 'pants' up and showed them to Lyn.

"Would you call _these_ normal?" In his hands, he held up a pair of pleather assless chaps.

The girl gaped, but then she started howling in laughter. "...Omg. You have to wear it! Put it on!"

"Absolutely not! I'm not exposing myself like that!" he protested as his blush deepened. He had far too much dignity for something so disgraceful to be donned on his person!

Lyn was still cracked up, but not so much that she couldn't egg him on. "But aren't you gonna lose if you don't put it on and take a picture?"

Miles gritted his teeth. He had to prove Marshall wrong. But on the flip side, to do so was to make himself look idiotic… Sadly, his desire to win and prove himself was taking over his sensibilities.

Grumbling, he threw off his clothes, while Lyn giggled the whole time.

"Would you mind?"

"Mind what?" she asked trying to sound innocent as she snickered.

"Stop looking at me," he demanded. She always took delight in his plights and by God it drove him nuts!

"But, I'm going to have to look at you regardless for the photo-"

"Just turn around!" he snapped.

She chuckled as she did what was demanded. "Jeez. So sensitive."

The prosecutor groaned. He was almost done, minus the awful pleather eye sore he was slipping on. Why did people wear this to begin with? If he wanted to show his ass, he would have just went naked. If he didn't want to do so, he'd keep his pants. There shouldn't be an in between.

Yet, here he was, showing his bare butt cheeks for the world to see in a cheaply made get up best suited for strippers at a Chip & Dale… what was worse was how his junk was also on display, as though it were wrapped up by a dominatrix. . . It really was a punishment.

Lyn turned around to take a peek. "Pfftt!"

Miles scowled turning a shade of red so dark it would put blood to shame. "I told you not to look!"

But his whine went ignored, the woman just laughed until she couldn't breathe. Miles was so uptight, he would have never worn anything so ridiculous without such a challenge. Perhaps, she'd need to egg others on to provoke Miles more often in the future.

Embarrassed, the prosecutor lowered his head in shame and scurried out of the room and into the hall. He couldn't wait to get this over with so he could just go home.

The other couple taking pictures had already left the spot for pictures, so Miles took place in front of the camera waiting impatiently for Lyn. He noticed the back drop had been changed to resemble a wedding scene, with a white gate and aisle with pews.

Jake Marshall walked down with a smirk, looking at the mess that Edgeworth was. "Well pardner, color me surprised that you went through with it...and that outfit."

"Hn...Of course I would," he managed to force out barely.

Soon, Lyn emerged from the hallway past the previous couple returning their costumes in the dressing room, to where the funnily dressed men were standing. A stripper and cowboy cop in the same location was a sight to see.

"Ah, so I see the bambina didn't get cold feet."

"Why would I? My dress is cute...unlike what Miles is wearing," she quipped.

"Heh. I agree with that a hundred percent, missy," he said adjusting his hat. "But now that everyone is here, let's get this show on the road."

Marshall pointed the camera man with a snap. The man behind the camera nodded and smiled, prepared to take the best shots.

Jake turned his attention to Miles. "Do you pardner, take this bambina to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

Miles rolled his eyes. He got the idea now. Humiliate him by getting dressed up in this stupid get up, ham it up, and take a picture to commemorate this awful experience. Jake Marshall was a clever son of a gun. "Sure."

He continued with a wry smile, turning to Lyn. "And do you bambina, take this pardner to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Um, I guess so. This stick in the mud would be a mess without me!" she grinned.

Miles looked at her. "What planet are you on? You have that backwards. _You're_ the mess here. I'm the one keeping it together."

"Well, you'd be as fun as waiting for paint to dry without me!" she protested.

The camera man had been shooting off many shots between their squabble excitedly.

Marshall took a swig of the mysterious liquid in his flask before moving out of the way of the barely interested couple. "Well, you may now kiss the bride hehe."

Miles inwardly groaned. He didn't like displays of affection in public, let alone wearing such a bloody horrible outfit...but a challenge was a test of his manhood and one he refused to back down from. And well, he didn't mind kissing Lyn obviously.

Inching closer to Lyn, bending down slightly, going in for a brief peck on the lips.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," Jake grinned. He called out to the people passing by, walking around outside. "Can we get a round of applause for the newly married couple?"

The people outside hollered and whooped like it was no one's business. Lyn and Miles flushed in response.

"Well, I guess you ain't so yellow bellied after all, pardner," Marshall smirked.

"That wasn't as bad as you painted it out to be," Miles remarked. "Embarrassing yes, but it's just for show-"

Marshall took out his knife, grooming himself. "Oh, that was a real ceremony, pardner. I'm also an ordained minister."

"...What?"

"Yeah, I mean, I had to pass the time somehow before I became a detective again," he laughed. The cowboy, reached into his coat and waved his certificate in the air. "Here's my evidence, if ya don't believe me."

Oh God.

Oh dear God.

"W-wait a second! We're actually married?!" Lyn yelled.

Marshall...this bastard! He had tricked him! It was one thing to shoot someone with a paint gun, but to trick them into marriage?! This godforsaken park was going to be the death of him! He didn't want to be married! He didn't even believe in the institution of marriage! And he got married in this hellhole park, in front of spectators with this outfit showing his ass! Why did he come ?!

"You!"

"Yes?" Amused, Marshall smirked as he put his possessions away. "I forgive you for earlier. This was priceless."

Miles was fuming too much to respond. The cowboy gave him a pat on the back before walking off into the sunset. "Enjoy the newlywed life, pardner. I hear it's a hoot."

For some time the two of them stood in stunned silence.

"This is all your fault!" Miles boomed, glaring at Lyn.

"What?! My fault?!" she asked incredulously. "You didn't read the fine print! I have told you over and over you needed to get your vision checked!"

"My vision is fine!"

"You sit at home and read all those legalese books in tiny print!" she snapped. "You're straining your eyes!"

"I told you, I can see perfectly fine!"

"You just have a grudge against glasses, don't you?"

" _Oh_ , don't start this." She would incessantly go on about how glasses were the best fashion accessory in the world.

"You don't need to feel bad about wearing them! Glasses are sexy and add personality!"

"I DON'T NEED ANY CORRECTIVE LENSES!"

"Says the man who has gotten us married! I didn't see the documents, because Mr. prosecuting genius wanted to do it and then neglected to the damn thing he's normally paid to do on a regular basis!"

"Grr..."

Lyn ran her fingers through her hair. "Oh my God...this was so not my idea of a perfect wedding!"

"I never wanted to be married to begin with," he said rubbing his temple.

"Well, thanks for reading everything so thoroughly!" she remarked. "Always nagging me to make sure I read each and every detail, you hypocrite!"

"I want a divorce." This was entirely too much.

Lyn, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt in a surprising display of strength. "You listen to me! You're _not_ turning me into an unwanted 25 year old divorcee! You're annulling this when we get back home!"

"As much as I would love to this instant, the courthouse isn't open until Monday."

"Ack! This is terrible!" she said shoving him back. "I can't believe I married you!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked repressing his urge to explode. "I'm quite sure I'm marriage material unlike _some_ people."

"Oho, so you're saying I'm not marriage material?" Lyn questioned. He had some nerve. "Perhaps, you're right. I might be a bad match for someone like you, who is lacking any sense of excitement."

With that she stomped off, back towards the dressing room. Sourly, Miles followed behind, not because he wanted this conversation to go on, but mainly to get out of this stupid outfit away from the rest of the world. As she didn't hold the door open for him, he had to quickly grab hold of it before it slapped it right in the face. Gnashing his teeth together to prevent himself from cursing, he forced the heavy door open, slamming it shut behind him.

Lyn was already removing the costume, unlacing the back of the dress.

"Your form of excitement," Miles continued on, "is rarely the type of excitement any sane person would hope for."

"While your excitement involves reading law books getting a hard on for legislation in your office, right?"

"That's hardly fair and you know it-"

"What's hardly fair is that you're trying to blame this all on me," she said, folding her arms momentarily stopping the removal process of the dress. "Yes, I agreed to come because you know, I thought maybe something nice could happen! And that maybe, it would be fun to do something together!"

"You call this fun, woman?!" he huffed. "Being up on Saturday, forced to listen to atrocious singing, in a filthy car, to eat garbage too foul my body to handle that I had to release it in an outhouse, to be arrested, and then forced to pretend to be with some harpy, is not my idea of fun!"

"Oh come on, it wasn't all bad! At least, you got to blast Oldbag! You can't tell me that wasn't fun," she sighed.

"Maybe the only 'fun' thing."

Lyn ran a hand through her hair. "Man, you're so uptight if I shoved a piece of coal in your butt cheeks we have a diamond in a fortnight, I swear... "

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, and you're about as loose as explosive diarrhea."

"Ugh, fine. You're right. It sucked! It was a terrible day!" admitted Lyn. "But _you're_ the dimwit who got us married, not me!"

If there was anything that sucked the most for Miles Edgeworth, it was making a serious error. Of course, she was right; she did not look over the papers nor was egged on by Jake Marshall to come to this 'photo booth'...so, he was forced to look at his own stupid mistake. But as he'd been griping about the whole day...none of this would have happened if Lyn had the gall to turn Gumshoe's invitation down.

They undressed in silence.

Lyn knew it was a shitty day for him, but he was not blaming her for the unwanted marriage! Not like she was staying in this world anyway, and doubted they'd ever do anything of the sort, but this was utterly disappointing in more ways than one. She always imagined her wedding day to be, well, beautiful or at the very least...normal!

This was one of the most stupid absurd things that could have possibly happened... being a mrs. Would that make her Mrs. Edgeworth? ...No. That in itself was just weird. As much as she wanted to get back at Jake for this, she feared he'd simply one up them again and curse them with an even worse surprise. Hanging up the dress now fully clothed, she figured it was best to just suffer for two days as wife to Mr. Bossy and fix this immediately Monday morning.

Putting her feelings into a sigh, she left the room without so much as a glance at her now husband. She went down the hall and was about to walk by the front desk until she was stopped by the photographer.

"Hey Miss. Don't forget your pictures!" he said as he passed her the developed physical copies of the photographs.

"Thanks," she muttered, wondering if she should burn these. But on a quick cursory glance, Lyn quickly changed her mind. Miles looked like such a fucking idiot that she needed to keep them. It maybe was the only good thing about Marshall's trick. Lyn shoved the pictures into her pocket. If Miles saw them he'd demand she throw them away.

How annoying, the demon prosecutor thought to himself. His now wife should be grateful that her day was superior to his. She had so little to be upset about he was rather offended. Yes, he had made the mistake of getting them married, but the other things? She had no right to complain!

From the distance, he saw the man behind the camera passing Lyn pictures. Oh no. She couldn't keep those. Those could be blackmail material for her. He thought of the various ways she could attempt to make him do her bidding. Or just how she could potentially embarrass him...

No, those pictures, must be destroyed.

As fast as he could, Miles barreled towards her like a truck. Lyn noticed him at the last second, and barely, just barely turned on her heels fast enough to make a daring escape.

"Give me those pictures!"

"No! They're mine!"

She ran as fast as her legs would carry her, but they could only take her so far. Lyn only managed to get as far as the outside of the saloon before Miles grabbed her by the arm. Curse his long legs!

"Heh...hand them over!" Miles demanded.

Lyn tried to wriggle free of his hold, shaking her head furiously. The prosecutor pulled her close, and dug into the pocket in which the pictures were sticking upright. She wrapped her hand around his wrist, but she didn't have nearly enough strength to wrestle the images back. Snatched from her, Miles threw the pictures into the nearest trashcan as far down as he could.

"No one will ever see these. Ever again," he said with relief.

Lyn was fuming. If she had the strength to fight him seriously, she probably would have. "You...you suck!"

"I can't trust you with those pictures. Who knows what you'd do with them."

"I wanted them for myself, you big jerk!" Lyn said, looking into the deep dark depths of the trashcan full of rancid food. There was no way she could salvage them.

Miles folded his arms. There was just no way, she'd simply do nothing with those photos. It was Lyn he was talking about. "Like I'd believe that…"

"Ughh! You think you know everything, don't you? I wanted it since, you know, you rarely take nice pictures."

He blinked. Just what world was she living in? Those were the most humiliating photos he had ever taken to date! "How in God's name are those nice pictures!?"

"But now that you've said that, it's certainly not going to stop me from telling people about it!"

"You wouldn't dare…"

"Why not? You've already painted me as untrustworthy! I'll just ring everyone I know and say: 'Miles Edgeworth secretly LOVES wearing assless chaps!'" she laughed with the rife with sarcasm. "Oh, but it's fine, no one would believe it anyway since you're so anal a 10 foot pole would have nothing on you!"

"Oh, hardy har har! Marriage is one thing, but being married to someone off their rocker is another!"

"Huh? Me crazy? You only think it's crazy cause you. Are. So. BORING!" she said hands cupped. "I mean overly serious people like you will go crazy eventually by being so serious! I'm trying to help!"

"Well, it's not working! You have already driven me crazy!" His world of order, logic, and serenity had been completely disrupted because of her. "It's always some mess you pull me into and I have no way to be prepared!"

"Yeah, it's called adventure! Life doesn't come with a roadmap all neatly prepared! And you try to control everything like...like...you're the fun police!" she said folding her arms. "Oh, someone's having fun and trying to invite me? You're under arrest!"

His patience was wearing thin. Of course, he knew that life wasn't predictable. It would be madness to attempt to control every little thing. But he would prefer to have an idea of what was happening, a plan, an outline, whatever you called it...just for a sense of security. Without that, he felt adrift at sea, wandering aimlessly pulled by tides in all sorts of different directions. Sometimes, you couldn't just 'wing it'. Some situations required thought and planning...consistency! With her, he wouldn't know what chaos would erupt nearby. He was fine with adventure, but in small digestible portions. NOTHING like whatever the hell they were facing now. It grated on him how she expected him to be fine with such insanity when it was clear he needed a little less excitement, and a little more calm.

"Lyn, you are nothing but a child...No, rather a spoiled rotten brat! Perhaps you haven't woken up the reality yet, but your actions are a constant aggravation to my life! Maybe if you grew up, you would be able to see the ramifications of your decisions on others!"

Everything she did was an aggravation to him? She could admit that she would purposely do things to annoy him sometimes, but it was never out of spite, just to get him to crack a smile instead of such a serious veneer. To her, life should be fun and not so serious. There would be plenty of tragic or sad life events that would happen, so wouldn't it make sense to smile when you had the chance? She remembered the seriousness, the depressive phase she held once and just didn't want to go back there again. So, why shouldn't life be fun and exciting? ...But she supposed if he couldn't understand that about her, she'd let it be.

They didn't speak for some time, the air hanging heavy between them. Perhaps, it was for the best that this happened, Lyn mused. Maybe they weren't all that good together to begin with. Perhaps, it was just a fluke. Maybe they were just too different.

"Ah, I see," she said quietly. "Well, if that's the case, I'll be grabbing my things tonight."

"...What? Don't be ridiculous."

"How is it ridiculous? If I really bother you that much, I should leave right?"

"You idiot. You're going to be the death of me, I swear," he sighed. "No, you're not going anywhere."

"Says you," she sneered as she turned away from him, walking all the way towards the entrance and into the parking lot.

"Tch! Lyn!" Miles followed after her refusing to give up so easily. They had their squabbles, but today was probably their worst.

He caught up to her once she had made it back to Gumshoe's car.

"Would you listen for a moment?"

"What else is there to listen to?" she snapped.

Frustrated he did his best to calm himself. "You know, if you actually let me finish, it could surprise you."

"Huh. Must be hard for someone like you who's soooo boring to be one bit surprising," she taunted.

Now, it was just intentional provocations. He took a breath in an attempt to calm himself.

"Aw, what's wrong? What happened to that surprise?" she prodded continuing to push, in an attempt to push him away. "Guess you're stuffy and uptight after all."

"Lyn you-"

"Boring, boring, boring! You can't even come up with an interesting comeback, you dullard!"

Miles couldn't bare it anymore. He pressed her against the side of the car. She was taken off guard, by the suddenness and remained frozen, even without him pinning her in place.

"That is enough," he said in a tone of finality. "You will listen. Now."

It was a bad habit, but she loved to provoke and it was even worse when she was upset. But for once she wondered it was bad thing. She knew she could be an ass, and she always enjoyed seeing who would let her walk all over them or who would put her in her place. Right now, it was pretty clear which one Miles was. She could see the wild look in his steely eyes. And despite being angry with him, she felt that surge of electricity flowing between them.

"No," she rebelled, unable to help the overwhelming urge to press buttons in this moment. Her anger, fueled by her own of amusement of Miles' anger and frustration egged her on. "Make me."

"Make you...?" he nearly growled. The demon prosecutor was aware that this was a game now. Those two words were a recipe for a war. He was surely going to put this brat in her place, this bloody instant.

If she refused to handle it maturely, so be it. He yanked her ponytail back so much, it forced her to look upward. "Do I have your attention now?"

"N-no..." she boldly lied. Lyn's heart was pounding out of control. She wouldn't let him win easily despite being cornered. He had to earn his domination. "I'm...not interested in hearing a thing you say."

"Oh, I see. It's not enough for you? It's _boring_ , hm?" he asked lowly, as he spoke into the woman's ear. Liar. She was fully captivated right now by him. Her brown eyes were trying desperately to look away from him, but they returned to look into his eyes. It was driving him crazier to say she wasn't listening. It might have been selfish, be he wanted all of her attention and if he was refused that...it aggravated him how well she knew how to play him. She was always driving him up a wall. But ultimately she was playing with fire. If she was going to push him, he would push back twice as hard. "Then let me make it _fun_ for you."

He bit her with the ferocity of a shark, starting from the collarbone, up to under her chin. Anytime she tried to lower her head, he refused to allow it and yanked her right back into place. "Miles..."

The prosecutor released the grip on her ponytail. "Having _fun_ yet?"

She glared at him, unused to that amount of roughness. Though it did sorta turn her on.

"You're such a jerk," she said as she pushed forward against him to bite and tug on his lips with the same coarseness, wrapping her arms around his neck. It amused him greatly, considering she was not nearly as good at is as he was. Not too long after, she forced her tongue into his mouth, but there was only so much leverage she could keep over him, as the demon prosecutor turned the tables by forcing her back against the car door tightly grabbing hold of her waist. He wouldn't let her pull away until he was satisfied with the kiss. When he leaned back, they were both panting for air.

"...And you're a brat."

"Fuck you," Lyn breathed out.

"You certainly wish," the man said pressing his fingertips deeply into her hips in deliberation.

She moaned unused to this amount of roughness. She hated how good it felt. "Gah...that's...that's no fair."

"You don't like being defeated at your own game, is that right?"

Pouting, her only response was grab hold him of by his back and dig her nails in deep. "I...I might be interested in listening."

He liked the sensation of her sharp nails against his skin, but he wasn't done with her quite yet. "Mm. And what changed your mind?"

"Ngh...just say whatever dumb thing you had to say," she said trying to avoid the obvious truth.

"You were so adamant about ignoring me before," he said in amusement. He pressed his lips right against her ear. "I'm not one to be ignored, Lyn. I require all of your attention. All of it."

The woman was put on edge now. The goosebumps were clearly forming on her arms, as she shivered at his words.

"Perhaps, I will give you the same treatment if your response isn't satisfactory," he said teasingly as though he were talking aloud to himself.

Shit. She was caving. She couldn't let that happen. "I...I want..." Damn him. She wanted to be too proud, too proud to beg, but how he had turned the tables on her in this situation was making her crave him.

"Want what? I don't have all day," Miles said flippantly.

How cruel. She couldn't say she hated it. It made her think of the past boring encounters where she had been put on pedestals by the biggest ass kissers she had ever seen...and she couldn't stand it. So dull and inspired. She could do no wrong for those types of men. So, Miles perhaps wasn't boring after all...she appreciated his cruelty, ice king like mentality in a time like this.

In what was a shameful display in her opinion, she caved. "I...want you to just...fuck me..."

Miles laughed, perhaps one of the very few laughs he had all day. He knew how much she hated to submit to him. It was always a loss, even if she did ultimately enjoy it deep down.

"Why should I?" he asked. "State your case. You've been quite unkind to me, pressing my buttons."

She started to sweat. "Ngh..."

"So, I want one. Good. Reason," he said huskily, yanking her hair once more.

Oh God. She couldn't lose it now. Not now... "There's something in it for you."

"Hm? And what's that?"

She dug her nails into him deeper, nearly whining. "Miles, you ass! You already know!"

Miles laughed once more enjoying the desperation stewing within her. "Your sharp tongue fails to convince me, _dear wife._ "

"Argh...just get in the damn car!" she demanded in frustration.

"The car? And what are you suggesting we do there?"

She looked at him eyes pleading to just end this charade and to get it over with. They both wanted it. She wasn't sure if at this point she wanted to punch him or kiss for how he was dragging this all out.

Like the demon he was, he smirked. "What makes you think we're having 'our honeymoon' in Gumshoe's disgusting car?"

" _Darling husband_ , what is one more bad smell?" she argued.

If this were any normal circumstance, Miles would have instantly said no. But Gumshoe had ruined his day. He was tired. The parking lot appeared to be mostly vacant. And to have Lyn pleading with him to do her right then and there was enough to change his mind. He supposed he had had enough fun tormenting her...mostly.

Miles stripped the girl from his body and opened the closest backseat door. "Get in."

On command Lyn climbed inside, feeling the fire in only those two words. Shortly, he followed slamming the door shut behind him. She watched him, wondering what exactly he would do next.

"Come here," he commanded, without missing a beat. "On my lap."

Anxiously, she climbed over and did as she was told. "Are you ready to listen now?"

"Y-yes."

"I won't lie," he said squeezing her bosom, eliciting a moan from her. "You get on my nerves. And you're getting on my nerves now."

He continued feeling down the curves of her body, warming touch left upon her thighs. "It's dangerous for you to go back to your apartment, but the way you're acting is making me a bit dangerous..."

She swallowed. "Is that right...? What do you plan to do?"

"What makes you think I'll tell you?"

There it was, that haughtiness yet again. "Feh. You're still a jerk. But...I guess you're not _that_ boring."

"Well, you are clearly a brat. But _this_ situation isn't a pain." He couldn't say he would do anything this crazy with someone else. Rhoda was too docile to even think of a scenario like this, let alone provoke him. Lyn liked the power he had over her, but she wouldn't give in without a fight. For the women that would throw themselves at him, they lacked the same fighting spirit Lyn possessed. For better or for worse, her craziness certainly held his attention. And things were never too easy with her.

"So tell me, are you still intent on taking your things? Or will we work this out?"

"I want to work _something_ out in the very least. I don't want to fight, well, at least not like how we were before..."

"Then I suggest we clear the air," the man said. "I will give you one free pass, to do what you please."

"Hm? A free pass? What do you mean?" she asked turning back to face him.

"I saw how you looked earlier, like you wanted to beat me to a pulp. I'll give you an opportunity to let it go."

"Haha, you can't be serious."

"Do I look like I'm joking? Or maybe you're just a weakling?"

"Hey...Don't make me prove it."

"By all means go ahead," he said somewhat interested in what she'd do.

"Well...you asked for it!" she said. With a quick hand, she smacked him across the face. Already, she could see the red mark left upon his cheek. "Ha. That did actually feel good..."

She certainly didn't hold back. The sting was present and as suspected she was pretty mad. He recalled the same intensity of when she smacked him after a case awhile ago.

"...so good that at least one more time will help some more," she smirked as she attacked once more.

It caught him off guard, but he wasn't dazed for too long so he could catch her hand before she struck again. She was giggling up a storm.

"I said one. You know, I'm going to get you for that," he threatened playfully.

"Whatchu gonna do about it? Huh?" she poked his side with her free hand. Eager to see what came next.

Miles shoved her off without warning. In her confusion, she didn't have enough time to react as she was forced down in a position that reminded her of the child's pose, with her arms stretched out before her, ass up.

She gasped being reduced to nothing, as she could feel him directly behind her.

"This is my answer, you little brat..." Without hesitation, he yanked her ponytail and slammed the palm of his hand into her ass with such a force that she cried out. He smirked to himself as he repeated the motion over and over with little pause and increasing the force of the spanks.

When he was finished, she could feel her bottom stinging as though it were on fire. Yet, she was experiencing a strange wash of pain and pleasure, that she couldn't entirely describe.

"How's that?" he asked masking her body with his as he leaned into her ear. "Being a brat, I found that to be an appropriate punishment."

His words sent a shiver down her spine. And with the light feeling of his breath tickling her ear, she felt her desire growing. "Stop it," she pleaded.

"Stop what, exactly?"

"Stop teasing me, you asshole..."

"I do what I want with you," he growled as he smacked her bottom again, causing her to whimper. "Especially considering how _you_ were the one begging _me_ to fuck you. Isn't that, right?"

"Hn..."

"Admit it," he demanded. "You're a dirty little slut."

She flushed, perhaps the hardest she has ever flushed her entire life. In any other situation that would be a terrible thing to hear, but now it was driving wild. She had known Miles had been holding back with her, but wasn't aware to what extent until now...

"I..."

"I won't give it to you until you admit the truth."

"I'm...a dirty little slut..." she flushed.

"Yes, you're my dirty little slut," he said rife with amusement. "And what do you want now?"

The more the humiliation grew exponentially did her wetness. "I want...your cock inside of me..."

If was music to his ears. Not only was she begging for it, she was submitting to his will. It was making him harder by the second. "Ha...meine schlampe. Once more, what do you want?"

She wanted to cry. How could only words be doing this to her?! "I...want your cock inside of me...so please! Please just do it! I can't stand it anymore..."

Smirking, he felt her up from her breasts down, until he reached the clasp to undo her shorts. Once that obstruction was removed, he looked on in amusement. Her white panties were utterly drenched. He slid them down and taunted her heat with his fingers. She squirmed as he plunged them in and out. "Come on...I don't want your fingers..."

Heh. Miles undid the fly to his jeans. He had barely done anything, barely touched and yet... "Meine schlampe, be quiet. I know what you want."

"Hurry up..."

"You're greedy," he said as he plunged inside without warning. She whimpered at the suddenness, feeling full.

"Miles..."

He draped himself over her a bit more. "Didn't I tell you to be quiet? Such a child...what will make you behave? ...Hm. Open your mouth."

Quietly, she obliged opening her mouth wide, to have his three fingers forced into her mouth.

"Now, suck."

Flushing, she did as she was commanded, noticing that his fingers were a peculiar mix of salty and sweet.

"Do you like that, my little slut?" he asked as he thrust harshly into her, causing her to release a muffled moan. "That's what you taste like this very instant."

Her skin was on fire. That...that was her...she had no idea that's what that tasted like...

Holding his hand on her stomach, he kept a rather fast tempo as he continued to move in her. It was a shame that there was so little time, for if there was more he would have tormented her far more thoroughly. But this was just as well. He wouldn't admit it to her, but doing this in someone else's car and in public was getting him off to a certain degree...though not as much her needy pleading, for to him it was just like winning a hard sought after prize.

With the intensity of speed ramping up, she was beginning to feel dizzy, the knot in her stomach large and present, just waiting to release. Yet, with the fingers in her mouth the most she could do was moan...so she opted to suck as hard as she could on his fingers.

The sensation gave him goosebumps. He was close...and seeing as how his little slut started wet to begin with he assumed she was on her way to satisfaction as well. His traveling hands teased her curves for a moment, before sinking below her stomach right to her clit. And being the mean demon he was, he was far from gentle...

"Mmphhh!" This guy...it was like he hit the right note on the piano! That hazy feeling was hovering over her, and with the pressure on her clit in edition to the deep thrusts, her body gave way, knot untangling so much that she bit down on his fingers.

Miles weakly laughed, noticing her shakiness and how she'd lowered her body slightly down. "You came, my little slut? Well, your going to again because I'm not finished..."

He pushed faster and faster until eventually he came, bringing Lyn with him once more. This time it felt as though she had been ejected from her own body and into outer space. Panting, he slowly pulled out of her, leaning back into the car seat. Trembling nonstop, Lyn just dropped face down into the backseat. Damn Miles...once was good, but twice made her feel like she'd been knocked out by Mike Tyson!

No one spoke for some time, basking in the devilishness of the act.

"Miles..." she breathed. "Why the hell are you so mean?"

"Hm? Shouldn't you be fulfilled now, whiny brat?" he smirked in reply.

Lyn crawled over to him and kissed his cheek and then his neck, or so he thought as he realized a bit too late that she was sucking the skin. He shoved her off of him, but she only laughed. "Too late muahaha. I think it looks good on you."

The demon prosecutor rubbed the now sensitive area over his neck in annoyance. How dare she give him a hickey...he was going to move to retaliate but she spoke again. "You made me really sore...so I hope it hurt a little."

"Ah, well you've failed in that case. A hickey is not even comparable to the damage I've given you."

She pouted. Stupid Miles always winning. But it would be rather boring for her to win, she wouldn't admit it outwardly but things like this were always tests of strength for her. A boring guy would let her think she's won. But Miles would just destroy her without mercy and she was into it.

"I...did we really do that?" Lyn asked fidgeting with her fingers.

He took a deep breath, suddenly realizing how worn out he really was. At least he was satisfied. "Indeed, it was no dream."

"Do you think they'll notice?" she asked.

"Probably. But I doubt Gumshoe would have the gall to ask us if we did anything," he yawned.

Miles had a point there. We were friends, but we did have a higher level of authority over him. In a way, this was sorta fucked up. But at this point, she didn't care. The deed was done.

"Tired?"

"It's been a long day," he mused. "Are you suggesting you aren't?"

She shook her head. "How could I not be after that?"

He gave a small smile in response. It was strange how this had even happened to begin with but he couldn't say he regretted this part.

"...I'm sorry about the wedding. I should have read more thoroughly," he started. "On top of that, I am also sorry for my harsh words earlier."

"It's...okay. We can fix it Monday," Lyn sighed. Then she gave a smile of partial amusement. "Though, it's not as mean as what you said a little while ago."

"The difference being, you liked it," he remarked smugly.

"Yeah, well...anyway..." There was a red tint spreading across her cheeks. A gentleman in the streets, but surprisingly foul under the sheets. Or in this case, in the parking lot of some poor sod's car. "I'm sorry too. You're not really boring...just interesting in your own way."

"So, are we quite done with this debacle now?"

"Ya. It's only cool to be mad for so long, right?" she chuckled. "But have to admit it turned into something fun."

"...I concede." He would not deny that, unless it's excruciatingly awful sex, sex was always fun.

Seeing that they were cool again, she hugged him. With a sigh, he returned it. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Lyn started laughing quietly to herself.

"I'm almost half afraid to ask, but what is so funny?"

"Isn't it just ironic how Gumshoe invited us on a double date that started to tear us apart rather than bring us together?"

Miles considered it. From dealing with Angel and Jake to the unplanned wedding... Gumshoe was the true enemy at the end of the day. He invited them to the park and from there it spiraled downhill fast. He wasn't at all sorry about the lingering smell this car would have for a week if not longer.

"Speaking of Gumshoe, what happened to them?" Miles asked. "After the saloon we didn't see him or Maggey at all."

"Huh. You're right. Maybe they're out having a ball?"

"Hmph. Lucky them if that's the case."

Well, they should be done by now, Lyn hoped. It was starting to get dark. She looked out the back window of the car. Speak of the devil. The two of them were making their way back to the car about maybe 15 feet away now. Gumshoe's figure was impossible to miss, so it was definitely them.

"They're coming now," she said in a hushed tone. Coming to her senses, weakly she pulled up her bottoms, feeling mildly uncomfortable due to the wetness. But it was only a small price to pay.

"Lovely. Just act normal, like we just got here," Miles rolled his eyes. It was foolish to think especially sitting in the man's vehicle, but he wished they hadn't returned. It would have been nice to enjoy a bit more serenity, but alas fate was against him. Quickly, he adjusted himself. Or...tried to.

"Fuck..."

"Huh? What's wrong?" It wasn't like Miles to curse at that level. But she soon saw the problem.

"Ah! Jesus! A-are you okay? That looks..." she covered her mouth. Ugh, it looked excruciating!

Of all things to happen, especially now! There couldn't be a worse or more painful sensation than a man's private parts caught on a zipper. And if there something more, he didn't want to know.

Lyn looked back out of the window- they were getting closer.

"H-hey, they're almost here! Do...you need help?"

"No!" he snapped, red in the face from the pain. "Don't touch it!"

She truly felt bad for him, but he knew best about his junk and how to handle it.

The side door opened as Maggey and Gumshoe were happily chatting away. Lyn quickly maneuvered to place her head in Miles' lap, to make sure nooooo one saw that painful display.

"Well, they weren't too bad," Maggey said climbing in, shutting the door.

"Yeah, guess so. Thought her cane was a little scary though..." Gumshoe replied, slamming the drivers side door shut. He turned to face the couple in the backseat. "Hey! How was your day? We missed you guys since we got stuck on the rollercoaster for half the day."

Maggey sighed. "I'm sure my bad luck had it in for us...But on the plus side we met a really nice couple up there!"

"Minus that weird fox kid they had talking about...OGs?"

"Oh, I see," Lyn smiled forcibly, doing her best not to move. The Kitakis liked Westerns? "Well, maybe you'll have better luck the next time you go. We had a great time! But uh, we got a bit tired so we headed back to your car to wait for you here."

Miles grimaced as he gave a slight nod, still attempting to perform the jaws of life on his downstairs problem.

"Well good! We oughta do this again sometime," Gumshoe beamed happily as he began to turn around.

"Mmph!"

"What was that, Mr. Edgeworth?"

"Don't mind him! He... would just prefer that next time, we'd pick a location," Lyn laughed awkwardly.

"Ahh, sure that sounds great," the detective said, turning his back to them.

Oh thank God. Now, all that was left was-

"Hey, do you guys smell something strange?" asked Maggey.

"...Yeah, you're right," Gumshoe said taking a whiff. "I really gotta clean her out soon."

"Obviously, I've been telling you to do it for a while, gummy. But this is a different smell _entirely_...sort of like se-"

"Yeah, well, you know the funny thing was, it smelled like that when we came in here a couple of minutes ago. Super weird, right Miles?" Lyn played it up as best she could.

She could still feel Miles trying to adjust himself. Jeez. She started to wish he would just let her help so they could have an uneventful ride back already...

The man winced as he forced out an answer. "In...deed..."

"Hmm..."

"Well, let's just get some air in here for now. I'll give it a deep clean later," Gumshoe said, hitting the buttons to roll down the windows.

Yeah, you'll need one, the girl thought to herself. With Maggey and Gumshoe finally, both looking forward, Lyn sat herself up. In a couple of seconds, the engine revved up, and the radio started blaring:

 _Once upon a time not so long ago..._

Oh god, anything but this, Miles thought. He recognized this dumb Bon Jovi song off the bat, and he didn't need it now...

But as if Gumshoe hated him, the large man bobbed his head up and down and turned the volume up even higher than it was as Maggey clapped her hands excitedly. As he backed out of the parking lot and onto the highway, him and Maggey started "singing" if one could even call their guttural sounds that.

 _Tommy used to work on the docks, union's been on strike_  
 _He's down on his luck, it's tough, so tough_  
 _Gina works the diner all day working for her man_  
 _She brings home her pay, for love, for love_

 _She says, we've got to hold on to what we've got_  
 _It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not_  
 _We've got each other and that's a lot for love_  
 _We'll give it a shot_

Then the pair of them looked at each other at a red light and wailed:

 _Woah, we're half way there_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_  
 _Take my hand, we'll make it I swear_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_

Taking a breath, Miles looked down once more at the horror. He had managed to almost remove it...but it seemed he needed one more good yank. He swallowed hard, imagining the painful sensation...but if he didn't he'd surely be noticed. And worse than noticed, still living in extreme discomfort. One hand holding his dear friend with the other holding on to the evil contraption called a zipper, he found himself frozen.

 _Tommy's got his six-string in hock_  
 _Now he's holding in what he used to make it talk_  
 _So tough, it's tough_  
 _Gina dreams of running away_  
 _When she cries in the night, Tommy whispers_  
 _Baby, it's okay, someday_

"You have to do it!" Lyn whispered, as she watched the shaky hand hesitating.

"You don't think I know that?" he hissed back.

"If you don't do it, I will!"

"No!"

"Then hurry up and get it over with!"

 _We've got to hold on to what we've got_  
 _It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not_  
 _We've got each other and that's a lot for love_  
 _We'll give it a shot_

He wouldn't admit it, but she was right. And he really didn't want her to touch this. She might break him. Wincing, he held his breath and took a plunge into tomorrow, giving the evil device a forceful tug.

"NGHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled out. Lyn nervously looked down; at least that problem was solved. Painfully so, but solved.

 _Woah, we're half way there_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_

Gumshoe and Maggey started cheering. "Yeah, Mr. Edgeworth!"

"Didn't know you had vocals like that sir!"

Miles was red in the face, leaning back on the seat. He hadn't known he could yell like that either, though he wasn't sure what irritated him more: the fact that his privates were stuck there to begin with or the fact that they believed him to be partaking in their impromptu karaoke sessions, enjoying the song.

 _Take my hand, we'll make it I swear_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_  
 _Livin' on a prayer_

He wasn't at all religious, but sometimes Miles wondered if a god existed and if he just hated his very existence. How much pain could one man endure in a single day? He leaned his head against the window with his eyes shut, trying his best to drown out the singing. That awful noise! But at least his privates had been salvaged. If not painfully so. With any luck, he wouldn't be sore for too long. His only solace now was that Lyn, actually showed that she indeed had a heart and didn't take part in singing until his ears bled. If he were to pray, he'd only pray for the radio to break down, but he was certain that the gods weren't that kind.

 _Oh, we've got to hold on, ready or not_  
 _You live for the fight when it's all that you've got_  
 _Woah, we're half way there_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_  
 _Take my hand, we'll make it I swear_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_

Lyn looked upon him with pity. She would have hugged him, but it was apparent that the demon prosecutor didn't want to be bothered with the world at the moment. She awkwardly gave him a pat on the shoulder, which was only met with a glare. So, she let him be and decided to be kind whenever they arrived home.

 _Woah, we're half way there_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_  
 _Take my hand, we'll make it I swear_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_

 _Woah, we're half way there_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_  
 _Take my hand, we'll make it I swear_  
 _Woah, livin' on a prayer_

The idiots finished, hooping and hollering. "Bon Jovi is legend!"

"You're telling me! Still happy you took me to see him last year!"

"Aw shucks, it was nothing. It was a lot of fun!" laughed Gumshoe, slightly turning down the radio. Miles opened his eyes slightly at the lessening sound. Had his prayers been answered?

"No way, it was everything!" Maggey leaned forward as close as possible, until her shoulder was touching Gumshoe's and kissed him deeply.

Blargh, Miles wanted to gag at the sight. He was of course, happy that his friend had a lovely companion, but boy did PDA squick him out especially when it looked like she was eating Gumshoe's mouth whole made him want to bury himself alive. Lyn turned away from the display, grimacing. For her a quick peck was cool, but damn, they might use the car after them, with the way she was eyeing Gumshoe like a steak.

Miles and Lyn obviously had no right to complain and were well aware of the fact, having done deeds in this vehicle. However, they both felt uncomfortable watching their love fest before them. They exchanged eye contact with each other, having a silent conversation in the back.

'Gross.'

'Agreed.'

"Woah, Mags, slow down," he chuckled. "Save some for home!"

"Sorry, Gummy bear, just got carried away," she said happily running a hand over his as he rested it on the steering wheel. "Now you got me _all_ _excited_!"

No! TMI! TMI! It was as though the two of them were in their own little world and forgotten about anyone in back. Miles was trying desperately to delete the imagined image of Maggey and Gumshoe getting freaky out of his mind like a computer. He began to wonder things he shouldn't wonder...Things such as does Gumshoe say Pal during the deed? Does Maggey have awful bad luck during their alone times? Could be as terrible as anything like his privates caught on a zipper? Or worse? Ugh, it might just become the next best thing to cure an erection next to Oldbag!

Lyn made a motion to slit her throat, while Miles tied an imaginary noose around his neck. There they vowed NEVER to do a double date with the two of the again. For now on, they were just always (in)conveniently tied up with work.

Another 30 minutes, too many sickeningly sweet displays to count and 5 more bar songs later, they finally, finally, made it to the outside of Miles' house. Lyn eagerly hopped out, saying her goodbyes to Maggey and Gumshoe, while Miles slowly and carefully climbed out muttering his thanks.

"Thanks for coming! Let's do this again another time!" Gumshoe said with a wave as he zoomed off.

With that, it was finally over. They watched as the rickety, now worse smelling car, left the property barreling down the street and away from them under the light of the moon. What a trip.

"We're free!" Lyn breathed, doing a small victory dance.

Miles only grunted in response as he dragged his feet to the porch, unlocking the door. Never could he have imagined this day to unfold the way it did. But now, he could finally, finally, just relax. The defeated man, shuffled to his couch and lied down without a word. He was free. Free from the park. Free from the noise. Free from Gumshoe! FREE!

It was the most undignified display Miles had ever shown, at least consciously in front of her, she thought amused to herself as she shut and locked the door behind her. Of course, she felt sorry for him, but it was rare that he ever seemed to be so tore down and exhausted, definitely not enough to curl up on the couch. It was kind of cute to see.

Smiling to herself, Lyn walked passed him into the kitchen to check on Pess, who had been excited to see humans again. She pet her for a while and then replenished her bowl with water and food. When she returned, Miles remained in the same position. Laughing quietly to herself, she walked over. "Do you mind if I sit with you?"

A muffled yes was the response.

"Aww...what would it take for you to let me?"

"You are only allowed to be near me, if you act as my pillow."

At first she blinked, but then chuckled. "Alright, boss."

Grumbling to himself, Miles sat himself up, waiting for Lyn to take a seat. She took a seat at the right end of the couch and not any sooner, did he lay his head in her lap.

It was certainly a first. He'd never put his head in her lap ever. She didn't think he was the type. But she guessed he hadn't been kidding about being over today. Poor guy.

"I'm sorry," Lyn said as she laid a hand on his head gently.

"No," he said. "You _will_ be sorry later."

She repressed her urge to outright laugh. She knew full well she would be doomed tomorrow, but the fact that he was still trying to threaten her so exhausted was cracking her up on the inside.

"So is it too late to ask for forgiveness?"

"It passed the day you accepted that offer."

"You're savage."

" _You're_ savage, woman," he muttered. "You had no mercy dragging me along for the ride."

"Alright, I get it I'm an evil person," she sighed, stroking his head.

"Yes," he said. "I hate you."

"Mhm."

"So much," he said as he sat up and pulled her legs up across the couch. He lied back down, wrapping his arms around her squeezing her as tight as a frightened child holding on to their doll for dear life. "That you are resigned to be my body pillow for the rest of the evening."

She couldn't move, and was effectively trapped, squished into the back of the couch. "Miles-"

He squeezed tighter in response. "Be quiet."

"But-"

"Pillows don't talk."

Lyn resigned with a sigh.

In Miles language he was saying: "I'm too tired to kill you now. So, for now shut up if you really insist on having to stay around me. Brat." Which would further translate to: "Tomorrow when I decimate you, things will be fine, but until then, I sorta hate you. You're lucky I'm allowing you to stay in my presence. It's a privilege. Also, I want a hug even though I am never going to admit to this outright, so shut up and hold me."

But after today, it was understandable that he wanted some peace and quiet. Though, for how long the peace and quiet would last, it would be anyone's guess. Knowing that a brutal fate awaited her tomorrow, she decided to enjoy this moment while it lasted, opting to wrap her arms around the grumpy prosecutor.


	9. Love Trial

_AN: We're back! Today Miles finally gets his revenge on Lyn for agreeing to that ordeal. **Only a few more chapters left**! Thanks again to my good friend JordanPhoenix for letting me pick her brain for ideas. That said, it's time for Lyn's suffering! _

_Jack54311: Yes, I'm aware! That's why I add warnings, so you can skip if you want :). I'm glad you enjoyed the rest, it was fun to write haha. It sounds like a super painful experience. I wince even though I don't have those parts, man! I imagine Edgeworth's part in the song as his remix xD. Haha, they definitely wouldn't keep the marriage under that weird circumstance. And yes, this is canon to FT. It's other stuff that happened offscreen lol._

 _DJJ680: Art._

 _SUPERStarz13: Loooooool. I don't even recall if I've had sriracha. But this was probably more on the spicy side. Never too sweet for me. Vin Diesel keychains should be everywhere._

 _JordanPhoenix: Miles has to have his beautiful face hit sometimes xD. I doubt he'd allow slapping of the other cheek haha. It's hard not to like Bon Jovi, but Miles is a snob to me music wise xD. Can't win them all and well Jake's got some balls himself hehe. Nope! No one likes manual labor especially someone as lazy as Lyn! I agree; Miles had a rough day, so rough he'd probably find it preferable to do heavy lifting from the break of dawn til night xD. Yep they were both cruel to each other this time around, but can't be toooooooo nice for them haha. Miles is already a jerk and Lyn definitely has a bad temper so yeep it can get ugly with below the belt hits._

 _Maybe Miles just saw so many eye sores that like Gumshoe and Maggey eating each others faces and that's really what led him to getting some specs lol. And yes,_ _his garbled cries of pain added to the song I think, as all I could hear in my head was "NGhooooo we're halfway there, nghooooooOOoo living on prayer!" XD. Well, at least they made some of the stank enjoyable, otherwise it's like the stench of stinky feet, old food, and wet clothes lol. Now, mixed with the aftermath of a good time xD. Hehe she might enjoy doing something like that._

 _Hahaha I doubt anyone wants to keep that marriage, done so nonchalantly with the worst vows ever. And in Miles' case the worst outfit ever xDDDDD. With the location from hell on top of it. LOL if that were broken that would be a good excuse to dissolve, but hopefully it wouldn't come to that xD._

* * *

Miles didn't let Lyn move for at least an hour on the couch until he decided he wanted to get actual sleep in a more spacious location. Grumbling to himself, the prosecutor had grabbed and slung her over his shoulder as he turned out all the lights and dragged himself upstairs to the bedroom.

She didn't get a say in the matter, still playing the role of pillow. But not like the woman wanted to talk much anymore then, with physical exhaustion setting in. Settled in under covers, he had resumed the same position he had kept on the couch, grabbing hold of the woman tightly, though whether to bother her or for his own comfort, it was hard for her tell. But it didn't matter, they were both so tired that they went to sleep without bothering to change their clothes.

When Lyn awoke the next bright and early morning after the overly eventful day at the amusement park, she yawned. She still felt worn out from the whole thing. Without a doubt they would never except any offers from Maggey or Gumshoe again. Lyn figured it was a terrible mix of Maggey's bad luck and her own trouble magnet tendencies that caused the day to turn into a nightmare.

The cheeky prosecutor noticed that there was a lack of warmth surrounding her. Miles must have gotten up early. She was surprised that he didn't bother waking her, since that was one of his preferred methods of torture. And without a doubt something awful was awaiting her today- she felt this instinctively.

Moving to raise her arm in an attempt to stretch out, she felt a cold steely sensation on her wrist. "Huh? What's that?"

"Good morning, Lyn," the deep voice said in an almost sing song tone.

Uhoh.

She whipped her head towards the direction of his voice. Miles was already dressed, and now standing on the right side of the bed looking down at her, wearing a devilish expression.

Lyn didn't like that. Miles NEVER sounded chipper and he most certainly rarely looked ready to take out a pitch fork. It was time to get away as quickly as possible. She knew the time of reckoning was upon her. But when she tried to get up, she was pulled back. Turning to look at her wrist, she realized the cool sensation was from handcuffs locking her to one of the pillars in the headboard of the bed.

He looked down at her vulnerable position in delight. The demon prosecutor had the girl right where he wanted. "I hope you slept well because you have a lot of hard work ahead of you today."

"Miles...why am I cuffed?" she broke out into a cold sweat. Oh lord. Whatever he had planned it wasn't gonna be good for her. If it wasn't cold blooded murder, she wasn't certain what he'd do...

"Just a precautionary measure," he said nonchalantly. "I wanted, no _needed_ , to have a talk with you about something important and you can't leave until your answers are satisfactory."

Lyn continued to try to slip out of the cuff, rotating her wrist over and over. "A t-talk about what?"

"About yesterday," he said.

"Yes, well, what about it?" she said quickly, steadily growing more anxious by the second. Yes, he had a miserable time, but what more could be said? ...Maybe he really was going to ax murder her. She could almost see him holding a giant ax over head ready to swing it down upon, hacking her into tiny bite sized pieces and he cackled in glee.

"What were you doing with Jake Marshall the entire time I wasn't there?" he asked rhythmically tapping his index finger against his arm.

"Nothing, just talking," Lyn said. Is that it? Was he serious? Is that why he had her locked to the headboard?

"Is that right? _Just_ talking?" Miles pressed. He was certain it wasn't the whole story.

"Yup. Only talking, I swear. Not like he kissed me like Angel or anything," she huffed, reeling at the memory of that gross display. That skank was lucky Lyn didn't think of anything worse, for she had other ideas that were overboard she didn't put into practice.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk," he smirked. "I've caught you red handed. You should know better than to try to pull the wool over my eyes."

Seriously? What could he be on about? "W-what are you talking about?"

"Don't lie to me, Lyn. You know it never turns out well for you," Miles said opening his palm to reveal an ice cube. The truth would come out, one way or another.

"What're you doing with that…?"

He answered her question by lifting up her t-shirt and sitting the melting cube on her stomach.

"Ah!"

"Now, I'll ask you again," he said sliding the ice cube farther up her exposed skin. "What were you _really_ doing?"

"I-I d-don't know what y-you're talking about!" Lyn said trying to grab his hand with her free arm. But it was almost as though her arm didn't exist since he continued tracing her exposed skin without a problem. He was crazy! She had no idea what he was going on about, since she had done nothing wrong!

She whimpered and squirmed over the chill of the cube against her sensitive skin. Amused at her very apparent feeling of discomfort, Miles pulled out a small trinket, a cactus toy. "If you were just talking, explain this."

"Um…" Crap. Lyn fidgeted, now seeing where this was going. The cube, had finally melted, but the relief was only temporary, for an explanation for that was required.

"You didn't have this earlier, and certainly didn't acquire it in my presence, so just where did you get it?"

The woman clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "At the park."

"And where at the park did you get it?"

"...From Jake," she reluctantly admitted.

"I see," Miles shook his head. "Why did he give it to you?"

She flushed, averting eye contact. "He got it...because he just wanted to get rid of it."

"Oh really?" he asked. "Look at me and say it."

A quick feeling of panic arose within her. She began to sweat again, unable to maintain a stable body temperature. One second she was freezing up and the next she was on fire! Miles was certainly a pro at unsettling her. Nervously, she forced her head back to look at the steely grey eyes. "He got it...he got it…"

He waited. Unfortunately for Lyn, the lie wasn't coming out. It was impossible to lie when he looked at her like that, with such a piercing glare that threatened to cut through all of the bullshit. Her alibi was no more. She didn't think she'd get caught, but she was officially screwed.

"What. Did. He. Say. Why did he give it to you?" he demanded.

"H-he gave it to me cause…"

Impatient, Miles laid his hands on her stomach. "Tell me. Or the next step, will be what I believe you call a 'purple nurple'."

"A-alright!" she gulped. She saw that he was dead serious. And if he did, it would hurt because 90 percent of the time he was rough. It was a good thing Miles wasn't a police officer. He had the bad cop thing down to a science. "It...he said he gave it to me because I reminded him of some other cute girl he knew..."

Miles, released his hold and then folded his arms. He was clearly displeased, though seemingly not all that surprised at the revelation. Lyn took a moment to catch her breath.

"I mean, n-not like that means anything to me!" she added quickly. "It was...just…um..."

His harsh expression didn't falter.

"I-I like attention, okay? It's hard to turn it down from a cool guy like that…" she frowned at first, but rebounded with a nervous smile, the type a criminal caught redhanded would wear. "But! It's just a toy...so let's just forget about it?"

"Oh, but what about the rest?" the man asked in a sardonic fashion.

"The...rest?" There was that sinking sensation again, the one that felt like a weight had been dropped into her stomach.

Miles was relentless. He vowed he would make her remember every one of her crimes against him yesterday. "When you abandoned me in that cell, what exactly happened afterwards?"

"Uhm. Well," she thought back. "I explained that you weren't a bad guy and that he was gonna see if our stories matched up. And…"

...Oops.

With an awkward laugh, Lyn realized the problem. "Then I saw the shooting display and thought it was cool. And Jake offered to show me how it worked."

"And then?"

"...And then we did that and he told me about the lassoing range. And we went to that."

He waited for the whole story.

She sighed, growing more anxious by the second. "And um, we checked out a bunch of other rides and games until we met up at the bull riding thing."

"Is that _just_ talking, Lyn?"

"...No," she murmured, like a student being scolded by their teacher.

"And what's more, is that I saw him buying you food and laying his hands on you as though you _awfully_ familiar," Miles said with genuine irritation at the memory.

"I-is that right…?"

"So, the entire time, you were on a date with Jake Marshall," he accused.

"No!" Lyn protested. "It wasn't a date!"

"He was doing all the things I could have potentially done, if not for, being forgotten and left to rot in that joke cell."

"But-"

"To be frank, I'm disappointed."

"Miles…"

"I didn't even want to go in the first place. And for you to do a thing like that."

"I didn't mean it, I swear!" she pleaded.

He folded his arms, looking down on her disdainfully.

"No...I'm sorry. I'm really sorry…"

"I'm sorry you'd do something so hurtful behind my back."

"Ack! No...it wasn't like that I swear! I just got distracted and...and...and-"

"How could you forget about me like that?"

Every word was hammering a nail through her heart. "I…I'm sorry..."

He looked so cold, so distant, like a ruler looking down at his soldiers in disgust at their poor performance.

"Come on, Miles...I said I was sorry."

"Why do you think sorry will just instantly solve the problem?"

There were no other words she could come up with. Lyn had been used to him being mad at her, but this was different. Miles wasn't even really mad. He was more disappointed and upset with her than anything else and that made it a lot harder to take.

"I didn't mean for any of that to happen yesterday…" she started again.

"Really? It didn't seem like that," he glared.

The tone of voice he was giving her was so icy...and she wished he wouldn't look at her in that manner.

She opened her mouth to speak, but instantly closed it. What could she say besides sorry?

"Why didn't you say no to that?"

"...I don't know," she just let herself be dragged around by Jake. It seemed like a lot more fun than being with Miles when he was just so grumpy about the predicament. Lyn felt really bad now. She hadn't meant to do that. She had been severely distracted. And well, would you pass up the chance to see what it was like hanging out with a character pretty much forgotten?

"I'm s -"

"I don't want to hear anymore of that."

"It wasn't anything serious! Please just overlook it."

He said nothing. She frowned, slumping on the floor. She really didn't think anything of it, heck she didn't she'd even be caught.

"How can I know you won't do it with other guys when I'm not there? Or something more?" he asked.

"I won't, I swear…"

"But you do so many things, you swear not to, Lyn. It's harder and harder to trust you. Your list of offenses just continues to grow," Miles started to walk away, giving her one last look of scorn. "I have to take the time out to think of what I should do now."

"Wait," she said pathetically, with a trembling lip. She did the only other thing she could think of. Foolishly, she reached for his hand with her uncuffed hand and held it as she looked at the man pleadingly.

"What?" he tapped impatiently. "Don't further waste my time."

"Miles please! I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, but I'm sorry that I did...I know I messed up. I probably have a long list of offenses against you by now. So I guess if you were to lock me up and throw away the key, I guess...I deserve it."

He was unmoved still icily staring her down, making her feel like the defendant in court, with him as the judge, jury, and executioner.

"I know I screw up a lot, but I'm not sure what I'd do if you'd go now. And...and... I know I can be annoying sometimes, I know I can be mean to you, and there are plenty of times I don't listen to you when I should...but no other stupid guy could replace you...you..."

She flushed deeply at the next thing she felt burrowing inside of her. An obvious statement, but one she probably didn't express enough. Her last argument.

"You're really special to me...! And I- I like you a lot...okay? Others can't compare. I'll do better! I promise to work really hard for you and be better! ...So please don't look at me like that anymore," she requested in a quiet voice that could just barely be heard.

His expression didn't falter. She bowed her head sadly.

Lyn figured it probably wouldn't do anything and that he'd upset with her for all of eternity, not just a temporary disappointment he would normally have toward her after some crazy incident, but something that could potentially last weeks...months even… but she did her best to express that she did care about him and that well he was...important to her in more ways than one.

Without warning, something had grabbed her. When she looked up, she realized he was hugging her. Her eyes widened. ...But why? Didn't he hate her guts? In confusion, she wrapped her free arm around him, feeling somehow more guilty. She determined he must have been really upset to do that.

After a couple of minutes had passed, Miles pulled back... back with an unmistakable self satisfied smirk.

It was then she understood. "You-!"

He didn't allow her to finish, instead pressing his lips onto hers for a deep kiss. When he finished he had in a lazy fashion hung himself over her shoulders. Pressing his lips against her ear, he asked: "Did you like it? My little joke?"

"That-that was no joke…! You're evil! Evil incarnate!" she said tearing up.

He let out a low rumble of laughter in response to her misery. "That was the best way I could teach you a lesson."

"You're so cruel…" the girl sniffed.

"Well," he said sharply. "They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I wanted to remind you that _you_ are only supposed to be focused on only _me_."

Something about the way he said, sent a shiver down her spine.

He felt a smidgen bad for pushing it that far, but for him it was fair for the hell he was put through the other day. At the same time it was cute to him seeing her get so worked up over it all, pleading for his forgiveness over something so silly. He could somewhat see the appeal of taunting people after pulling this stunt. Their reactions were indeed quite entertaining to witness if the joke was done successfully.

"But I'm truly moved by your dedication," he continued in amusement. "It was _oh so_ cute when you said I was special to you..."

"Sh-shut up..."

"And how you like me a lot and how others can't compare..."

"I said shut up!" she flushed harder.

Miles laughed enjoying every second of what was simply the beginning of Lyn's torture for the day. "And it's even better that I have it on camera."

She gasped. "You didn't!"

He pointed to the camera set in the back of the room left on top of the long dresser triumphantly. "I most certainly did."

"Miles!" she fumed. "I'm burning it!"

"This footage is going somewhere... where you'll never find it," the demon prosecutor smirked. "I think, it truly holds a special place in my heart being the day Lyn pleads for my forgiveness, while admitting how much I mean to her, as well as how ridiculous she is on a regular basis...Is there anymore I could want?"

"Ooooooooooo..." from worried to scared, the woman chained to the bed turned quickly to anger. "You are so going to pay for this..."

Edgeworth brushed her off with a laugh as he grabbed the camera. He walked back over to the bedside with the camera held directly in front of Lyn. "Anything else you'd like to say?"

"Screw you, Miles!" she raised a middle finger to him and the camera.

Cracking up further, the man turned off the recording and strolled out of the room. Miles figured he'd put this glorious footage away in _that_ spot that Lyn didn't know about.

"Get back here!" she yelled as he just walked away leaving her cuffed. She couldn't believe she felt bad for yesterday after that! Her next prank she would destroy Miles!

When he returned he was still in high spirits.

"Let me out of here so I can murder you!"

"Hm..." he stroked his chin for a moment. "I think not. To be fair you've been acting rather unruly lately, so I think the cuff is working just fine."

"Tch!"

"Or if that doesn't please you, should we invest in a leash?" he asked mockingly.

"No! Quit it and let me out, you big jerk!" He took a seat beside her, and grabbed hold of her face with a single hand. This action alone was enough to slow down the rage bubbling over.

"Oh? Then stop acting like a lost dog." His words maintained a cruel edge despite Lyn knowing he was toying with her.

"Uwwwwww. You're _really_ mean today…" she pouted.

"Not mean, just honest," he said matter of fact. "But I suppose without a leash, you could have tags."

"Huh…? What do you mean?"

"There's a simple way of claiming you," he said smirking. "In fact, let me show you, right now."

"What are you-"

Miles had pushed her down, with another gleefully evil glint in his eyes. She couldn't get away, still linked to the bed. But it wouldn't have mattered since he always caught her. When it was over, she frowned…

"Miles…!" she whined.

Content with his work, he only chuckled in response, admiring every spot.

"Why...why did you give this many hickeys? Two would have been more than enough!" There were some on her arms, neck, and even her legs! These weren't going away any time soon either and work was tomorrow. He had done this completely on purpose…

"Ah, you think it was too much? My sincerest apologies..." he remarked in a mocking tone.

"Grr..."

"Now, that that fun part is over with," he said unlocking the cuff with the key he had in his pocket. "Get dressed. Your outfit is in the guest room."

"What? You're still making me wear the dumb costume?!" she asked rubbing her wrist.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Isn't scaring me half to death and torturing me enough?"

"I don't think so," he shrugged. "It's only about 8. There's much for you to do for today's itinerary."

"Jeeeez..."

He pinched her cheek. "I'm not to hear a peep out of you today about how unfair it is. Today, you will serve my every whim _happily._ "

"Happily? Don't be ridiculous."

"You did say something like how I meant the world to you and how you'd work harder on my behalf, so you should have no problem."

She flushed. Curse her mouth.

"And I have set up the appropriate guidelines for the ways I'm to be treated and referred to. All things have been left in the guest room."

She went to swat him with her hand over how over the top this all was. But he quickly grabbed her hand and clamped her side.

"Ow!"

"There will be none of that. You'll face _dire_ consequences if you disobey my orders."

"What could be worse than this?" she grumbled.

"...Would you like to find out?"

She gulped. He looked happy to say that. That's when she knew whatever he had planned was awful. This was going to be a long day.

"No...sir."

"I'm glad you're seeing it my way," he smirked. "Now go. You have 30 minutes to prepare yourself. Don't be late."

Miles left the room emanating cockiness. Lyn sneered at him behind his back the second he had walked out. Jerk, she thought. He had the nerve to scare the living bejesus out of her, film it, and then have her go along with this stupid costume? The girl still had no idea what he was planning to do to her throughout the day and that was probably the most nerve-wracking aspect, considering how the morning started...

Exhaling, she exited the bedroom to the bathroom. Lyn determined she'd best clean herself up and enjoy her final moments of peace. After the shower, she headed to the guest room to see what the hubbub was about.

She found a note left on the bed which read:

 _The servant can only refer to her master in such terms:_

 _Master_

 _Master Miles_

 _Lord Miles_

 _Milord_

 _Miles Lord and Savior_

 _Sir_

 _Dearest_

 _My Love_

 _His Majesty_

 _Additionally, the servant must:_

 _Commit to all tasks with a smile_

 _Use a gentle touch_

 _Not use foul language_

 _Wear the attire at all times_

 _Do any and everything her master desires without complaint_

 _If any of the above rules are broken, the servant will be_ _ **severely**_ _punished without hesitation._

Goddamn Miles...Who did he think he was?! She crumbled the note in her hand and tossed it across the room.

Thank God it was only a day of this mess. Lyn wouldn't tolerate anymore than that. Once this was over, she'd be planning the most elaborate scheme ever! It'd be the biggest thing she'd ever done to rebel against him yet! He wouldn't know what hit him!

But she sighed as she dried off, looking at the costume laid out on the bed. Well, it looked stupid. It was exactly what you'd expect when you thought of a maid costume, tiny black dress with all the lacy white trimmings.

Grumbling to herself, she decided to get her misery over with by putting the dumb thing on. Of course, Miles had bought an incredibly high cut exposing costume, the jerk. It was done on purpose as Lyn wasn't a fan of feminine attire for the most part, especially ones that sought to show so much skin... She supposed she should be grateful for the white thigh socks that also came with the costume. At least there was SOMETHING to help her feel somewhat less exposed.

On the ground, was a pair of black high heels. She frowned deeply, realizing this was a part of the outfit. Not only would she feel awkward she'd also be in pain by the end of the day.

Grudgingly, the dress, socks, shoes, and the silly headband found their current home as the woman hastily threw them on. She shuffled out of the room taking one final breath as normal snarky Lyn. Today was gonna be a looooonnnnnng day...


	10. The Wrath of the Demon Prosecutor

_AN: Jeez, I'm finally back! I've had a lot to deal with in my life, so sorry for the delay. With this one up, I'm nearly done with the next FT chapter so I'm slowly getting back on track. Hope you guys are amused by Miles' revenge plot in this one!_ _Dumb? Probably. But Lyn deserved it lol._ _The punishment maybe is twisted in a way like the amusement park revenge, but in a different way._

 _JordanPhoenix: Yeah, this turned out to be interesting revenge scheme! As always, thanks for your writing expertise and brilliant ideas when it comes to the writing process! I never thought I'd get this one done haha. But the result, I'm good with lmao._

 _Jack54311: YUP. That type of maid outfit ;). I figured she deserved her comeuppance, so here it is lol!_

 _DJJ680: Good! Hmmm, probably not long hehe._

* * *

Downstairs Miles was already present and waiting in the living room on the couch. As he eyed her up and down with an unknown intent, Lyn flushed under the scrutiny of his gaze. She had come to familiarize herself with the intensity of his looks, but it made her feel twice as vulnerable to be viewed in such a... dumb outfit. And what was worse is that she couldn't figure out what he was thinking- his ultimate plan for her today. After that wonderful wake up call, she knew for sure Miles shouldn't be snubbed for his ability to take the piss out of her.

"Yes," he mused to himself aloud. "This was the _best l_ ook."

"Um...so are you just gonna stare at me all day?" she fidgeted.

Miles raised a brow. "Are you questioning _me_ , servant?"

"No, I -"

"I'll do whatever I please with you. Is that understood?" His tone was unexpectedly no nonsense and more authoritative than usual. Without much thought she found herself bending over backwards already.

"Y-yes, sir."

With a smirk, he picked up the daily paper on his table. "Your first task will be to make me a cup of tea."

The girl nodded, muttering a yes sir as she shuffled into the kitchen.

A cup of tea? It couldn't be that difficult. She had made plenty before. Well, of course, before she was living with Miles she made tea the average way with a tea bag. But Miles was having none of it. She learned that if she wanted tea, she must do it the "proper" way. Lyn found the kettle, filled it with water from the sink, and sat it on the stove with the flame set high. Once it had come to a boil, she brought out the lavender colored tea pot. From the neatly organized cabinet above, she reached for the tea leaves, spooning into the pot first, followed by the hot water from the kettle.

This was so extra for a cup of tea, when she herself would have just opted for a simple teabag. But Mr. Snob would spot the difference from the bag and tea leaves in a heart beat, as Lyn had tested this once before. No matter what, she couldn't get away with laziness around him. But one of these days she would find a way to cut corners. Though, she doubted it would be today.

Once the tea was ready, she poured some into a cup with the strainer to separate the leaves. Feeling happy with her work, she added some cream and a few teaspoons of sugar for good measure. Carefully walking as to not trip over herself, she returned to Miles in the living room holding the tea on tiny saucer.

"Here you are, sir," she said as politely as she could muster, still annoyed she had to do this.

Miles took the tea, and had a sip. Just as quickly, he sat the cup down, mouth curled into a frown.

"Servant," he began sharply.

Oh boy. She felt the wrath of criticalness approaching. "Yes, sir?"

"There is far _too_ much cream."

Too much cream? Seriously? She had barely put a dribble in there!

How badly she wanted to protest, but Lyn sucked in her teeth and as gently as possible spoke. "...I'm very sorry. Shall I make another one?"

"Yes. Only 2 creams. 1 spoonful of sugar," the demon prosecutor said as he hastily returned the cup to her.

Lyn nodded as she took the tea back into the kitchen and sipped it herself. There was nothing wrong with this tea. It was freaking awesome, and no she wasn't just simply saying that because she made it. She sucked at making many things, but even she could make a cup of tea. But wanting to move on with her day and life she dumped it. Stupid Miles, the picky bastard, she thought.

Once more she made another cup as he requested and brought it back with a plastered on smile as to avoid cursing at him. "Here you go, sir. I did just as you asked."

Unimpressed, he took a sip. "Servant!"

"Y-yes, sir?"

"What. Is. This," he said shaking his head. "This is disgustingly sweet. I know that perhaps you have a terrible sweet tooth, but I do not. My taste buds are offended."

"Sorry, sir. Very sorry. I understand, I won't make that mistake again!" she said head bowed. But it wasn't so much out of servitude as it was to prevent him from seeing her face which was beginning to contort in rage.

"Tsk. Do it again. This time, right," he said as he once more returned the saucer and tea cup to her.

She nodded furiously as she returned to the kitchen, gritting her teeth.

Lyn returned forcing a smile so hard, she feared her lips would fall off. She passed him the tea for what she hoped would be the last time.

He took a sip yet again and this time sighed. "A milky mess, but I suppose this will do."

She could feel her eye twitching. She made all of those cups of tea just how he asked! "Shall I make it again, sir?"

"No, I believe this is as good as it's going to get," he complained.

Breathe, she told herself. Breathe...she mused before she snapped and lost her cool.

"Is there something the matter, servant?" he asked with a smirk.

"Such an ass," she muttered under her breath.

"What was that?"

"N-nothing," she grinned wanting to cry on the inside. "I'm totally happy to serve, even if it's not to your liking hahahah..."

"What did I say about violating the rules?" he tsked. "There are no warnings, just punishments."

"H-huh? Wh-what are you gonna do...?" Shit. He hadn't specified the punishment, but she watched him as he was reaching for something under the couch. And like pulling out a rabbit out of a hat, what emerged was what appeared to be this giant brown paddle.

"Come over," he demanded.

Nervously, she shuffled over a couple feet closer to the demon prosecutor.

"Now, bend over."

"B-bend over...?" she flushed.

"That will now be 3 flanks for disobeying orders."

"S-seriously?! You're gonna hit me with that thing?!"

"4 times, now. You can keep talking, up to you," Miles remarked dryly as he brandished the heavy looking instrument.

Pouting, Lyn did as she was told, feeling a cross between embarrassed and nervous. That didn't look like the fun type of pain.

Without warning, the demon prosecutor whipped her behind with the paddle. Unable to control her voice, Lyn howled from the searing sting. Miles didn't give her any breaks and continued to reward her with 3 painfully unfun attacks. Sniffing and wiping her teary eyes, she forced herself to stand upright. Her ass was on fire. And seeing as Miles was keeping his word, she would do her damnedest to not break anymore rules.

"I hope that you've learned your lesson. Otherwise, I have more where that came from," he said as gripped the paddle of doom all too happily.

Lyn swallowed hard. She really should watch herself or else she'd lose any feeling she had in her butt by the end of this ordeal. "O-of course..."

Edgeworth chuckled, just eating this all up. "While your tea needs work, there are other ways you can appease me."

With a fake smile as a way to prevent another onslaught and to perhaps feel less pain, she asked, "And what ways would that be, sir?"

"Your next task will be cleaning the entire kitchen."

Inwardly sighing, the cheeky prosecutor began to stagger back to the kitchen.

"But before that, servant, I left a meal for you in the refrigerator. I suggest you have that before such intense work."

"...Oh, thank you so much, sir," she replied as happily as she could muster. Admittedly, Lyn did like when Miles made food, since he was actually skilled at cooking, but seeing the circumstances of today, she was fully aware there'd be some catch.

Lyn continued on into the kitchen, now scoping out the fridge. Carefully, she pulled it open in anticipation of something unholy popping out to get her. But to her relief, there was nothing to cause a jump scare or the like. Just the usual suspects, milk, eggs, vegetables, leftovers. But the note sticking to what appeared to be a plastic bottle of some ...green liquid and a plate of plastic wrapped food caught her eye.

She pulled them out and sat them on the table.

The note read: _For the servant's nutrition, which has been severely lacking. Here are healthier options._

The girl paled. This quite possibly was her worst nightmare. The plate was full of raw celery, carrots, broccoli and cucumbers, without even so much a trace of dressing! On top of that, she realized the drink was one of those detoxifier things she'd see Miles drinking. And whatever he was consuming, she was aware it was more healthy (and probably gross tasting) than not!

Lyn thought to just have one of the dreadful choices before her, but that drink seemed like a smoothie and the vegetables were dry by itself. . . That jerk had planned every inch of this out.

 _Damn you, Miles._

Hesitantly, she unscrewed the lid of the bottle, shoved it into her mouth, and chugged. But not for too long as she quickly tore the bottle away from her lips coughing and sputtering. It was awful! It had left a strong burning sensation in the back of her throat and a bitter taste that had settled on her tongue. "The hell is this shit?"

"Oh?" Of course she said that as Miles emerged from the living room with the cup of tea.

"N-no! I meant it what the heck...was that...shiiiitake mushroom!"

But it was too late. Miles shook his head, dropped his dishes in the sink and emerged with the evil paddle. Within the short span of a minute her bottom was bruised once more.

"Ugh..."

"This is a green smoothie. Quite nutritious unlike the things you put into your body on a regular basis. Be grateful," he said tapping a finger against his brow.

"I'm SO grateful. Thank you SO much."

Yet, Miles didn't leave her in any peace, instead he took a seat at the table. "Continue your meal. Since you're acting like a child, I should see to it that you finish all of what I made."

Lyn bit her lip. She wanted, no needed to swear. Or maybe she just needed to murder Miles. But returning to feigning happiness, she smiled as she slowly placed herself in the chair beside the evil man, and tried the drink once more. Unable to withstand the terrible celery, apple, ginger and kale flavors, the girl opted to down the whole thing at once. Painfully after that, she had the dry veggies. They did nothing to take away the overpowering healthy taste. It just went to show that being healthy would always be terrible. In the corner of her eye, Miles was sitting there smirking the entire time enjoying the spectacle as though she was his entertainment.

"How did you enjoy the meal?" he asked tongue in cheek.

She sort of wanted to puke. "Mhm. It was quite...delectable."

The man chuckled. "I'm glad you think so. But your break is over. Again, your assigned task is cleaning every inch of the kitchen until it's spotless. The cleaning supplies, as I'm sure you already saw, are in the corner by the fridge."

"Aw- I mean, I'm excited and ready to get to work haha."

"As you should," Miles said exiting the room. "I expect the best so don't slack off."

Once Lyn was certain he was out of the room and out of hearing range, she sighed and whispered a couple of curse words to herself. How much more of the day could there be, she wondered.

On the floor was a scrubber, as well as a mop in a bucket of water. On the table was a pair of yellow rubber gloves and a sponge. Gods, she hated cleaning. She thought to cut in half the cleaning time by only focusing on the most unclean areas, so getting the dishes, cabinets over the stove, counters, the table and the fridge first. And...meh. The walls and floors. So...she essentially had to do the whole kitchen to begin with. No shortcuts.

Turning over her shoulder to make sure the coast was clear, she quietly sighed to herself. This was a pain in the ass especially for a lazy person like her. She grabbed the gloves, not enjoying the strong smell of the rubber and slid them on.

First, she scrubbed down the stove with all the elbow grease she had. Next, she wiped and disinfected the counter tops and cleared and cleaned the kitchen table. For some time, she focused her efforts on emptying the fridge of old food, organizing and creating space, and cleaning surfaces inside.

By that point Lyn was tired. She figured the next easiest route for herself was to wash the dishes in the sink. She turned the warm water on and poured the soap onto the sponge. Out of everything to do, doing dishes was simple enough. And honestly, sometimes she didn't mind doing them. Especially with some music, she could somewhat get away from the monotony of the chore with it. Reaching in one of those incredibly small pockets on the front of the dress, she pulled out her phone and hit shuffle.

 _My body is your party, baby_  
 _Nobody's invited but you, baby_

 _Oo._ _Body Party was a fun one! Well, fun if you wanted a sensual grind_ , Lyn mused.

 _I can do it slow now, tell me what you want_  
 _Baby, put your phone down, you should turn it off_  
 _'Cause tonight is going down, tell your boys is going down_  
 _We in the zone now, don't stop_

There was just something about the beat to this song she liked. Slow, but not too slow. Sexy, but not over the top. It wasn't a try too hard vibe. Ciara was able to sound sweet and also range sultry, and that made it more fun to sing.

 _You can keep your hands on me, touch me right there, rock my body_  
 _I can't keep my hands off you, your body is my party_  
 _I'm doing this little dance for you_

As she scrubbed the dishes on the under water, she couldn't help but sway from side to side, having fun pretending to be a sexy singing as she swung her hips seductively from side to side. Anyone who ever listened to this song and claimed never to dance to it, let alone feel like a stripper or some equivalent was a damned liar.

 _You got me so excited_  
 _Now it's just me on you_  
 _Your body's my party, let's get it started_

Unbeknownst to Lyn, Miles had decided to pop up into observe the status of the cleanup. He noted the counters, table, and stove being polished, but what he noticed at the kitchen sink caught his eye most. He smirked at the display, the singing probably left more to be desired, but he was interested in how she moved so loosely.

Lyn told him she enjoyed dancing, but she had never once shown him. Whenever he'd ask for a performance, Lyn would usually brush it aside and claim she needed to prepare something or tell him she couldn't with him watching.

 _Boy, you should know that your love is always on my mind_  
 _I'm not gonna fight it, I want it all the time_

Nearly tiptoeing, Miles approached Lyn from behind, seeing this as another perfect opportunity to mess with her.

 _Boy you should know that your love is always on my mind_  
 _I can't it deny it, I want you, I want you_

"Is that right?" the demon prosecutor asked as he pressed his lips against her ear.

"Ah!" Lyn gasped causing the soapy water in the sink to slap her in the face. Annoyed, she took a second to regain her composure. "Sir, you've scared the living shh-daylights out of me!"

"Then you're at fault for not hearing me over your song and dance," he teased.

She flushed deeply. Had he seen all of that...? "I...I'm sorry. I'll go back to cleaning-"

The man wrapped his arms around her waist. "Dear servant, there's nothing to be sorry for. I enjoyed _every_ second of it."

At this point she felt ready to die. She tried to focus her attention on the remaining dirty dishes in the sink, but struggled as she felt her evil boyfriend's intoxicating presence against her.

"In fact, I think you should do it more often," he said as he slid one of his hands up her chest.

"Is..." her head was emptying out. Her other thoughts had vanished as he began to tease her body. "...that right?"

Ugh. She desperately needed to turn around. But as soon as she so much as tilted her head in his direction and pulled her wet gloves from the sink, he commandeered the ship.

"Don't move," he said. "Keep your hands there."

"But-" how she longed to touch. It was killing her.

"Continue with your assigned duties, servant. Unless, you're looking for a punishment."

She scowled. "...Isn't this...unfair, sir?"

He kissed her neck. "It's teaching you how to focus on the task at hand."

What a cheap shot, she thought. With an even cheaper excuse...

 _'Cause I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it_  
 _Sex in the air, I don't care, I love the smell of it_

Oh dear. Lyn had forgotten that her songs were still playing. Miles was now laughing.

 _Sticks and stones may break my bones_  
 _But chains and whips excite me_

The woman found herself wanting to shrink further into the ground at this point. She had no shame of what songs she'd left on her phone. It was just that Miles never heard a majority of the things she listened to. And of course, her shuffle sought to humiliate her today!

"What _interesting_ tastes you have in music, servant," he whispered in her ear.

"Don't think anything of it, sir...I just like the way they sound aha..." she awkwardly laughed, trying to ignore that tickling sensation that was lighting her up on the inside. What torture it was to focus on a sink of dirty dishes now!

He slid his hands down to her hips. "Mhm. It reminds me of the truth you desperately tried to hide, meine schlampe."

Lyn flushed so hard, she thought her face were about to melt off. Furiously, she forced herself to finish up the last remaining dishes.

"Good job, servant," Miles remarked at the emptied sink. He let go of her and gave her bottom a congratulatory smack with his hand.

The girl gasped, not expecting the hit and just as quickly flushed angrily at the man.

"Now, scrub the floor," he commanded.

Moving away from the sink, she grabbed the mop and bucket.

"Are you listening, servant?" Miles shook his head. "I told you to _scrub_ the floor, not mop."

 _You're kidding me._

Hiding the aggravation, she dropped the mop back in the corner by the fridge and grabbed the hand brush.

"Yes, good. Now scrub the floor. On your knees."

"You-"

Miles was wearing a shit eating grin if she had ever seen one. He only raised a brow in response.

She caught herself before she said something regrettable. "You are quite something, sir! Really! I would have never been this...creative..."

 _Nor perverted..._

"Yes, well expect only the _best_ from me."

He hadn't taken his eyes off her. Pouting on the inside, she slowly brought herself to the ground on her knees, feeling the air on her backside. The costume was stupidly small, and even more ridiculously exposing.

Forcing herself to endure the ridiculousness of it all, she lathered the scrubber in the soapy water and began to scrub.

"Servant."

"Yes, sir?" What now? What could he seriously want now? He was already making her clean up the long way.

"Look at me as you do it," he commanded. "And you should be using more elbow grease than that. These floors do need a very _thorough_ cleaning."

Lyn scowled, but caught herself before she raised her head. A close lipped smile was once again all she could do if that. Hesitantly, the woman made eye contact with her evil master for the day. The smug bastard was smiling with conceit as expected, but the attention on her at this particular moment in time with her body more exposed than she would have cared for made flush even harder. At this point she could have used an icepack to cool her burning face and ears, as she began to exert more force on the floor...creating a bouncing motion for certain parts of her body...

It wasn't until some time later, about whenever she started sweating from scrubbing the ground so hard, Miles told her to stop.

"What's next...then, sir?" she panted out, happy that that was over with.

"Well..." A devilish grin crept upon his face. "I wanted you to do only a few more things."

* * *

"A few more things, my ass!" Lyn huffed to herself upstairs. Miles had given her a rather long list of chores to complete before 6pm.

 _Laundry?- check._

 _Ironing? -check._

 _Water the plants? -check._

 _Take Pess for a walk? -check._

 _Bathroom cleaned? -check._

 _Recycle sorted? -check._

 _Trash taken out? -check._

 _Pedicure? -check._

 _Dusting Steel Samurai collectables? -check._

She had just finished dusting his collectables, which was a pain as it was since there were SO many of them. Plus, God forbid if she dropped one or put one back in the wrong spot, in what she called his "shrine" of nerd figurines and what not.

But it didn't beat the pedicure, Lyn was half tempted to piss in the water for it, but figured it would backfire for a number of reasons. Since, well, she had to give the pedicure after all...by this point she was already exhausted. She was still forced to wear the high heels and her feet had started to hurt 2 hours into the day.

And it wasn't even comfortable to sit since her ass stung from being hit with that damn paddle!

"SERVANT!" Miles barked from downstairs.

The cheeky prosecutor sucked in her teeth. For fuck's sake ! What was it now? Every 5 minutes, he was calling for her to do something.

Dropping her dust rag on the floor, she shuffled downstairs. "What is it, milord?"

"I dropped my pen. Pick it up."

Lyn took a deep breath, but said nothing aloud. She saw the pen only a couple of feet away from the demon. Holding her annoyance at his pompous behavior, she bent over and dropped it in his lap.

"Thank you, servant," he said, before flinging it across the room against the wall. "Ah, my hand slipped. Mind picking it up again?"

"Tsk! You bastard!" she snapped involuntarily.

Miles chuckled. "Go bring it back over to me, servant."

Lyn knew she screwed herself there, but she took a moment to glare at him before dragging herself across the living room to pick up his stupid pen. She aggressively dropped it on him this time around.

"Now, bend over," he demanded.

"What? That was unfair and you know it!"

"You know the rules," he said grabbing the paddle.

Growling, she did as he commanded, once again feeling the sear of the harsh surface 5 times in a row.

"Beyond that display of disobedience, I believe you're entitled to a break," he said dryly. "Have a seat."

In annoyance, she sat at the other end of the couch.

"Why are you so far away?" he asked. "You're acting like I bite."

"But you do, sir."

His only response was to smirk back. She'd have to save her snark for another time.

"Right here," he gestured next to him.

Hesitantly, she moved over, unsure of what nonsense he had planned next for her. Lyn opened her mouth to ask, but he raised a finger to her lips.

"Hush," Miles said as he turned on the TV. "Now, it's time for the best part of the day."

She only wondered what he had meant by best part of day for moment before seeing the Steel Samurai appear on the screen. The girl used a large amount of effort to stifle her groan.

"It's the 2 season marathon before the movie," he remarked. "Not a sound out of you."

"Of course, sir," she obliged frowning on the inside and smiling on the outside. She was trapped...she thought the Steel Samurai was alright, if not over the top. She had seen it so many times with Maya she thought her eyes would fall out of their sockets. And it was a marathon? That she couldn't speak during? Miles certainly had it all planned very well. Too well.

When the theme song began to play with the Steel Samurai flashing across screen, Lyn felt her soul ascending. To hell or heaven, she couldn't tell. She only knew she would die of agonizing boredom...

After endless hours of the drama between the Steel Samurai, the Evil Magistrate, and the Pink Princess, Miles _finally_ turned off the TV. Thank God, the girl thought to herself. She couldn't take anymore of the over dramatized fights involving the power of love and friendship. It would also be nice to stand, seeing as her butt was still aching.

"Hurry up, servant. We have to get going," he said dragging her by the arm, up from the couch.

"Huh? Going where, sir?"

"Just a simple dinner party I had planned."

"...What dinner party?" Suddenly Lyn felt as though any remaining stamina she had was being poured out, sorta like emptying a bottle of water.

"Oh, did I not mention it to you?" he asked mockingly. "Must have slipped my mind. Regardless, you'll be helping me serve our esteemed guests at the party."

"What the fu-"

He looked at her with a smirk, just waiting. She took a deep breath, remembering to smile that fake smile she'd been used to doing all day. "-dge. Fudge is great haha. Hope you have fudge at the party!"

"There will be far more than that," Miles said more to himself than Lyn.

"Lovely...I'm...really excited."

"Yes, I've been looking forward to this all day, even more than the Steel Samurai" he said. "I'm sure you'll enjoy it just as much as I do."

The only thing Lyn could muster was a weak nod, ready to cry from the fear of what was to come. Miles seemed more evil in this moment, so she was certain that whatever was awaiting at the party would be worse than anything that had happened all day. It was one thing to deal with this ridiculous charade in privacy, but it would be another to have to handle this in front of other people...

Within 35 minutes, they had arrived at this small function hall inside the Gatewater Hotel, specifically reserved by Miles for this little event. Food had already been prepared and catered.

"I didn't want to poison our guests with any cooking by your hands. As a result the only thing you'll be focused on will be serving plates...as well as _entertainment_."

"E-entertainment?"

The demon prosecutor passed her two envelopes, sealed. "Inside are your instructions. You are not to open them until I give you the signal. The small one you'll open first, while the other larger one will come after."

She didn't like the sound of that, but put them in her front pocket anyway. He checked his watch.

"Well, well, our guest should be arriving any moment now. I'll be going to greet everyone," he said with gusto. "Actually, come along with the bread and wine, servant."

"W-what? Now...?" She hadn't had the time to mentally prepare! Appear in front of people so exposed...

"Did I stutter?" he asked impatiently. A pity he couldn't bring the paddle with him, but he figured this evening would hurt more than the paddle ever would. "Bring the cart and greet our guests...as a _proper_ hostess would."

She cocked her head. Lyn was aware this meant something else ridiculous, but it was unclear of what type of ridiculous. "Um, sorry, sir. I know that's a requirement of some sort, but what exactly does it mean?"

"I'm so happy you asked, dear servant. It seems you're rather uneducated in what it means to have proper manners. In this case, while you say hello to our visitors, you're going to curtesy."

Huh? That didn't seem too bad. But then, she felt a breeze roll in. "H-Hey! Mi-Master! That's..."

"That's?"

Lyn flushed. She couldn't even make direct eye contact with him. "Erm...that's kind of inappropriate...if I'm being proper."

"Oh? And how so?" he asked with a shit eating grin.

 _Miles, you are the scum of the earth...!_

"Well, sir, if I so much as lean over, my a- rear...is going to be seen..."

"Hm. Is that right?" Like the jerk he was, he leaned over and lifted the end of the dress and took a look.

"Ah!" she gasped. If only she could punch him...

He stood back up smirking. "I suppose, that's a problem, we can't allow anyone to see your rather pink heart designed underwear."

The girl turned away from him arms folded, to hide her growing embarrassment and annoyance. "Then what do you suggest?"

"I suggest you find a way for that not to be seen."

"What."

"I mean, it's not me who's wearing it," he shrugged chuckling. "Now, no more dillydallying."

Miles pushed the swinging door open and headed out of the back room and into the front, where the table and chairs would be. The dining ware they had already set, well, it was more like him barking at Lyn on how to place everything the proper way.

Taking a huge gulp of air, the girl mustering up what little strength she had left, shuffled her way through the door dragging the somewhat squeaky cart with her. She pushed the cart off to the right side of her and took the bottle of wine, pouring some into the glasses already placed on the table. It wasn't a large room, all things considered. Lyn assumed that maybe not too many people were coming to this surprise affair. Or, she hoped anyway. She had counted 8 chairs...so besides her and Miles, at least 6 other people would be in attendance (unfortunately). The room small, was painted a rouge color, hanging chandeliers, and had a long rectangular table covered by white tablecloth. It would have been a nice place to enjoy a simple meal in peace, but...

"Welcome, Your Honor," Miles said as he bowed. Lyn whipped her head around, so fast she thought she'd snap her neck. The judge?! Miles invited the freaking judge?!

She had little time to collect her bearings as Miles glared at her sharply. On instinct, she instantly straightened herself out, standing erect as a pole. "Y-Your Honor! What a lovely surprise to see you here," she said as she slowly, but surely curtsying, feeling the air yet again on her backside.

"I must say, thank you for inviting me out Mr. Edgeworth, it's been a while since I've been to a dinner party," the judge said with a warm smile. "And Ms. Doom, it's nice to see you as well! Though, I must say..."

"H-huh?" She noticed the old man looking at her with the scrutiny of a hawk.

"What happened? I see you're all covered in bruises!" he blinked.

Miles covered his mouth with his hand pretending to cough, even well Lyn knew damned well he was snickering at her expense.

Shit. What on earth should she say? "Ah..um...I'm okay, Your Honor...I just..."

 _Live with a perverted jerk!_

"...had a really bad fall. Yeah. A real bad fall down some stairs...Yeah..." she flushed. There was no way on earth, in heaven, or hell she'd actually reveal the source of those bruises!

"Oh dear, you must be more careful, Ms. Doom," he said shaking his head.

"I-I know, Your Honor," she said quickly shooting a dirty look at Miles who just smirked in response. "Um. Anyway, why don't you have a seat?"

Miles pulled out a chair to the left side of the head of the table, "For our esteemed guest."

The judge nodded with a quick thanks. Lyn was about to return to filling drinks, but as if that wasn't enough a parade of people were brought into the room all at once...

"This here, is where this so called party is?" asked the gruff looking man in a tattered overcoat.

"Indeed it is so! What a nice setting this is. So nice it's making my hemorrhoids do a jig!"

"I'm not late right, Edgeworth? It's not like you to invite me to one of these fancy get togethers," Phoenix said rubbing the back of his head.

"Uncle Ray is here so let's get this show started!" the idiot with the fedora clapped.

Simon scoffed. "Edgeworth sama, I do hope this will be as amusing as you said it would be."

 _Oh my God._

As if the judge wasn't bad enough! He had to invite Grossberg? AND Badd? Lyn swallowed hard, just seeing the other people she had a degree of respect for appearing in that...dumb...

"Welcome everyone, I'm quite glad you've all arrived in perfect time," Miles said with yet another bow.

"L-likewise..." Lyn muttered following suit, holding the back of the costume down with her hands as much as she could. Ugh! She hated Miles! He had designed this perfectly, being a sausage fest in all!

Avoiding making eye contact with anyone, she returned to filling the glasses and placing the bread on the table, while Miles was distracted with seating the others. The woman thought to wheel the cart back out to hide in the backroom for a while, and started to move as fast as she could without being noticed.

But as usual fate wasn't so kind. Miles spotted her from the corner of his eye, and grabbed her arm. He leaned over and whispered, "Nice try. Leave it by the back door until I tell you to go back."

"Ngh..."

"Everyone is seated, so go over to your seat at the other end of the table," he demanded. "And then you're going to open the first letter."

"Fine," she huffed as she snatched away from him, wheeling the cart into the corner next to the backdoor. As annoyed as she could show, she shuffled off to her seat, giving Miles the stink eye. But he shrugged it off, even being as bold to quickly pinch her ass when no one was looking. She took seat at the other head of the table, her right side Phoenix and to her left Ray.

Miles took a sip of wine, getting ready for the fireworks to begin. Any moment. And he had front row seats, having her directly across from him.

Lyn pulled out the dumb letter and tore it open. Pulling out the card, she quickly scanned it:

 _Since this party was my magnificent idea, I think I deserve your highest praises throughout the entire night. Any compliment will do. On top of it you will be telling our wonderful guests, just what you think of them...which isn't as nice as how you think of me._

 _Insult everyone at this table to the best of your ability._

 _Especially Wright. For every compliment you give me, you must insult him._

 _You'll get my cue when to begin, servant. I expect your best..._

And just as quickly Lyn shoved the absurd letter back in her dress pocket. She looked at Miles from across the room, chatting with the judge. Just what the hell was she going to do with this? Literally insult the people here? For real? He was out of his stupid mind!

"So, Lyn how are you?" Phoenix asked.

"Ah! Ahh...pretty good, maybe."

He cocked one of his squiggly brows. "Maybe?"

She opened her mouth to say something normal, but she caught Miles giving her a look from the other end of the table.

"...Yeah, maybe, since you're too dumb to understand my words, pinhead," she said in pain.

The spiky haired attorney just looked at her.

"Uh...Sorry. I was just..." she twirled a lock of her hair nervously. "...thinking of how great Miles was. He's really...great at understanding me, ahah."

"Right..." Phoenix said looking at her confused for a moment before talking to Grossberg.

She ran a hand over her face. This was going to be a long night. Miles looked at her again, tilting his head in the direction of Phoenix.

Lyn groaned. "Hey Phoenix," she interjected into the conversation.

"What is it?"

"...I think you're a huge dork and that Miles is cooler between the two of you."

"Why are you-"

The demon prosecutor, shot her yet another glance. "It's because I had to like alpha males which you are clearly not."

"Hey," he said getting defensive. "If you're going to be like that I won't hesitate anymore in telling you that your outfit makes you look as cheap as a stripper on a pole."

Oof. That stung, but she had to keep going as Miles was still watching. "Not likes it matters to me, Mr. pure of heart who I would have mistaken for virgin."

Phoenix looked pissed, but before he could say anything else Miles clinked his glass with a fork. "Before we bring out the evening's meal, I thought it best we raise a glass on behalf of all attendees."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and raised a glass. Lyn was happy to have stopped picking on Phoenix, but it was only a temporary relief. Shakily, Lyn raised hers having a bad feeling about where this was heading.

"Lyn, why don't you do the honors? I'm sure you have a lot of _strong_ feelings about everyone here."

She wanted to cry. "Haha...of course...I do..."

All eyes were on her like a spotlight on stage. "Where to start... haha...um well, Miles...um, it's really awesome you planned this whole thing."

He motioned slightly with his hand for more. The girl bit her lip. "And yes, it was quite the amazing...plan for such an amazing man...haha."

Cringing, she moved on, as he seemed satisfied with the description. "...To Simon, who is...a pretty big weabo, figurine loving, subs are better than dubs dweeb, I hope you marry your 2D waifu because she'd be the only one to tolerate your weird behavior."

The judge's eyes were like saucers, Grossberg was sweating up a storm, Phoenix's mouth hung wide open, Ray had his hands up, and Badd, just stroked his chin.

"Bah, what would you know, baka? 2D is certainly more quality than you right now," Simon shot back. "You belong in one of those dingy maid cafes!"

Lyn coughed. "Anyway...To Mr. Grossberg who's only defining character traits are hemorrhoids, being gay lovers with Redd White, and blackmail."

"...I knew it." Phoenix muttered under his breath.

"Knew what m'boy?! That is not true!" Grossberg paled. "My goodness, my hemorrhoids are on fire now because of you!"

But Lyn avoided eye contact and moved on. "To Ray, who is...kind of a jerk and a little creepy sometimes with offering everyone hugs."

"Hey, I'll tell you that everyone likes my hugs! They come from a place of peace and love!"

"And to you...Detective Badd."

Badd stared at her, pulling out his mirror. "Go on."

"...You're really scary."

"That all you got, kid?"

Lyn just nodded, she wasn't going to fuck with Badd, he'd decimate her in a second. Miles didn't even protest it, only covering his mouth to hide any laughs that might slip out. "To Phoenix..."

"What now...?"

"...who is always an idiot outside of court, and maybe a bigger idiot inside. It's really...a wonder how you solve your cases. If at all. Since you've had teenage girls bail you out repeatedly with your blind guessing..."

"I'm sure you would have gotten along well with Godot since he loved insulting me just as much."

She couldn't even bring herself to look at the attorney who's games she adored, looking down at the ground. "Um, and lastly to the judge..."

The judge watched intently, like a child with his eyes stuck to the TV.

"Erm, who's head is so shiny you could see your face in it. He looks like Mr. Clean and can't judge worth a dime...he flip flops so much, he makes Mitt Romney seem decisive! Honestly he kisses the prosecution's ass more than me!"

The judge looked at her blankly for a while. "Ms. Doom..."

She closed her eyes, waiting for the biggest verbal lashing of her life. "...I must say, that was hysterical!" he said breaking out into raucous laughter. "I love a good roast!"

At his laughter, the dinner party seemed to feel a little less tense. The others were still giving her the stink eye, but they were laughing slightly amongst themselves.

"...Cheers," she said as she awkwardly drank some wine.

The other guests followed suit. Lyn left the table, grabbed the cart, and scurried into the kitchen. That was way too much! To be fair, she needed to grab the main course to serve for dinner, and needed to be back here anyway. But holy hell it felt like she was pulling teeth!

After a couple of minutes, the backdoor swung open. "Need help, my lovely servant?"

"You can help me by going away, you ass!"

Miles just chuckled. "Good work so far, but it's not over yet. After dinner you're going to read the final note."

"God, can it be any worse than what just happened?"

"...Depends on your perspective."

"What do you mean by that?"

But the evil man didn't respond, just gave a small laugh and helped prepare the girl prepare to bring out the food.

After the serving was complete, dinner and the dessert that followed remained relatively uneventful, minus everyone at the table glaring at her or passive aggressively tearing her apart within ear range coughphoenixcough.

"Now, before you all depart for the evening Lyn had one more thing she wanted to say to you all," Miles said.

Once again, all eyes were upon her like some kind of exhibit in a zoo. "Haha oh boy...did I ever..." Lyn said as she reached into the pocket and took out the other note. This was like a whole damn speech it was so long!

She took a breath, before she doomed herself yet again to be a jackass.

"While, I roasted you, you still suck at roasting me. I will prove it by tearing myself a new one, better than any of you could ever accomplish."

"Is that, right?" asked Phoenix dripping with sarcasm.

"I think we ought to test that for ourselves," Grossberg.

Lyn was sweating now, but she opted to keep the character of the letter. "Gentlemen, I assure you, your roasts suck. Now, shut up and listen to my roast of myself. Anyway-if you thought my insults stunk..."

She looked off to the side with a groan. Of course, Miles had written this and was going for the kill immediately.

"...I'll show you how I really stunk up a dinner party just like this one, through my awful gassy farts. That's right, I passed flatulence so bad that it cleared an entire room full people. People were dying at the party that night, but if you weren't murdered brutally as some of the attendees were, you would have been killed from the two Taco Bell Chalupas I ate. But that's not the worst of it."

People were now laughing hysterically at her. She wiped her face, the red tint visible on her face.

"When I am drunk, I ..."

She smiled, but it was an awkward smile with a head tilt that screamed please murder me now. Miles mouthed at her to continue reading. She shook her. He didn't relent. She winced an continued.

"...I am as horny as a rabbit...in heat...I can't help myself. Give me a drink and I'm ready to...to..."

The demon prosecutor was waiting for this one. He had thought it out for the longest.

"To...beg and plead like the little... bitch I am," she said. She couldn't determine whether to cry or laugh, since she wouldn't deny its truth...minus the group of people she was reading in front of.

Simon cackled like a maniac in response, while that even managed to elicit a chuckle from Badd.

"I am so lucky to have Miles as the most patient, sexiest, boyfriend ever because he...ooo..."

"No," she weakly laughed. "I can't."

'Say it,' Miles mouthed. 'We aren't going home until you say it.'

She shook her head with fervor.

'Do it!'

'Fuck you,' she mouthed back from across the table.

"...because he never minds when I call him... daddy."

The room went dead silent for a moment.

"Wow, I had no idea you were so _kinky_ , Lyn sama," Simon barked slapping the table in hysterics.

"Ah, yes, this reminds me of my youth like the scent of fresh lemons."

"Uh, well..." Shields along with the others, minus the judge, looked at Grossberg not wanting to know anymore than they did at that moment. "Uncle Ray doesn't know much about that stuff, but it would explain the maid outfit..."

"Kinky? Like those knots you get in your back? Sounds rough," the judge said in concern.

" _Real_ rough," remarked Badd licking his lollipop.

"No, Your Honor, it's..." Phoenix began, as he turned pink. "Never mind."

Ready to die, Lyn pushed forward with the reading. "You haven't lived until you-"

 _Miles you egotistical maniac!_

"-you've...you've had a taste of Miles. I am very lucky that he's chosen me, maybe the gassiest, horniest person around, I praise the gods every day for the opportunity and laugh at those who never got ..."

...

...

"...daddy's big prosecutorial cock... Thank you."

At that the room went silent, but then Simon started the slow clap dying of laughter, the applause followed as Lyn scurried into the backroom to hide herself from her own very existence. She figured she'd remain here until she died because she had no intention of ever facing those people again!

Eventually, her alone time was interrupted by her evil boyfriend close to 10 minutes after the fact.

"You did well, dear servant," he smirked.

"You...!"

"I think most of our guests enjoyed the dinner."

"What? No they didn't! They weren't happy with me at all..." Minus the judge, but the judge was just being his ridiculous self not realizing the truth, thankfully!

"And that's where you're wrong," called a deep voice entering the room.

"Lawyerpants?"

Ray rubbed his hands eagerly. "Yup. Miles let me in on the joke. I helped provide some of the ideas."

"What!"

Miles tapped his temple with his index finger. "Simon knew as well, excited for the opportunity to see you humiliated for fun."

 _Simon, you ass! I should have known he would have willingly taken place without reward being the sadist he is..._

"I think you picked the best costume, Miles. Far cuter than my first pick!" Ray laughed as he clapped his hands together.

The prosecutor dramatically bowed. "Why, thank you. I like to believe I have exquisite tastes."

Lyn could barely believe this. They had conspired against her, even down to the stupid maid outfit?!

"Hrgn...you jerks!" she stomped. "I hate you!"

Ray extended his arms. "I know what could make you feel better."

"You are out of your mind!" she said, stepping towards Ray in a rage. "I know what will actually make me feel better...one huge fist to your face!"

"Eep!" the attorney raised his hands up in defense. Miles grabbed Lyn's arm preventing her from going after Ray. "Hey, hey, there's no need to be so mad. You actually looked sorta cute when you weren't enraged..."

"Don't _you_ dare call me cute!" the girl yelled, as she started to twist free of the hold. "Miles let go of me! I'm going to give him a 'real' hug!"

"...Not today you won't, Doomsday!" Ray said as he backed away and ran through the door. "Have fun taming the beast, Miles!"

 _Bastard!_ Miles had finally released her, but she couldn't chase Ray in heels, not when her feet were killing her. She would get her revenge upon Ray one day. Just wait.

The demon prosecutor shook his head at the display in amusement. "A pity not of our guests were so well informed."

Lyn gasped. "Wait...you don't mean...not everyone knew? ...Grossberg, Badd...Phoenix didn't know?"

Miles only responded by breaking into laughing.

"Omg! You're not serious! You're not!" But he never stopped laughing. Angrily, the girl shoved him. "Miles, you asshole!"

Jesus! She had had a glimmer of hope that if those two idiots knew, then so did everyone else! But Miles had squashed her dreams. Badd was a guy who wouldn't take any bullshit, the judge thought it was a roast, but poor Phoenix! Miles had her decimate the poor man the whole evening!

"You had better explain everything to them!" she jabbed.

"I already did," he said wiping a tear from his eye.

"Ooo...I'm glad this over with. I just want to bury my head in the sand..." Lyn sighed.

"Actually, you have only one last chore for tonight."

The girl looked at him blankly. "I'm sorry, but WHAT? What more would you have me do, SIR?! Hasn't this been enough to satiate your needs?!"

"No," Miles replied bluntly.

"I...I refuse! I've had enough!" she said, finally snapping as she threw her hair piece on the ground, folding her arms. "I'm tired! Of this outfit, this day, of you and-"

The girl was silenced by the hasty pressing of warm lips against hers, a kiss delivered in a manner that could devour her whole in one fell swoop.

Once he broke it off, she turned away from unable to cope with the extreme surge of anxiety, embarrassment, and eagerness all at once. It was only him who could make her feel so angry and frustrated and turn it on its head with his vulgar actions. But she liked it. Anyone else would probably be too kind. And she respected and needed a man who would go out and take what they wanted. It was hot. And it was still crazy to her that _he_ wanted her.

He refused her shyness as his warm hands had held her face, forcing her to look directly at him. The demon prosecutor looked down at her with devilish delight. "There's just one thing I've been _dying_ to do all day."

Suddenly, there was a huge knot in her throat. With reluctance she posed the question. "...And what's that?"

"You."

Lyn flushed as she recognized his tone of voice.

"Are you being shy right now, Lyn?"

"Shu...shut the hell up!" she huffed. "What the hell makes you think we're doing _that_ after what you've put me through all day, especially this dinner from hell?!"

"Oh, you poor thing. Are you upset with me?" he teased.

"Of course, I am!"

"Are you certain you don't want to? I felt your body trembling earlier-"

"You were only imagining things!"

"Really? I specifically remember when I did this-" he grabbed her from behind and felt her up. "-You were, hmm, frustrated? Needy?"

"Grr..."

"...Helpless?"

"You...you're just some stupid closet pervert with a maid fetish!"

He laughed it off. "Really? And what am I supposed to do when you refuse to show yourself under all of those baggy clothes normally?" he asked. "It only made sense to have you wear it."

"What?"

"Yes, it served two purposes."

"Well, it's a terrible outfit..."

"Don't worry, you won't be wearing it for very long."

"Miles!" She flushed at the self assuredness. Miles picked her up, bridal style.

Lyn sighed. She simply couldn't keep up the resolve to be fully angry. Especially not when she was being held like this. And especially not when he hadn't finished, let alone started, when he was getting her riled up. ...Stupid Miles. She'd kick his ass later when she was less tired and less interested in _some_ kinda reward for a day like this.

"I hate you," she grumbled in annoyance as wrapped her arms around his neck. "This...had better not be a waste of time..."

For a change, he did not smirk, but rather gave a small, albeit gentle smile.

"It won't."

* * *

After coming home and after an even longer night, morning came.

Lyn stirred from her sleep feeling the shifts in the bed beside her. "Mmm...Miles?"

"Go back to sleep," he said quietly.

"Huh?" She could barely keep her eyes open. "Where you going?"

"Work."

"Nooo," she said as she squeezed him. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Because you slept like a log. I actually _couldn't_ wake you."

"It's your fault..." she yawned. "You're gonna buy me some new clothes after what you did to them."

It was worth it in his eyes simply for her reaction to ripping everything she wore. He smirked at the memory. "Fair enough."

Miles tried to uproot himself from bed once again, but was stopped by wiry arms.

"Lyn, I know _you're_ tired, but I have to go-"

"Oh, no you're not. You're not going anywhere," she murmured, hugging him tightly. "It's still early...and besides you have business to take care of, remember?"

"Hm? There's not enough time for another round-"

"No, you perv, I meant the marriage thing! You promised you'd fix it today."

That was right, how could he forget? That was the whole cause of this whole debacle to begin with.

"And I know you, you're gonna stay in the office all day, and not fix it. So...you're gonna go deal with it and then come back home."

"Really now?"

"Mhm," she nodded. "So, you're not going anywhere yet..."

She did have a point. He didn't think a lunch break would be enough to resolve the issue, unfortunately.

"I'll concede for the time being," he said, placing a hand atop her head. "But this won't be a regular occurrence."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, just shut up and lie back down already, jeez..."

They laid their in silence for a while. He was content with it, until he realized he had a question.

"We never actually spoke about it, but you said you wanted to be married, right?"

"Hmm? Yeah, I do. Just, definitely not like what happened this weekend..."

"Believe me, there is no one on the planet that would want whatever that was," he said, still cringing at the memory of the park. "But why is it important to you?"

"Huh? Why are you grilling me all of a sudden?" she teased lightly. "It's...a bit personal, I guess. I've never seen good relationships growing up. And I only had one decent that didn't end in a nuclear fallout...so I kinda want it to prove to myself it's possible to be happy with someone. To have...naw, never mind."

"To have what?" he prodded.

"Nooo, you're going to make fun of me."

"I won't. Tell me."

"No."

"Tell me or I won't annul it today."

"Are you serious?" she sighed. "Ugh, fine. I've always wanted my own charming prince. To be married in a _nice_ ceremony, like my fairy tale dream."

He had to admit he was a little surprised. "Interesting, I would have thought you'd want have a different theme, something more aggressive."

"What? Were you thinking I'd want a viking theme or something?" she scoffed. "I might like fighting, but even my tastes are more romantic than that."

"Heh. Fair enough."

"What about you?"

"I've felt that it wasn't a necessity. Just a contractual agreement between two people. You can just as easily have a life partner without," he said. "Overall, marriage doesn't really interest me."

A fair point, but she had always wanted the full works, she couldn't go without a wedding.

"Of course, you're married to the prosecutor's office, why take two?"

He rolled his eyes.

"But you know, you said that about dating too, and here we are."

"I suppose. Though, this does have an expiration date, unfortunately."

"Yeah," the girl reluctantly admitted. She tried to push the thought of saying goodbye out of her mind every time it arose.

They both went silent.

"In that case, I believe you'll find them one day," Miles spoke quietly, even though it bothered him greatly to so much as imagine her with another man.

To begin again, would be awful especially if it wasn't him or someone like him in the very least. It's not like Lyn would easily forget about Miles. Even if he could be a big jerk or uptight. In her mind there was no one that could replace him or the experiences they've had."...Thanks."

"Even so, for this moment I..." he paused feeling the words get caught in his throat. In court he could be the most eloquent speaker, but when it came to matters of emotions, he sometimes struggled. He didn't want her to leave. Perhaps it had a foolish idea to pursue his feelings in this manner full well knowing the outcome. "...want to be that person for you."

Her eyes widened for a moment at his words. It shouldn't have surprised her, but it still did. Sometimes, it seemed that it was inane that any of this was real, that she was really here and with _him_ no less. It was even more surreal to hear simply because he kept a lot to himself.

With a smile, she planted a kiss on his cheek. "You'd make a pretty bad prince charming, ya know? You're more like my demon prince."

He flushed a bright shade of pink. Once a brat, always a brat. "Don't act like you'd be an innocent princess."

Lyn laughed. "Never said I would be. I'd be spoiled!"

"Indeed, a spoiled troll."

"Hey...!"

"And the balance in the universe has been restored," he remarked wryly as he stroked her back.

"Anyway, are you happy with your revenge now, _master_?" she murmured.

"Mhm. It had me think that perhaps we should have a real date for a change."

"Huh? A real date?"

"Yes, a date not burdened by Gumshoe's poor choices or other people's drama. Just us."

That actually sounded nice. "When?"

"Perhaps next weekend," he said as he kissed her forehead. "But only on the condition you behave yourself."

"You really think I'd want to do anything after yesterday? Please..." She would eventually get back at Miles. But after yesterday's ordeal...it could wait. Her entire body ached. She'd strike when it was least expected.

Miles chuckled. His revenge plot had been a success in that case. "Very well, I'll make some arrangements."

"Where?"

"I thought you liked surprises. Or is that a stretch for a 'boring' person like myself?" he asked dryly.

"Aw. Don't be like that," she pouted. "I think you're more mean than anything else now for sure."

"How flattering."

"What can I say? It's rare to see that level of wanton cruelty," she remarked tongue in cheek.

"You have only yourself to blame for bringing that out in me."

"Yeah, sure, mister demon prosecutor. The real reason that title exists has nothing to do with courts, clearly," she yawned.

At that statement, he responded by pinching her side.

"Ow! See? Demon right there," Lyn grumbled.

"Go back to sleep," Miles said pecking her lips. "Unless, you wish to experience something _truly_ demonic."

He had said that with a sharp glint in his eye, as though he had some evil plan up his sleeve she didn't know about. "Eh?"

"I'll tear you apart," he nearly smirked. For extra oomph, he bit her collarbone.

"...Well, look at that. I can barely keep my eyes open," she said quickly turning her back to him, as she closed her eyes.

"That's what I thought." Miles wrapped an arm around her.

After all, if she didn't sleep he wouldn't sleep either. He would put her to work...although, he doubted it would be as intense as the previous night. It was something about her irritation with him that made it more fun for him. Perhaps, this is how Lyn would feel when annoying him usually? Miles had found her reactions to be priceless. Hm...She was rubbing off on him far more than he'd like to admit. But as a demon prince, he had to rule his kingdom and subjects the proper way, even if it meant scaring them straight. And he wouldn't have it any other way...


End file.
